[conspire] (off-topic rant:) Things I learned while getting a new refrigerator

Tue Apr 30 20:11:33 PDT 2013

Proof that Murphy was an optimist!

Goof-ups seem to be the norm for appliance installations. My new washer and dryer were not as
bad as your adventures.

I am dreading the future replacement of both refrigerator and dishwasher in the future. The fridge 
has a small space to fit into and a narrow doorway to get into the kitchen.

Ross

On Apr 30, 2013, at 12:20 AM, Rick Moen <rick at linuxmafia.com> wrote:

> 
> o  Lawyers are afraid of water.
> o  Deliverymen are afraid of copper.
> o  A work order is merely an opening to negotiation.
> o  Mothers-in-law cannot count.
> o  Mobile telephone numbers are invisible.
> 
> 
> The evening of Saturday, April 13th,  I notice that some items in my
> refrigerator's freezer compartment didn't seem to be very frozen.  I
> make a figurative note to self to investigate and maybe adjust the
> controls some time soon after I caught up on sleep.
> 
> 
> I.  Failure, Part Un.
> 
> Adequate sleep was not to be, because mother-in-law Cheryl, who 
> lives with us, cannot count:  At 7 AM Monday morning, Cheryl wakes me up
> two hours early, by bellowing into the master bedroom 'Rick, the freezer
> isn't working.  We need to do something about it.'  I stagger out,
> and it soon transpires that 'we' means just Rick, Cheryl's role being
> limited to standing in the way and asking poorly thought out questions.
> Based on a dumb (but plausible when not really awake) hypothesis that
> freezer overstuffing had blocked airflow, I swap out some contents,
> clean, adjust the controls, and set an ice cube tray to reveal later 
> whether the freezer is doing its thing.
> 
> 
> II.  Failure, Part Deux.
> 
> By Tuesday evening, it emerges that the freezer's thing no longer includes
> freezing anything.  Control-twiddling does not avail.  I correct some
> yoyo's prior 'help' in pushing the appliance almost to the back wall
> (which thereafter impaired airflow).  I vacuum-clean the condensor
> coils, etc.  No go.  I write a second figurative memo to prevent further
> 'help' using wooden blocks.
> 
> Wednesday the 17th:  Cheryl has been more helpful, and finds a
> well-regarded local appliance vendor, Pacific Sales of Redwood City.
> Over lunch, I go there.  We require a side-by-side because Deirdre and
> Cheryl cannot reach down to a bottom freezer drawer.  Also, ideally we
> need a 'counter depth' model that doesn't project so deep into the
> kitchen.  All the desirable models have both icemaker and water
> dispenser, which like electric car windows seems like just something
> more to break but we are reasonably happy with a Whirlpool GSC25C4EYY
> for $1499 + tax, so we buy it even though they're backordered on this
> popular model and cannot promise delivery for two weeks.  What the heck,
> we still have a functional refigerator:  It's just the freezer portion
> that's wonky.  I shell out for the Whirlpool.  I waffle on whether we
> want to pay for water hookup, because I don't know if my 1956 house has
> the water line.  Our rep Brett says, if we install a water line, be sure
> to have the plumber include a shutoff valve behind the refrigerator.
> 
> That evening, the non-freezer compartment also shows signs of failure, 
> and the refrigerator is running continuously, trying to compensate.
> Thursday, our Pacific Sales contact calls back:  Hey, we can deliver
> Friday or Saturday!  I've checked:  There's no existing water line.  So,
> I arrange for Guy Plumbing to install the water line Friday.  Delivery
> will be Saturday.
> 
> 
> III.  Hydrophobia.
> 
> Over the telephone, Guy Plumbing's dispatcher asks 'Do you have hardwood
> floors?'  I didn't quite hear the question, she thinks I said yes, and
> she firmly tells me their insurance won't let them do plumbing with
> hardwood floors.  (People with hardwood floors have to just use
> outhouses, I guess.)
> 
> I don't entirely get this, but clarify that we have tile flooring in the 
> kitchen.  Oh, that's all right, then.  
> 
> Friday, I drive home over lunch to make sure things aren't going
> sideways with the plumber.  I repeat the bit about a shutoff valve
> behind the fridge.  He says 'Appliance installers are a bit peculiar and
> inflexible about what they think they need.  If they have a problem,
> have them call me.'  There's a very obvious needle valve under the
> kitchen sink.  Fine.
> 
> I arrange with Pacific Sales for the delivery people to do the line
> hookup.  It's now part of the work order.
> 
> 
> IV.  Scheduled Doesn't Mean Scheduled.
> 
> Saturday the 20th, a week into this decreasingly chilly saga, we're
> sitting around waiting for the delivery.  I've moved spoilables into an
> icechest and am now buying two 10lb bags of ice daily.  Just before 5pm,
> smelling a screwup, we call Brett at Pacific Sales.  He says:  That's
> funny.  We sent the paperwork but somehow it wasn't added to the
> delivery schedule.  He says he has to call us back and is trying to line
> something up for Sunday.  Fifteen minutes later, he calls to say he's
> arranging for Best Buy to do the delivery on Monday, as Pacific Sales
> will be closed Sunday and Monday.  Grr, OK, best that can be done.
> 
> 
> V.  Gosh, We Knew We Were Forgetting Something.
> 
> Monday late afternoon, nobody is showing up.  More calls.  The Best Buy
> people say:  'Oh, we had your delivery order, but it didn't include your
> _address_.'  WTF?  How can it be considered a delivery order without an
> address?   In what universe does that make even the tiniest amount of
> sense?  And wouldn't you, y'know, call one of the two mobile numbers
> written on the order?
> 
> They promise they'll furnish a $75 Best Buy coupon for being such total
> prats -- which they never provide -- and say we're this-time-for-sure 
> the very first delivery for Tuesday morning.
> 
> 
> VI.  Copper is the Colour of Death.
> 
> Tuesday 8:30am, an unfamiliar number rings my mobile and there's nobody
> there.  I call back, it rings through, and there's nobody talking.  I
> hang up and call back a second time, and it's a Best Buy deliverman
> speaking monosyllables (the most he can manage), who says they're just
> finishing up their _first_ delivery of the morning and will arrive in 10
> minutes.
> 
> 20 minutes later, they finally show.  The gorillas remove the old
> refrigerator, splashing dirty water from the spill tray onto my kitchen
> floor.  They ask me how to do their jobs and ask to borrow an Allen
> wrench.  (Because, y'now, if you're working with tools, it would never
> do to have them.)  I say, imperial or metric set?  Metric.  I fetch.   
> 
> The gorilla ignores the fact that all the parts of the refrigerator are
> covered by plastic protective wrapping that must be removed, and fastens
> the handles.  That's what he wanted my Allen wrenches for.  (Later, I
> have to detach the handles to remove the plastic, then reattach the
> handles.  Thanks, guy!)
> 
> The gorilla takes a peek into the refrigerator nook, then says the
> Amazing Words of the Day:  'Oh, that's copper.  I'm not allowed to touch
> copper.  I'll be fired if I do.'  Quote unquote.
> 
> I'm having another WTF moment about company policy.  Having the shutoff
> valve under the kitchen sink is no obstacle, but Element 29 is a total
> deal-breaker.  Their having been _paid_ to do hookup does not avail.
> 
> I don't understand this, but I see a simple task and a delivery gorilla
> holding a wrench.  I say 'So, no problem if I touch the copper, right?'
> No problem.  He also has no problem fumbling along the back of the
> Whirlpool to find the attachment nib, unscrews its cap, and fumbles the
> cap into the innards of the refrigerator.  (Thanks, guy!)  I pull the
> water line over without immediately fatal effects, screw its fitting
> onto the nib, and use the gorilla's wrench to fasten it tight.  He beams
> in the reflected glory of someone actually doing something useful, then
> leaves.  I spend the next hour removing packing materials, and getting
> the refrigerator going arriving at work 1/2 hour late.
> 
> 
> VII.  The Mystery of Water and Copper Solved.
> 
> The gorilla's absolute prohibition against touching copper having been
> very particular, I am able to quote his odd utterance verbatim to my
> coworkers.  My hillbilly colleague Colin explains:
> 
> o  The whole thing's driven by corporate fear of liability lawsuits.
> 
> o  The plumbing company fears legal liability for leak damage to hardwood floors.
> 
> o  The appliance company assumes that delivery people are idiots.
> 
> o  Hookups for water to refrigerator can be either plastic pipe or
>   flexible copper coils.  If the gorilla breaks the plastic pipe, that
>   break will be obvious instantly and ended using the shutoff valve. 
>   By contrast, the gorilla kinking a coil of copper tubing could cause 
>   a really slow water leak that could cause immense damage to flooring and
>   subflooring before being noticed.
> 
> o  So, delivery people are simply forbidden to ever touch copper.  If
>   they don't touch it, they can't break it.
> 
> 
> VIII.  Denouement.
> 
> The refrigerator works great, and easy access to filtered water and
> automatically generated ice is corroding my crypto-Protestant
> asceticism.
> 
> However, if I ever have to buy another refrigerator, I'm frakking well
> going to rent a pickup and appliance dolly, and do it myself.
> 
> 
> 
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