____________________ //\\//\\//\\//\\//\\ \\// \\// //\\ Entry #09 //\\ \\// \\// //\\//\\//\\//\\//\\ ____________________
While trying to keep tabs on all of the countries that he now controls, Rand starts to get a little confused. After hearing about some bozo being named Lord Emperor in some of his more western holdings, he decides to send a joint unit of Berelain's Mayene army, and Bashere's Saldaean army to stamp out this unspeakable menace.
Upon hearing that a large army is coming to attack the Two Rivers, Perrin, suspecting some ploy of the Dark One, gathers the TR men into an army to battle this oncoming horde. The battle remains a stalemate for a long period until Perrin gets captured by the opposing side. He gets brought before Berelain who rejoices, "Now, you are mine. I told you that I always get what I want". She pulls him back to her chambers and she forces him to have Mad Passionate Sex. To help save himself from such a dire fate, Perrin calls upon his Wolf Army to try to rescue him. Berelain catches on to his ploy and sends her army of fighting hawks to embattle the cunning wolves. The wolves being led by a reborn Hopper, are befuddled since their leader just can't fight a flying creature. Instead, Hopper is seduced by the Hawk leader and they have Mad Passionate Sex.
Hearing of her lord's dire fate, Faile gathers the Woman's Circle and marches off to the battle field. Once she arrives, she approaches her father and demands the release of her husband. He refuses, in that special way that only parents can refuse their children, "This is all for your own good. You'll thank me for this later." Seeing a very disgruntled Faile, Verin (who had been dragged along as an honorary member of the Women's Circle) pops up and says "Leave him to me, dear. I'll take care of everything." She struts over to Davram, pulls him out of the room. They have Mad Passionate Sex. She convinces him that instead of fighting each other, they should be fighting together. They walk back to the others where Davram announces his plans to march the Mayene-Perrin-Saldaean (MPS) army back to Andor.
Realizing that Nyneave and Elayne make a wonderful team, if only they can be controlled, the Tower in-Exile sends them out on a new quest, to find husbands, since their respective mates have dumped them. They immediately set off with their new pet spider, without even having any Mad Passionate Sex first, with Elayne's last remark being to Min, "Go to Caemlyn, if I can't have him then I hope that you do."
Just after they all set out, Rand starts to open communications with Salidar. He sends Mat and Egwene, there to see if he can bring the Tower in-Exile in line supporting the Lord Dragon. Egwene arrives in the middle of an argument over who should be the new Amyrlin Seat. Siuan immediately sees that Egwene would make a wonderful Amyrlin Seat, and convinces the Aes Sedai to support Egwene.
It doesn't take long for news that an army of Whitecloaks is heading for Salidar. While the Tower in-Exile is arguing over what to do, Egwene sneaks off to talk to the leader of the Whitecloak army. Seeing that it is Galad, she tries to convince him that the Tower in-Exile is the Rightful Tower and that the Tower in-Fact is in the wrong. He doesn't quite believe her, so she forces him against the wall, (using Air), rips off his clothes and they have Mad Passionate Sex. He decides that she is right and turns his army's attention towards Tar Valon.
While all of this is going on, Thom keeps having dreams about Moiraine, sitting in a room, begging for help. While walking around one disgruntled morning, he encounters Mat who is grumbling about some strange dreams of watching grown men throw an orange ball around. The two are comparing notes when the new Amyrlin Seat walks in, and over hears the conversation. Egwene tells Thom that it sounds like he is somehow entering T'a'r and that he must go and rescue Moiraine. She can't figure anything out about Mat's dream except that maybe he should go with Thom.
They begin a long and perilous journey which finally brings them to the Tower of Ghenjei. They somehow manage to break in and after a brief scuttle with some foxes and snakes manage to find Moiraine and Lanfear locked in a large room together. Moiraine runs to greet them as Lanfear snarls. As the reunion progresses, Lanfear walks over to Mat and says "At last you have come for me. If I cannot have Lews Therin reborn, then at least I can have you, Roy Navarre reborn." She pulls him over to her luscious bedding and seduces him into having Mad Passionate Sex. Thom and Moiraine are stunned by there behaviour. They are even more surprised when they notice Lanfear and Mat/Roy slowly fade away. At this point, Thom remembers the often forgotten last line of the poem, "A fire to blind..." which was "and sex to escape". They start to have Mad passionate Sex and Moiraine yells out, "Thom, I love you, will you Marry me?" They fade out before Thom has a chance to reply.
Min eventually makes her way to Caemlyn, only to be stymied by all of the armies currently there trying to prevent anyone from actually seeing the Lord Dragon, since no one who is currently at Caemlyn knows who she is. She eventually makes it as far as Aviendha who for some unknown reason has taken to wearing Cairheinian clothing. Min recognizes her from her visions and starts to get angry, then she notices the image of an infant floating above Aviendha's head. Knowing what this means, she runs away from Aviendha in tears and somehow runs straight into Rand. Rand surprised to see her asks her what is wrong. Min is so stunned that she can only stand back and look at Rand. While doing this, she notices that there is an image of a very pregnant Min standing over Rand. Seeing this, she starts babbling to Rand about everything and ends up by telling him that she loves him. Rand is so overcome by this that he is launched into a fit of madness and decides that he must have Min right then and there. They have Mad Passionate Sex, right there in the hallway.
About then, Aviendha and some miscellaneous Andoran guard walks down the hall and finds the happy couple in a very compromising position. A very mad Aviendha turns around and starts to stomp away, only to be halted by a picture on the wall. "Why is there a picture, of Shaiel hanging on the wall," she exclaims. "Shaiel," the guard exclaims, "who's Shaiel, that is Andor's former queen, Tigraine." "No," Aviendha returns, "that is Shaiel, Rand's mother." Realizing that Tigraine must be Shaiel, Rand realizes that actually is in line for the throne of Andor, and in the throws of madness declares himself: King of Andor.
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