From: michaelo@TERADYNE.COM
Subject:      Astral Mechanix and Jumping Chinese.
Message-ID: <9301111631.AA21428@lll-winken.llnl.gov>
Date:         Mon, 11 Jan 1993 06:46:52 PST
Humorous Late Breaking News From _Skeptic_ [Vol 1 No 3]
A publication of the Skeptics Society (Los Angeles).

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Psychic Car Repair.
In Los Angeles (where else?) you can now get your car repaired through
an "Astral Mechanix" that "employs computer-assisted search technologies
to cast a full astrological profile of your car based on the time it
left the manufacturer" (using the engine block number).  That and,
presumably, a modest fee, leaves you with a set of instructions on
"psychic healings for your car, most of which can be performed by the
layman in the privacy of his own garage without even opening the hood."
Dial 213/937-2759 for the Astral Mechanix nearest you.  Tune-Up Master
look out!
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It's interesting to note how the paranormalist buzz-words crash headlong
into the technical phrases.

Pure advertising genius.
[ Like the Rabbit Ears TV antenna for sale in american magazines that
  "Pulls signals right out of the air!  No cable or satellite needed!"
  (Consumer Reports said it worked about as good as a coat hanger)   ]


Also of note:
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The tabloid headline of the year (according to Skeptic) goes to the
National Enquirer for their announcement: CHINA'S BIZARRE PLOT TO KNOCK
EARTH OUT OF ORBIT.  "If everybody in China jumped up and down at the
same time they would knock our Earth out of orbit...." [...] "the forces
generated when 1.3 billion jump up and down will break the Earth free of
the Sun's gravitational pull and send us sailing off into space like a
pinball machine that never stops."
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Of course they have scholarly experts to back this up.


Just some light reading from Mike. :]
--
Mike Outmesguine                         "Oh No! We've got Movie Sign!!"
michaelo@teradyne.com                                       -Joel, MST3K