The Robert Jordan Purity Test
Text by Mike "Sir MPS" Macchione,
HTML conversion by Bill Garrett
Instructions: Score 1 point for each yes.
MPS = Mad Passionate Sex, a term coined by Mike Macchione. If
you can't figure out what it means, score yourself 100% and quit here.
Have You Ever:
To determine your purity score, multiply your number of yeses by 2 and
subtract from 100. Anyone scoring under 80 should seek help immediately:
send email and a nude photo to Sir MPS at firstname.lastname@example.org
- kissed a Two Rivers girl/boy ?
- had MPS with a TR girl/boy?
- seen the Tinker's girls dance or danced like a Tinker Girl?
- seen the Sa'sara or danced the Sa'sara for someone?
- bathed in the Shienarian baths in mixed company?
- been in an Aiel steam tent in Mixed company?
- had sex with a forsaken?
- ...and enjoyed it?
- ...in a dream?
- had MPS in T'a'r?
- ...and gotten pregnant?
- spied on someone's dreams to see who they were interested in?
- ...and then watched the resulting show?
- proclaimed yourself a False Dragon?
- been mistaken for a Domani?
- sheathed your "sword which is no sword" or had one sheathed in you?
- entered an inn without understanding the name?
- ...but learned inside?
- been bitten by a forsaken?
- been accused of being a darkfriend?
- actually been a darkfriend?
- had MPS with someone who was a darkfriend?
- had MPS with someone on the sole grounds that you suspected they were a darkfriend? (ie are you a darkfriend groupie?)
- lied about being a darkfriend? (perhaps to gain the pleasures of a darkfriend groupie)
- used a ter'angreal for sexual purposes?
- had MPS with a Gray Man?
- ...and not realized until he/she was finished?
- had MPS with a forsaken?
- ...who had recently changed sex?
- fantasized about Bela?
- cheated on an Acceptance test?
- tried anything with some figs and mice?
- attended a darkfriend social?
- sniffed at someone or been sniffed at?
- been Green Ajah or been bonded to a Green Ajah?
- been Green Ajah or experience bondage to a Green Ajah?
- played Maiden's Kiss?
- ...and won? (or is that lost?)
- had MPS with someone as a result of Ji'e'toh?
- managed to make someone gai'shain in order to have MPS with them?
- debated over the differences between Mayeners and Domani?
- been told to lie down and not think of something or someone?
- been told that your family tree is more convoluted the Andor royal families'?
- used an a'dam for other than its intended purpose?
- participated in a Great Hoax?
- written any stories containing multiple scenes of MPS?
- had MPS with anyone who has written stories containing scenes of MPS
- met Sir MPS?
- ARE you Sir MPS?
Back to the Jordan Fandom page
Bill Garrett, scoring about 58% on this test