DC Darkfriend Social No. 2131

This is my summary of the social, plus lists of Quotes Out Of Context from Chris and Judy. A page of pictures is now available.

Saturday the 23rd of September, 1995 NE, beheld the 14th public gathering of the DC Darkfriends. (Judy G puts the number at 2131, but even if you count all the private clique-only parties we've had, the total still only comes to about 17.)

Thirteen darkfriends attended. How... apropos.

We met ChrisW in front of the restaurant, where we had agreed to gather. He said he saw us in a bookstore minutes before, but that we didn't recognize him. Well of course... in email, Chris had desribed himself as looking like an Ogier. I didn't see any 4-foot tall men with tufted ears and 10-gallon boots in the bookstore. Not only was Chris inaccurate in describing himself as an Ogier, but he was also wrong about saying that he had no ears. I believe he meant to tell us that he had no hair.

Chris, Hawk, Brad, Chad, and I loitered in front of the restaurant for a while. The five of us bashed various people on the group, but it was all for Educational Purposes... you see, Chris is a newbie, and we had to teach him about What Not To Do. Chris was a very willing pupil, up until we tried to tell him that custom in our group is that the newbie at a social has to buy everyone else a drink. He didn't believe us. Maybe if we put it in the FAQ, we can scam free drinks of off future newbies.

Mike Macchione arrived and showed us his masterpiece: the House RASFWRJ Family Tree (v3.1), handwritten on a 6' cloth banner. Chad dubbed him Sir Mike "Poster Child for the Please, Please, Pleese Get a Life Foundation" MPS.

Joe Shaw came and we left. We left with him, of course. We decided that standing outside the restaurant was boring, and we didn't want to sit inside since we'd be spending a lot of time in there later. I think that our boisterous conversation was annoying the people staffing the voter registration desk next to the restaurant. Joe(?) suggested that we could set up a table next to them to register darkfriends. ("Why pick the lesser evil? Vote for Ba'alzamon in 1996." {2pts for the ref})

Hawk was trying to unload a roll of lollipops she bought. Surprisingly, very few people accepted them. Maybe they would have been more willing if she had offered them to motorists on I-95. Chris was the exception, though. I think he ate half the roll, sometimes several at once. He'd stuff them in his mouth until no more would fit, then he'd shove one behind his ear for later.

We lounged in the ObFoodCourt until 3:00. Our discussion ranged from the geeky to the super geeky. 'Nuff said.

We went back to the restaurant and found a few more darkfriends: Mike Ikeda and Craig Levin. Craig explained that he wants to become a DC darkfriend since he's a grad student at Catholic University (in DC) now. "Why are you at Catholic?" Hawk asked. "Because they have the best Medieval Studies program around," he said. "How fitting," responded about 3 people in unison.

We grilled Craig for the low-down-n-dirty on John Novak. "He's always worn black," Craig said, during one of his periods of free association. "Yeah," I said, "the day he was born, the doctors wrapped black diapers around him. And they didn't wave in the wind."

Erica Sadun arrived and was introduced to everybody. When she got to me, I said "Hi, I'm Bill Garrett." She stared at me with eyes as wide as saucers and said, in a hushed tone of disbelief, "No way." I have yet to figure out that comment. Maybe she was puzzled by my attire? I certainly took the prize for most overdressed attendee of a social. I probably also got the prize for Secret Service Lookalike and would have taken the Resevoir Dogs nomination with flying colors if I had a cigarette and a pair of chrome-plated .45 automatic pistols. As it was, I had to rely on the strength of my clothes, my shades, and my sneer to carry the part.

Shortly after we sat down, another three darkfriends arrived. They were Elizabeth Cornwell, Brian Postow, and Judy Ghirardelli. Elizabeth had apparently come from her fashionable apartment in Manhattan... that's quite a drive to make to share the afternoon with the miserable likes of us, Elizabeth! Brian Postow entered wearing a napkin on his head, as per my foretelling. When Judy arrived, we declared that we had to get a picture of Judy and Erica, appearing together at the same time in the same place. Group consensus was that I (Bill) should appear in it, too, since I've been doing that twinny stuff with them recently. I'm the Twin of Judy's Heart, and Judy is the Twin of Erica's Soul, so Erica and I are some sort of trans-twins. Anyway, the three of us proved that we're separate (non)entities by appearing simultaneously.

Hawk handed her camera to Erica and... and... Erica went crazy. She started bouncing off the floor, tables, and walls, sort of like the Domino's Pizza Noid, cackling the whole time with mad glee. Look! It's Chad and Craig! *click* *click* Look! It's Judy and Erica! *click* Now Bill's in the picture! *click* *click* Mike's holding the banner of the family tree! *click* There's Hawk and Bill! *click* *click* *click* Wow! Look at those surprised customers! *click* When Erica returned the camera to Hawk, the shutter button was smoking and the frame counter was on 23. (Hawk had put in a fresh roll before lending the camera to Erica.)

Sometime during the photo-taking orgie, we had an informal, unannounced limbo contest. Erica, Judy, and Craig took turns crawling under the table. (We actually did have more than one table, thanks to a generous donation from Chad, who had just received a double paycheck the day before, but after splurging for the second table, we didn't have enough left for a limbo pole.) Craig got stuck. *click* *click* Erica got stuck, too, but has paid me not to mention how.

Mike brought along a bag of clues and passed several of them out. Chad, Mike, and I decided that Chris, the token newbie, needed it more than anyone else. He was at the far end of the table, though, so Chad tossed a clue to him. I was worried that the clue would go sailing straight over Chris's head, but Chris caught it with no difficulty. Mike gave me a clue to replace the one I had that broke.

Hawk and I had to leave soon thereafter, as we had plans for the evening. I wish I could have stayed longer at the social, but I did have fun while I was there.

Context-Free Quotes

No report from a DC Darkfriend Social would be complete without a list of wacky quotes purposefully taken out of context. Here are several of them, as recalled by ChrisW:

Judy Ghirardelli kept a list of them, too. She recalls:

Back to the Darkfriend Socials page

Bill Garrett