DC Darkfriend Social
December 30, 1995
I was inordinately busy with work for two weeks after this social,
so I didn't have time to write down my recollections until long after
most of my recollections got de-recollected. The transcript below
is mostly Judy's account of the social. I've interspersed other
people's comments where appropriate.
A picture page is now ready. Unfortunately,
I do not have many pictures from this social. If you were at the social
and have some photos you'd be willing to lend to me (especially of the
toddler wrestling), please contact me.
<![CDATA[
The 29th after Christmas DC Darkfriend Social occurred on Dec. 30,
1995. We met at Chevy's in Pentagon Centre VA. Much had was fun by all.
...or something like that.
Those in attendance were:
Chris Dewey
Craig Levin (a fellow VSA)
Josh (What *is* your last name Josh? Grif?)
6 Hawks
5 Bill Garretts
Me
Sunny (or was that Stormi?)
Ivis Bohlen (we love you Ivis!!)
Melissa Horn
Melissa's friend Kim
Dennis Higbee
Brian Pastaboy
Novak of Novaks
Robert Crawford
Zaxxon (is this your real name?)
Matthew Christian (I type corrected. :) )
Chad Oilcan Orzel (beats 'buttplug')
Megan O'Neil
Pam Korda (FAQueen, long may she reign)
Joe Shaw (previous Keeper of the FAQ)
Mike Macchione (MPS Mike)
Brian Ferrenz
Brian's significant other
Jim Folsom (Corwin)
Mat Withonet Fisher
Ryan Bettens (great accent.)
This amounts to 26. Is this the largest social ever? The largest DC
one?
[Pam: Yes, there were so many people at this Social that we decided we
should rent a convention center for the next one. (The cost of tables,
you know...yes, bill, it is an old joke, but it's a goodun.) Yes,
Robert Jordan really WILL be at this one. Bad news is that you have to
pay $30-$40 to the convention organisers.]
Well, Sunny and I metro-ed in, which was quite an experience for us.
We saw Brian Pastaboy in the metro, and were hoping to follow him, but
he somehow alluded us. Fear of Warder drove him to it, methinks. We
then latched on to two men who were also going to Pentagon City. They
explained we could take the yellow line or the blue line... but the
blue line was much longer. When it came time to decide, we of course
took the shorter yellow line, and they... took the longer blue line.
We feared it might be that they did that to get away from us, but then
we saw the absurdity in that notion. No, the blue line must be more
scenic. Must be.
We arrived at the restaurant early for lunch, late for getting there
early. There were many people already there, who chanted in unison
"WHERE WERE YOU???". It was really quite charming.
[John adds: Excuse me. As the organizer and instigator of that cry,
it was, "Where the _fuck_ were you?" Get it right. This, in response
to being told that we all had to show up an hour early if we wanted to
see you, and you flouncing in about a half an hour late.]
[Judy responds: I sent out mail saying "I would be leaving early to
watch the Eagles game. Therefore, I'd be getting there early, around
1pmish". I never said anyone ELSE had to get there early. Sunny and I
would have been just fine by ourselves hanging out at the bar.]
Novak once tried to get our attention by doing some kind of odd
arm/hand gestures. Sunny noticed him, and said "Flailing men always
get my attention".
[John: It was an investigation into the use of semaphores to
communicate from one end of the table to another. It worked.]
Hawk asked if Joe Shaw would be attending. I said he never misses
Socials, at which point he walked in. Perfect timing Joe! (I do now
however recall that he once overslept and missed a Baltimore Social).
We moved on to our table(s). Did that constitute as one table or many?
I'm not sure we could afford that many tables if you have to count
them all separately...
Sunny and I sat next to Ivis who showed us lovely pictures of her trip
to England and Dublin. Emmet - you attended a DC DFS
photographically!!!
At one point, Sunny said she was a firm believer in Chad's manhood... or
a believer in Chad's... nevermind.
Sunny and I frightened the waiter. I got him alone and explained that
Sunny had a crush on him. She in turn got him alone and explained that
I was armed.
Josh took a picture of Ivis in the men's room. A fellow restaurant
patron sat outside of the restroom, watched the whole thing, and when
they were done, wished them a Happy New Year. Odd, huh?
The bathroom stalls were made out of Corrugated Steel. Pretty wild,
huh?
[John: Yeah, the decor was great. I walked in and started looking for
a trough, instead of a toilet.]
[Pam: There was also a giant picture of a beer on the ceiling of the
women's room. I can't say anything about the men's room.]
Novak had a pleasant little surprise. Megan, the Novak Groupie who
attended a social quite a while ago attended today and surprised John.
After we first met her, John thought we were kidding him about there
existing a Novak groupie. Well John - are you still a disbeliever??
[Pam: IIRC, she is an ex-novak groupie. She seems to have graduated to
Glamour-Goth-ness. It really is too bad Hawk missed her chance to get
a picture.]
[John notes: And Hawk actually complimented me on my attire, which
boggles my mind, and says little for Hawk's taste in clothing...]
Jim Folsom brought the book tFoH with him, and our waiter (the one
Sunny and I frightened) stopped and said "Hey - that's a good book".
So our waiter was even a DF!!
When Ryan showed up, I asked where his wife was. I thought she was
attending also. As I was sitting about 12 people away from Ryan, I
just asked those around me. They explained the she was back in the
hotel room, beings as she was 8-9 months pregnant. (Good thing she
stayed away, I thought. Meeting us might have induced labor!!). When I
went around to introduce myself to Ryan, I said I was sorry his wife
could not make it. He replied "Oh, she might come later". (Now I'm
picturing a 9 month pregnant woman navigating the metro system in a
strange city/country all by herself). Ryan said "She's just a bit
sick". I said, "Oh - isn't she pregnant?" Ryan laughed and said "Uh,
no". I said "Like 8-9 months?" At which Ryan said "Uh, no". "But they
told me she was...". At which point he said in his great Australian
accent "Oh, they were just being stupid".
[John: No, that was Ryan, scoring a critical failure on his Aussie to
English translation roll. Once more, we are separated by a common
language. The accent is cool, though. Had you actually stuck around,
Judy, you'd have met his wife. She and Ryan left early, but showed up
later in the other mall. "You people are _still_ here?"]
[Ryan explains: Yeah well, it was only talking with Melissa later on
did I realize that some colloquial sliped in. Thinking back, I did
think it a bit strange that people didn't comment at the time. I
would have expected someone to have said "I hope she's OK" or even,
"Why you bastard. You leave you wife dying in the hotel to come
here!" or something to that affect.]
[Melissa: Well, at my corner of the table, we all heard Ryan say "Oh,
she's crooked". That of course, gave rise to all kinds of speculation.
Is she a master criminal? Did he leave her tied up in a pretzel shape.
When grilled about it later on, Ryan said, "I did _not_ say that! I
said she was crook, which means she isn't feeling well!" Uh-huh Ryan,
whatever you say....]
John adds:
I think the capstone of the evening (and I'm sure it's been mentioned)
was the amatuer Toddler Wrestling show put on in the center of the
mall across the stree for us. About three or four little tykes were
playing in a raised, cordonned off area in the middle of the food
court. We noticed the games were getting rougher and rougher, and
finally one kid picked up the other and started twirling him around.
I started yelling, "Ooh! Ooh! A fireman's carry! C'mon, slam him!
SLAM HIM!! Okay, clothesline him! Get him, get him!" Then we _all_
started hooting and hollering and cheering the little kids on to
greater and greater fits of violence. Eventually, a Mall Kop showed
up, and cleared the kids out.
I thought the show was over, until Bill called out (in a moment of
sudden silence) "Hey, kick the guy with the goofy hat!!" and then
tried (and failed) to look innocent.
[Bill: I said, "Kick the dork with the hat!" Sadly, I don't think
anybody outside of our DF congregation heard.]
A real fight broke out some time later, at the far end of the food
court. I didn't see anything, and declined to stand up and look like
a tourist, but others claimed they saw flying chairs. People were
lined up on the balconies of the three upper tiers, watching the
little drama, and I was reminded forcibly of how much a mall can look
like a prison...
I theorize it was a bubble of evil.
And something I forgot to mention-- various women present were
apparently trying to test out their ability to successfully link
through <sniffing>.
I don't remember who all they collectively <sniffed> at, but the
responses ranged from a returning <snort> from myself all the way to
Dennis crumpling and burying his head in his hands. It's a terrible
thing, seeing a man gentled before your very eyes.
[Pam: We didn't gentle _anyone_. That requires channelling. We were
simply experimenting with sniff linkages--that Brown Ajah thing. It's
something that's never been done before, so it's not that surprising
that we weren't very good at it. I mean, look at how well Rand did
with channelling when he just started.]
[Joe: Considering how quickly Dennis recovered, I theorize that what
happened was the linked sniff depleted so much oxygen from the air
that he immediately passed out from asphyxiation, but recovered after
they ended the sniff and allow fresh air to fill the vacuum they had
created. This theory also explains why you were not effected, John.
You're so full of hot air that they weren't strong enough to effect
you, even linked.]
[Dennis: Only two things I can say about it. Firstly, I'm better now.
I think it was just a shield. And secondly, that's a terrible thing
to do to a newcomer. Wandering the wilds of DC, and braving the chaos
that was Chevy's (no Guinness or Bass) only to be sniffed at and
shielded at the bottle of a mall. Oh, the humanity!!]
Bill adds:
I don't think anybody mentioned the ice and pennies that Hawk was
throwing around. There were quite a few volleys.
And I don't think anybody else mentioned all the sitting-upon of laps
that happened. Hawk sat on my lap, Megan sat on my lap, Megan sat on
Dennis's lap, Megan sat on Novak's lap, Novak say on my lap, etc.
...And I'll have pictures to prove it all, after I have time to
digitize a few photos and run them through Photoshop.
Pam adds:
Before he left, Mike showed us his Big Juan.
When I got back to my car, before leaving, I discovered that somebody
(like it's hard to guess who) had put a Dragon's Fang on my car's
windscreen. I'm just glad it wasn't a parking ticket.
]]>
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Bill Garrett
garrett@cs.unc.edu