The Robert Jordan Purity Test

Text by Mike "Sir MPS" Macchione,
HTML conversion by Bill Garrett

Instructions: Score 1 point for each yes.

MPS = Mad Passionate Sex, a term coined by Mike Macchione. If you can't figure out what it means, score yourself 100% and quit here.

Have You Ever:

kissed a Two Rivers girl/boy ?
had MPS with a TR girl/boy?
seen the Tinker's girls dance or danced like a Tinker Girl?
seen the Sa'sara or danced the Sa'sara for someone?
bathed in the Shienarian baths in mixed company?
been in an Aiel steam tent in Mixed company?
had sex with a forsaken?
...and enjoyed it?
...in a dream?
had MPS in T'a'r?
...and gotten pregnant?
spied on someone's dreams to see who they were interested in?
...and then watched the resulting show?
proclaimed yourself a False Dragon?
RTFM?
been mistaken for a Domani?
sheathed your "sword which is no sword" or had one sheathed in you?
entered an inn without understanding the name?
...but learned inside?
been bitten by a forsaken?
been accused of being a darkfriend?
actually been a darkfriend?
had MPS with someone who was a darkfriend?
had MPS with someone on the sole grounds that you suspected they were a darkfriend? (ie are you a darkfriend groupie?)
lied about being a darkfriend? (perhaps to gain the pleasures of a darkfriend groupie)
used a ter'angreal for sexual purposes?
had MPS with a Gray Man?
...and not realized until he/she was finished?
had MPS with a forsaken?
...who had recently changed sex?
fantasized about Bela?
cheated on an Acceptance test?
tried anything with some figs and mice?
attended a darkfriend social?
sniffed at someone or been sniffed at?
been Green Ajah or been bonded to a Green Ajah?
been Green Ajah or experience bondage to a Green Ajah?
played Maiden's Kiss?
...and won? (or is that lost?)
had MPS with someone as a result of Ji'e'toh?
managed to make someone gai'shain in order to have MPS with them?
debated over the differences between Mayeners and Domani?
been told to lie down and not think of something or someone?
been told that your family tree is more convoluted the Andor royal families'?
used an a'dam for other than its intended purpose?
participated in a Great Hoax?
written any stories containing multiple scenes of MPS?
had MPS with anyone who has written stories containing scenes of MPS
met Sir MPS?
ARE you Sir MPS?

To determine your purity score, multiply your number of yeses by 2 and subtract from 100. Anyone scoring under 80 should seek help immediately: send email and a nude photo to Sir MPS at ghesmiz@strauss.udel.edu

Back to the Jordan Fandom page

Bill Garrett, scoring about 58% on this test
garrett@cs.unc.edu