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AFW - Purpose

"Signatures are a waste of bandwidth!" Therefore the holy purpose of AFW is to stamp out huge and silly signatures.

Signatures which follow the "Holy Rule of Signature Size" are thus conform to the "McQuary rule" and thus are called "McQ sigs" and "mcqsigs" for short. Some signatures include the word "McQ" to indicate a "true sig":

Bruce Tomlin

   _    Sir Bruce, K'niggit of Usenet  Tired: baseball cards
 _| ~-                  |    fnord      o=|===>         Wired: 2600 cartridges
 \, *_} <-- WINDCREST   |    "" - Helen Keller   February 23 1996: IT'S TIME!!
   \(                   |    Windows '95: "It Makes A Grown Man Cry"    | McQ!

Signatures are usually much too big. And they grew even bigger when Multi User Dungeons (MUDs) came up. MUDs are a form of role playing games (RPGs) which can be played on the computer with many people logging in from around the world. The basic theme of these games are the ancient medieval times, and you usually have to fight your way through it. Thus you need to be a good fighter: A real warlord!!

In MUDs you get all sorts of weapons - knives, daggers and swords. Big swords! The bigger the better! So fans of MUDs created signatures like this one:

Conan the Barbarian

                __________                         ._
             ./' .v~__,/~ _____   _____     _____   )~\      _____     _____
           ./  .(W---\| /',---.`\ |\./\     |\./|  / | \     |\./\     |\./|
          ,|  /(M.    ./././~\`\ \| |\ \    | | |././^\ \    | |\ \    | | |
\~b__________/$@|\------------\ \ \--\`\`\--| | |----^ \ \------\`\`\--| | |-.
 )@)$$$$$$$$($( )#H)===========) ) )==`\`\`\| | |=====\ \ \======`\`\`\| | |--)
/_p~~~~~~~~~~\$@|/------------/ / /-----`\`\\ | |------\ \ \-------`\`\\ | |-'
          `|  \(M`    `\ \`\_/ / /| | |   `\`\| | /'    \ \ \| | |   `\`\| |
           `\  `(B---/| \ `---' / |/^\|     \ | |/       \/^\\.^\|     \ | |
             `\  `?_~~`\_`~~~~~`  ~~~~~      )^\,\,      `~~~~~~~~      )^\,\,
               `~~~~~~~~~~                   ~~~~~~                     ~~~~~~
                        SWORD OF CONAN THE BARBARIAN

But if you think that this is a big one then check out the two crossed swords and the helmet!

Today "Warlording" describes the process of creating a post which ridicules atrocious signatures and of course signatures which are not "McQ". It has turned into an art form frequently used on Usenet, esp in the newsgroup "". A lot of things are said over and over again, so acronyms are used frequently. Consult the AFW TEA if you don't have a clue.

"Warlording" is frequently misunderstood as posting a signature to AFW. Saying that a "signature is bad, real bad, and lousy" just isn't enough. Those clueless twits think all they have to do is post a sig to AFW and have the IC do the work for them. AFW readers will tell you that YHNW (you have no warlord) and YKIYEI (you killed it, you eat it). Well, you really should LTBF (learn to be funny)!

Apart from these standard remarks those people will be flamed, humiliated, plonked into the kill file (in that order). If all this doesn't help then they will lose their sig and maybe even their account. Trust me, it is for their own good. And it's environmentally friendly, too.

The brave of heart, however, might take the risk to get free clues just by reading AFW for a while. Btw, this is always a good idea. Yes, it's not restricted to AFW. Actually, this was a free clue.

If you want to take part in creating "warlord posts" ("warlords" for short) then you are welcome to do so. However, you should posts only quality stuff to AFW, otherwise you will be told: BFYPW!. So you are requested to read AFW for a while before you post. CAVEAT: Do not fall for bait or trolls, otherwise you will be flamed, too!

And before you RUSH off to your editor to create the world's biggest sig - hold it! It's been done! Please do not start the "Signature Dick Size War" again as Kibo already has the Usenet's biggest penis^H^H^H^H^Hsignature. It is recognized as that and will *not* be warlorded!

And please remember the rule about the lengths: "The length of a man's signature is inverse to the length of his penis." There is a similar rule for women, but I forget.

Sven Guckes <>
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