Subject: JORDAN: FAQE
From: [email-masked] (Michael Thompson)
Date: Wed, 16 Feb 1994 05:35:33 GMT
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written

This is the FAQE for the Wheel of Time where Foolishly Asked
Questions are Enterred.

FAQE NEWS

Yup, this thing is FAQE, alright.  I thank myself for composing it
singlehandedly and myself shall bear the blame.

WHAT'S UP WITH THE NAMES OF CHARACTERS?

What can we make of the names?  Mucho:

Thom                Moth -              his cloak flutters like
                                        the wings of a moth.

Rand                Darn -              the word exclaimed by the
                                        Dark One whenever Rand is
                                        mentioned.

Mat                 Tam -               Mat is Tam al Thor
                                        reborn.

Someshta            Shoe mats           Just what you need to
                                        wipe your feet on after
                                        trudging around in the
                                        fields after one of the
                                        Nym!

Aram                Rama                Although Aram took up a
                                        sword, and Rama a bow,
                                        and there has been no
                                        interaction between Aram
                                        and Egwene for several
                                        books, there must be some
                                        connection as Rama's wife
                                        was stolen by the demon
                                        Ravana and Elayne's
                                        mother was hoodwinked by
                                        Rahvin.  This is the sort
                                        of foreshadowing that
                                        Jordan employs which will
                                        undoubtedly be crystal
                                        clear in hindsight.

Ogier               Rogie               A tribute to the narrator
                                        of Julian May's galactic
                                        milieu books.  The ogier
                                        Loial is also writing the
                                        history of the events in
                                        the Wheel of Time, and
                                        may be presumed to be the
                                        storyteller whose words
                                        we read now.

Elayne Trakand      Nay, dark LA teen   Perhaps Elayne is not the
                                        goody two shoes she acts

Nynaeve al'Meara    Aye, real mean van  Nynaeve is always in the
                                        front, the van, and she
                                        is mean

Egwene al'Vere      new levee gear      Obviously, she must hold
                                        back the flood of evil

Perrin Aybara       Barney Ran, I Rap   Once again, a reference
                                        to the purple dragon and
                                        "the song."

Note that Lan and his cousin Isam are both data processing
acronyms!  This is another case where Jordan has borrowed from
urban mythology.

DID ANYONE PRONOUNCE "NYNAEVE" RIGHT BEFORE LOOKING IT UP IN THE
GLOSSARY?

No.

IS ROBERT JORDAN A PSEUDONYM?

Yes, as mentioned in RASFW, Robert Jordan is a pseudonym for David
Eddings.  When questioned, Mr. Eddings said he wanted to explore
the conflict between good and bad writing without alienating any
readers.

WILL THE SERIES EVER END?  WHAT NEXT?

Yes, Mr. Jordan already knows how it will end.  In a few more
books, he will finish it up.  Afterward, he will take some time off
to play major league baseball and then write a new series combining
his previous works.  In this series, Rand al'Thor and Belgarion
will discover that they live on the same world, and that each live
on continents conveniently unknown to the other.  They will
discover that the plots of the Wheel of Time and the Belgariad/
Malloreon were each just half of the true story.  The major
characters of each will combine (some will be discarded if there
prove to be too many names to keep track of) and meander around
even more previously unknown continents.  The first book will
probably be called _Demon Lord of Shayol Ghul_.  Eventually Robert
Silverberg will collaborate and the characters will wander around
in previously unknown countries meeting previously unknown alien
races each time they cross a rise in the land.

WHERE IS THE LAST SEAL?

In former days, seals were trained by the Sea Folk to balance small
replicas of the Wheel of Time (tm) on their noses.  The seals were
too busy doing this to reproduce, and face extinction.  The last
known seal was captured by the Seanchan and now juggles moons in
the Tower of Ravens.

WHAT ARE THE CHAPTER ICONS?

The little symbols at the top of the first page of each chapter. 
If you click on one, the chapter shrinks to a small square which
hides in the back near the glossary.

WHY MUST THE DARK ONE BE IMPRISONED?

When we read the story of how Lews Therin and the 100 companions
sealed up the bore carefully, we realize that this must be
interpreted literally.  The "Dark One" is actually an incredibly
tiresome conversationalist, i.e., a bore.  Anyone who talks to the
Dark One lapses into a stupor until the only thing loud enough to
awaken them, the Horn of Valere, is sounded.

WHAT IS THE SONG?

The Song goes like this:

I love you, You love me,
We're a happy family
With a great big hug 
and a kiss from me to you
Won't you say you love me too?

WILL THE SONG BE FOUND AND BY WHOM?

The song has been found, and can be seen on television where a
purple dragon named Barney holds court.  He uses the One Power to
force adolescents to act like small, stupid children.

WHAT DOES A DRAGON LOOK LIKE?

See for yourself.  For more information, subscribe to
alt.tv.dinosaur.barney.die.die.die.

WHO WERE THE AIEL?

The Aiel were a group of people dedicated to achieving maximum
economy in the use of letters in common spelling.  Aiel was
selected as their name for providing three syllables in just four
letters.  Over 3000 years, this has been forgotten, and now most
believe that the name comes from the sound made by most travellers
when an Aiel leaps out from behind a rock.

IS VERIN BLACK?

Maybe.  It's hard to tell from the descriptions.  In TSR she is
described as having brown hair.  Most black people have black hair,
but this alone is not conclusive.

WHY ISN'T ELAIDA BLACK?

Well, this is inconclusive also.  She is only described as having
dark eyes, so she might be.

WHAT DID THE OGIER DO OF OLD?

As tall as they are, they probably played a lot of basketball.  The
Ogier women often had successful careers in Beach Volleyball.  Some
teams were the Tsofu Toughguys, the Shangtai Tsunami, and the
Peking Mighty Ducks.

WHAT IS WITH THOSE COVERS BY DARREL SWEET?

Darrel Sweet does the covers for all of the Wheel of Time books. 
With the thousands of copies sold, it is no wonder that the covers
come loose so easily.  His telephone rings or something, he gets
distracted and doesn't apply the glue properly on the copy you
eventually buy, and the cover falls off.

DOES HEINLEIN APPEAR IN THE SERIES?

How did you miss it, I ask you?  Actually, all the characters in
the Wheel of Time, no matter how they are described, actually
reflect the mores and habits of middle-class American writers.

WHY DON'T WE START A NEW NEWSGROUP?

We don't really care about people who can't work kill files.  If
you are reading this FAQE intentionally, you don't care about a new
newsgroup either.  So there.

SPOILERS FOR THE FIRES OF HEAVEN:
^L

Why does Moiraine poke out Mat's eye with Rand's severed hand after
Mat gets her pregnant?  Apparently she was angry about the floods
Rand caused in Cairhien when he diverted the rivers to wipe out the
trollocs.

WHY IS MOIRAINE NOT DEAD?

There are two competing theories about this, neither of which has
any credibility or support:

1.   Moiraine will reappear as did Gandalf after killing the
     Balrog.  She will act mysterious and refuse to explain how she
     survived.  Of course, both Gandalf and Moiraine acted
     mysterious and refused to explain anything before their
     sacrifices.  As Gandalf becomes what Saruman should have been,
     Moiraine will become what Lanfear should have been.  Note the
     similarity between Moiraine and Mieren.

2.   Having sacrificed herself through the stone ter'angreal like
     Aslan on the stone table, giving herself willingly to the
     White Witch in place of Rand, she will find that death has
     worked backwards and she is more powerful than before.

WHAT IS THE TAMYRLIN?

An old folk song recorded by Fairport Convention.  In the story,
the hero is saved from the Faerie Queen by some girl who keeps
showing off her knees, and tries to tell people she got pregnant
from a rosebush.

WHO WILL MARRY MAT?

It seems that this old joke won't work.  I'd like to say, "a
preacher," but we saw in the Shadow rising when Perrin married
Faile that wedding ceremonies don't have anyone who officiates.

WHO WILL LAN BE BONDED TO NOW?

We've all agreed unanimously that Lan is bonded to Nynaeve.  Or
Myrelle.  Or to Moiraine.  Or to somebody whose name begins with a
nasal sound.

WHAT IS WITH ALL THIS SNIFFING BUSINESS?

Even after 3000 years, the dust kicked up by the breaking of the
world is still aggravating everyone's sinuses.  This sort of thing
occurs even today, where the Breaking of Southern California has
kicked up dust causing an increase in infant botulism.

IS THERE A CONNECTION BETWEEN MAT AND THE STOLEN DICE TER'ANGREAL?

No.  Although Mat feels no moral qualms about wagering in games of
chance that he never loses, he never actually steals anything these
days.

WHAT DOES EACH AJAH DO?

Brown     The brown Ajah seeks to corner the market for Trivial
          Pursuit games in the Fourth age.

White     Engages in philosophical arguments about how best to
          meddle in human politics.

Black     Meddles with human affairs, jockeying for position at the
          Dark One's coming out party.

Red       Meddle's in men's affairs, seeking revenge for permanent
          PMS.

Green     Meddles in human affairs (literally).  Also known as the
          free love Ajah.

Blue      Meddles on behalf of the light.

Yellow    Specializes in what we would call medicine.  Doesn't
          meddle much as long as they get Wednesdays off.

Gray      Arbitrates between the various other meddling factions.

Steely    Meddles with music.  Call them Deacon Blue.

East      Okay, this one's too obvious even for me.

WHAT IS THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE SEVERED HAND?

Eeww, gross.

WHO ARE THE BOOKS DEDICATED TO?

tEotW     Harriet
tGH       30-some people
tDR       James Oliver Rigney, Sr. (is this a clue, or what?)
tSR       Robert Marks
tFoH      Harriet

The Net detectives have not yet come up with an explanation as to
why tGH is dedicated to so many more people.  Did Mr. Jordan have
a lapse of faith in the series and figure he had to get all of his
dedications out of the way?  By the time tFoH was published, he had
to go back to Harriet again.  Inquiring minds want to know, to whom
will LoC be dedicated?

WHO ARE THE AELFS AND EELFS?

Annoying beings from another dimension.  When encountered, they
will answer questions or grant wishes, but as the price, they will
harass you until you trick them into saying their names backwards.

WHO KILLED ASMODEAN?

What evidence do we have that Asmodean is dead?  All it says is
that Death took him.  It doesn't say Death killed him!  With all
the personifications of good and evil running around in this
series, maybe Death is just someone who took him out to dinner at
one of the many fine inns in Caemlyn.

WHAT'S WITH SALDAEA?

Just because questions are asked doesn't mean they are all
answered.

WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I'M OBSESSED?

Get a haircut, and get a real job.

WHEN IS OUR NEXT BOOK ACQUISITION FEVER SYNDROME?

October or November, 1994.

WHAT'S WITH MAT DYING AND LIVING AGAIN, ETC.

Mat's a somewhat annoying and not very effective character.  The
author keeps trying to get rid of him, but he's popular with the
fans.  Every scene where he's killed off, a group of fans will show
up, wearing red head bands, carrying jewelled daggers, and waving
oversize dice cups.  Mr. Jordan has no choice but to put him back
into action.

-- 
Michael Thompson
Castle Morgno
[email-masked]