Date: Sun, 18 Apr 1999 14:15:24 -0700 From: Seth David Schoen To: crackmonkey@zork.net Subject: [crackmonkey] The famous zinc haiku collection X-Uptime: 1:16pm up 54 days, 16:42, 8 users, load average: 1.40, 1.24, 1.20 X-Whereami: see http://ishmael.geecs.org/~sigma/where.html X-Alternate-URL: http://crackmonkey.org X-OS-Rules: Linux Rules X-OS-Sucks: Windows Sucks There is a larger story behind these, but the only detail I know for sure is that there is an ancient tradition on soda.csua.berkeley.edu of writing haiku about zinc, perhaps dating to this exchange: ----- Forwarded message ----- Boredcast Message from 'ausman': Mon Dec 11 13:55:24 1995 reformatted disks make sodalite weep loudly give us /usr10 Boredcast Message from 'blojo': Mon Dec 11 13:56:29 1995 Rice paddy peasant Works all day to make the paste Paste that's white like zinc Boredcast Message from 'erich': Mon Dec 11 13:57:01 1995 new law on soda all walls must be zinc haiku or else account gone Boredcast Message from 'blojo': Mon Dec 11 13:58:19 1995 Angel Lucifer Banished to the netherworld For his love of zinc Boredcast Message from 'agee': Mon Dec 11 13:54:51 1995 Bootleg cassette tape Poor recording media Zinc oxide is crap. Boredcast Message from 'peterm': Mon Dec 11 13:58:41 1995 Ancient promethius, daily bereft of his liver, he gave zinc to mankind. Boredcast Message from 'blojo': Mon Dec 11 14:01:55 1995 Starry Bethlehem, Beware prophets bearing gold, Frankincense and zinc. Boredcast Message from 'agee': Mon Dec 11 14:00:49 1995 Christmastime is here Snow falls, peacefully, slowly On great cliffs of zinc. Boredcast Message from 'geordan': Mon Dec 11 14:02:28 1995 make it stop! no more! make it go away now, please! I can't take much more! Boredcast Message from 'aspolito': Mon Dec 11 14:01:56 1995 five syllable line rain falls like the fallout clous ob zinc referance Boredcast Message from 'agee': Mon Dec 11 14:03:24 1995 Geordan does not know The true meaning of the zinc Perhaps he can learn Boredcast Message from 'blojo': Mon Dec 11 14:04:22 1995 Waiting on the dock Shipment from Colombia Twelve kilos of zinc Boredcast Message from 'agee': Mon Dec 11 14:04:31 1995 Walling dark dungeons Like zinc on a hot tin roof Poem makes no sense Boredcast Message from 'geordan': Mon Dec 11 14:03:47 1995 zinc has weight 30 its symbol is Zn now will you all leave? Boredcast Message from 'peterm': Mon Dec 11 14:04:04 1995 falling from the sky, radioactive fallout, zinc dust in the wind Boredcast Message from 'blojo': Mon Dec 11 14:05:55 1995 Evil Fu Manchu Plans to terrorize the world, Stealing all the zinc. Boredcast Message from 'geordan': Mon Dec 11 14:05:54 1995 zinc after copper though but before gallium above cadmium. Boredcast Message from 'agee': Mon Dec 11 14:06:29 1995 Mean Darth Vader said, I find your lack of faith dis- Turbing. What a zinc! Boredcast Message from 'scotsman': Mon Dec 11 14:05:59 1995 walls getting pointless when it ends once and for all I'll be truly glad Boredcast Message from 'aaron': Mon Dec 11 14:07:25 1995 no zinc refernece Boredcast Message from 'scotsman': Mon Dec 11 14:07:40 1995 Um... Signed by Zinc Tungsten. Boredcast Message from 'blojo': Mon Dec 11 14:07:07 1995 Daniel Holliman Does not know that Gilman St is a zinc haven Boredcast Message from 'geordan': Mon Dec 11 14:07:42 1995 this has naught about that wondrous element i could avoid. zinc. Boredcast Message from 'blojo': Mon Dec 11 14:08:11 1995 Gilman Street Restrooms Contain no rolls of toiletry, Force you to use zinc Boredcast Message from 'scotsman': Mon Dec 11 14:08:11 1995 Toilet paper hurts When it's made of zinc it's worse But Charmin wins out. Boredcast Message from 'ausman': Mon Dec 11 14:07:21 1995 seven hundred K it turns to liquid river hot has hell that zinc Boredcast Message from 'peterm': Mon Dec 11 14:10:02 1995 blojo and erich, pinned to wooden crosses, nailed up there with zinc. Boredcast Message from 'blojo': Mon Dec 11 14:11:03 1995 Mankind's big project, Virtual reality, Building worlds of zinc Boredcast Message from 'agee': Mon Dec 11 14:11:31 1995 Boyhood memories Tonka fire engine. Vroom! Made of steel, zinc. Boredcast Message from 'geordan': Mon Dec 11 14:11:05 1995 more than twenty grams ev'ry centimeter cubed and it's a metal. Boredcast Message from 'danh': Mon Dec 11 14:13:22 1995 Fall rain comes gently pond ripples with falling leaves fingers drop like stones. Boredcast Message from 'blojo': Mon Dec 11 14:13:25 1995 "Heal me, Jesus" Says the leper as his nose Falls into the zinc Boredcast Message from 'peterm': Mon Dec 11 14:13:30 1995 pincushiond blojo, impaled with many zinc spikes, finally speechless. Boredcast Message from 'ausman': Mon Dec 11 14:12:40 1995 meaning of word zinc comes from a German word "Zink" origin obscure Boredcast Message from 'aspolito': Mon Dec 11 14:12:48 1995 coating outdoor nails protection from winter's rains zinc useful for all Boredcast Message from 'chiapet': Mon Dec 11 14:12:05 1995 most precious, i think its mere thought turns me all pink don't throw knives at zinc Boredcast Message from 'geordan': Mon Dec 11 14:13:53 1995 nuclear weapons cause total mass destruction fusion into zinc. Boredcast Message from 'danh': Mon Dec 11 14:14:18 1995 melted brie is yum but it tastes much better when i stir with his tongue Boredcast Message from 'blojo': Mon Dec 11 14:15:38 1995 World War II shortage Housewives donate pots and pans Get zinc to the troops Boredcast Message from 'aspolito': Mon Dec 11 14:15:19 1995 wrintg hiku on zinc is easier than doing work. procrastinate. Boredcast Message from 'saarp': Mon Dec 11 14:17:29 1995 zinc zinc zinc zinc zinc. zinc zinc zinc zinc zinc zinc zinc. zinc zinc zinc zinc zinc. Boredcast Message from soda!aspolito (ttyqo) at 14:17 ... no zinc referance well, except for the first one you can't hide from zinc Boredcast Message from soda!peterm (ttys0) at 14:17 ... geordan is writhing, moaning so pitifully, molten gold coats him. Boredcast Message from soda!agee (ttyqz) at 14:19... You say, "What is life?" Before you answer that, ask Yourself "What is zinc?" Boredcast Message from soda!geordan (ttysy) at 14:19 ... enough about zinc. it's time for telebears now. sign up for classes. Boredcast Message from soda!blojo (ttypX) at 14:19... Important warning: DO NOT TAUNT HAPPY FUN ZINC Or you'll regret it. Boredcast Message from soda!scotsman (ttyqD) at 14:20 ... Zinc is the only element you can use as a conditioner. Boredcast Message from soda!aspolito (ttyqo) at 14:21 ... life is but fleating but zinc, zinc last forever trust your life in zinc Boredcast Message from soda!saarp (ttyqw) at 14:21 ... haiku haiku hai- ku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku zinc. Boredcast Message from soda!blojo (ttypX) at 14:21... Mohandas Gandhi Went on many hunger strikes, Always ate his zinc. Boredcast Message from soda!scotsman (ttyqD) at 14:21 ... Molten zinc is fun to give to a child at a small playground. Boredcast Message from soda!agee (ttyqz) at 14:22... Haiku about zinc Can become old really fast. Woe to those annoyed. Boredcast Message from soda!aspolito (ttyqo) at 14:23 ... Pulp Finction has drugs, hamburgers and violence. but it lacks the zinc Boredcast Message from soda!scotsman (ttyqD) at 14:23 ... Those who are annoyed should have zinc in their diets or at least fiber. Boredcast Message from soda!blojo (ttypX) at 14:23... What do you expect, When you go throughout your life Never touching zinc? Boredcast Message from soda!mehlhaff (ttypA) at 14:25... walling zinc haiku is a sign of great boredom just go get a life ! Boredcast Message from soda!peterm (ttys0) at 14:23 ... in Hamburg's hot fires, molten zinc flowed fast downhill, forming hot rivers. Boredcast Message from soda!lwall (1?console) at 14:25... From: Akasha I once made pennies coating them in lab with zinc some gold, some silver. Boredcast Message from soda!geordan (ttysy) at 14:25 ... the power of zinc is strong. I got in all of my classes today. Boredcast Message from soda!blojo (ttypX) at 14:26... Letters & Science Has such strict requirements Can't pass without zinc. Boredcast Message from soda!geordan (ttysy) at 14:27 ... I break free of your chains! I write in jagged form like e e cummings Boredcast Message from soda!chiapet (ttysB) at 14:26 ... zinc is in my blood zinc sustains my beating heart when pricked, i bleed zinc Boredcast Message from soda!blojo (ttypX) at 14:27... Byzantine Problem When to synchronize, attack Capture all the zinc Boredcast Message from soda!blojo (ttypX) at 14:28... Superconductive Crystal lattice finely tuned Quantum Zincanics Boredcast Message from soda!scotsman (ttyqD) at 14:29 ... zinc haikus are scarce except on the walls of soda where zinc reigns supreme Boredcast Message from soda!geordan (ttysy) at 14:29 ... insanity, like zinc, runs rampant through soda's mindless, hopeless walls. Boredcast Message from soda!blojo (ttypX) at 14:30... Figlet the word 'zinc' Watch it fill your CRT Lovely ASCII art Boredcast Message from soda!geordan (ttysy) at 14:31 ... I've had enough zinc. I'm going to fail physics. Try to learn quantum. Boredcast Message from soda!blojo (ttypX) at 14:32... L. Ron Hubbard wrote Dianetics' secret code Teaching about zinc Boredcast Message from soda!blojo (ttypX) at 14:41... Twin Peaks finale David Lynch's twisted dream Zinc allegory Boredcast Message from soda!ausman (ttysE) at 14:43... ari cannot die until most wonderful sense surrounded by zinc Boredcast Message from soda!blojo (ttypX) at 14:44... Christian communion Holy wafer made of zinc Put it on your tongue. Boredcast Message from soda!blojo (ttypX) at 14:45... Posting news is fun Erotica - dot - sensual Don't forget - dot - zinc Boredcast Message from soda!geordan (ttysu) at 14:46 ... it is most complete from a to the last one, zinc we call it Centrum. Boredcast Message from soda!ausman (ttysE) at 14:46... wear a zinc helmet protect your most priceless head die in style at least Boredcast Message from soda!blojo (ttypX) at 14:49... Superhero flees X-ray vision, gift of flight Powers blocked by zinc Boredcast Message from soda!blojo (ttypX) at 14:50... Ivory soap is pure, Ninety-nine point forty-four Undefiled zinc Boredcast Message from soda!aspolito (ttyqo) at 14:50 ... need larger title zinc will not help me at all latex is cryptic Boredcast Message from soda!blojo (ttypX) at 14:51... "Barefoot in the Park"? Neil Simon sucks my dick. He should write of zinc. Boredcast Message from soda!blojo (ttypX) at 14:59... TV commercial "Zinc it does a body good" I will grow up strong. Boredcast Message from soda!blojo (ttypX) at 15:01... Look, here is your brain. Now here is your brain on zinc. Any questions, kid? Boredcast Message from soda!blojo (ttypX) at 15:06... Perfect tokyo time Must by cheap zinc umbrella Ward off acid rain Boredcast Message from soda!blojo (ttypX) at 15:06... ^by^buy Boredcast Message from soda!geordan (ttysu) at 15:06 ... blojo needs whipping take a zinc whip and flog him over and over Boredcast Message from soda!scotsman (ttyqD) at 15:07 ... a cat of nine tails made completely out of zinc lands on your back thrice. Boredcast Message from soda!scotsman (ttyqD) at 15:07 ... Okay, all walls must contain a reference to zinc and to whips. Boredcast Message from soda!blojo (ttypX) at 15:09... Bubbling molten zinc Pours across my naked skin Pain strikes like a whip Boredcast Message from soda!scotsman (ttyqD) at 15:09 ... zinc whips are fun for flogging, beating and other assorted actions Boredcast Message from soda!geordan (ttysu) at 15:10 ... walls must have at least four references to James Bond movies and praseodymium. Boredcast Message from soda!blojo (ttypX) at 15:11... Jaws shoots violin Praseodymium gun Diamonds forever Boredcast Message from soda!chiapet (ttysB) at 15:18 ... contractor from hell did not document his zinc work has fallen off Boredcast Message from soda!blojo (ttypX) at 15:20... Life-threatening choice Which door will he open up, Tiger or the Zinc? Boredcast Message from soda!chiapet (ttysB) at 15:21 ... Boredcast Message from 'erich': Mon Dec 11 11:15:35 1995 tongue on clitoris i savour my lover's zinc starry autumn night Boredcast Message from 'erich': Mon Dec 11 11:14:24 1995 i like plastic glocks kalashnikov's rifle to shoot i need zinc Boredcast Message from 'erich': Mon Dec 11 11:17:46 1995 zinc in my bloodstream gluconeogenesis endless flow of life -blojo Boredcast Message from soda!chiapet (ttysB) at 15:24 ... there is no zinc here there is no zinc at my job there is a large void Boredcast Message from soda!blojo (ttypX) at 15:26... Headbanging music Play it really fucking loud I love Nine Inch Zinc Boredcast Message from soda!scotsman (ttyqD) at 15:34 ... Saar sleep in pooled zinc Breathes in the noxious fumes and lives to repeat it. Boredcast Message from soda!jon (ttypM) at 16:39 ... ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! ZINC! Boredcast Message from soda!blojo (ttypX) at 16:40... Fifteen years from now Zinc is standard currency Rich society ----- End forwarded message ----- -- Seth David Schoen They said look at the light we're giving you, / And the darkness that we're saving you from. -- Dar Williams, "The Great Unknown" http://ishmael.geecs.org/~sigma/ (personal) http://www.loyalty.org/ (CAF) ===================================================================== To unsubscribe, send a message to majordomo@zork.net saying "unsubscribe crackmonkey" in the body of the message.