Dialogue from TV series "Pinky and the Brain" season 1, episode 48, entitled "You Said a Mouseful", originally aired 14 November 1997, written by Gordon Bressack. Brain: The recalibration of the infindibulum capacitor is dependant upon.... Grrr. The uh, the ratio of the formula of H2O plus the square root of the uh.... That sound, it's incessant! Lab Assistant: Heh, I'll get it. Brain: Bah! What sort of idiot would waste away his life on such utter mindlessness? Oof! Pinky: Haha, it's loads of fun, Brain, and just a trifle painful. Brain: Ask a stupid question.... Pinky: Narf! Alright, Brain. Why do they call it lunch? Brain: I have no idea, Pinky, except that you are out to it! Now go away before I am forced to add the weight of an eraser to your head! Wait! That's it! the weight of an eraser subtracted from the.... They're doing it again. TV Announcer: Yes, they're doing it in Lapland. They're doing it in Brazil. They're even doing it in Washington, D.C. Kicky Sack! Everyone's doing it. Kicky Sack, the sensation that kicks fun into high gear. Just pump up your official Kicky Sack sack kickers, and kick off. Kids in commercial: It's a kick! TV announcer: Kicky Sack, from Socko! Kicky Sack sack kickers and khaki socks sold separately. Pinky: It's my favorite commercial. I like it even better than that commercial where they have all those bland people with big, strange hair. Brain: I've told you before, Pinky. That isn't a commercial; it's CNN. Pinky: Narf! Imagine my chagrin. Brain: This is the Axis Shiftatron, a device that will alter the earth's axis by one-millionth of a percent, causing a shift in weather patterns, resulting in one less day of rain everywhere in the world, except for Los Angeles. Even that tiny change in weather patterns will have a catastrophic effect on coffee bean crops. This will force everyone to switch to tea drinking. Pinky: Annnnd...? Brain: What do you mean, "and"? Pinky: Well, "but" or "if" seemed inappropriate. Brain: [sigh] And this ray will destroy every tea bag in the world -- except mine. As the owner of the world's only tea bag, I will rise to prominence! Pinky: That's brilliant, Brain! Oh, you're so amazing. You know, I tried to move the earth yesterday, and it was really, really heavy. Brain: Actually, Pinky, in your naivete, you've stumbled upon a slight snafu. The only way the Axis Shiftatron can successfully change the earth's axis, is if the earth suddenly loses weight! Pinky: Poit! What if everyone on the earth went on a diet? Brain: Diets don't work. Pinky: Even if you call them a whole new way of eating? Brain: No. You might as well ask everyone on earth to pump helium into their shoes, and suspend themselves in mid-air long enough for me to implement the Axis Shiftatron. [...] Pump helium.... That's it! Pinky! Are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so, Brain, but then my name would be Thumby. Brain: In a perfect world, your name would be Dummy! We will sneak into the Socko Kicky Sack sack kicker factory, and alter their assembly line so that the air being pumped into the Kicky Sack sack kickers will be replaced by helium gas, causing millions of Kicky Sack sack kickers to rise into the air, thus lifting thousands of people off of the earth. And then... Pinky: Tea time! Waaah! [Our heroes are outside the factory.] Brain: I must study the operation of the Hackensack Socko Kicky-Sack Sack Kicker Factory in detail, Pinky. Pinky: But Brain, how will we, two small mice, convince the huge owner to let us inspect his enormous factory? B: We will introduce ourselves as the only thing guaranteed to gain the respect of any American businessman: Japanese industrialists, seeking to buy the company. [They enter the building.] B: Now, remember, I am Mr. Kawasaki, and you are Mr. Hayasaka. Kurt Sackett: Welcome to the Hackensack Socko Kicky-Sack Sack Kicker Factory. I'm Kurt Sackett, senior supervisor. Can I help you? B: Yes. We are two tiny Japanese industrialists, seeking to buy this company. I am Mr. Kawasaki.... P: ...And I am Mr. ...uh... Turkey-Lurky. B: Turkey-Lurky? Isn't it Mr. Hayasaka? P: Where? Poit! Hmm, I must have missed him. KS: I am honoured by your visit. Let me show you our assembly line. First, sheets of sheer synthetic sheepskin are slit into several Kicky-Sack shoe shapes in shapely shoe sizes by six sitting sheet slitters. B: I only see five sitting sheet slitters. KS: The sixth sitting sheet slitter's sick. His son Sammy's subbing 'til the sick sixth sitting sheet slitter's back, sitting pretty. P: You're not the sheet slitter? S: No, I'm the sheet slitter's son. P: Well.... You keep on slitting sheets until the sheet slitter comes. Haheheheh! Whooohaaah. [View of a machine labelled "Sheet Slitter Shoe Shaper".] KS: The Shoe Shaper then shapes the slit synthetic sheepskin sheets, and shoots out shoes through the chute. KS: Now, this is Mr. Plunkett, the new khaki sock plucker. (I had to fire our previous sock plucker. He had a bit of an attitude.) B: So, you sacked the cocky khaki Kicky-Sack sock plucker? KS: The second cocky khaki Kicky-Sack sock plucker I sacked since the sixth sitting sheet slitter got sick. [Lights dim. Machine whirs and slows down.] KS: Whoops! Don't worry; just an electrical problem. One of the Kicky-Sack sack pickers will have to flick the plug. P: Not the khaki sock plucker? KS: Oh, _my_, no! The Kicky-Sack sack pickers flick the plug. The khaki sock plucker can't reach the socket over the latex child perambulator fenders we use to line the treadmill. B: It might make more sense to have the sixth sitting sheet slitter's son flick the plug, if the sack pickers and the sock pluckers are behind the rubber baby buggy bumpers. [Sammy flicks the plug. Everything whirs back up.] KS: I never thought of that! B: Of course, you didn't. Sack Picker#1: That is one smart fellow! He felt smart! [Pinky bounces past on the conveyor belt, inside a Kicky-Sack shoe.] P: Whaahhahah! Zart! Sack Picker#2: Two smart fellows! They felt smart! [View of a toy boat mounted on the wall. Plaque below it says "1st Prize. Hackensack Socko Kicky-Sack Sack Kicker Khaki Sock Factory Room Annual Picnic."] B: And what, pray tell, is this? KS: Oh, this is the toy boat I won in the sack race at the Hackensack Socko Kicky-Sack Sack Kicker Khaki Sock Factory picnic in Secaucus. [The move further down the conveyor-belt line.] KS: And finally, the Socko Kicky-Sack Sack Kickers are inflated by our genuine Parker Packard pewter pressure pump. P: Look, Brain! I mean, Mr., um, Turkey-Lurky. It's purple! B: I'm Kawasaki, Pinky. You're Turkey-Lurky. P: Well, I don't think that's a very nice thing to say about a person. [Brain grabs Pinky by the snout, stifles him.] B: I've seen all I need to see of the Hackensack Socko Kicky-Sack Sack Kicker Factory. [To Pinky:] Pinky, we must take our leave, and sneak back under cover of nightfall. [They walk into a large pair of shoes.] Both: Pe-fwoooah. [They fall, breath knocked out of them. They look up, and up, and up, at the unsmiling face of the factory guard.] KS: I see you've met the Hackensack Socko Kicky-Sack Sack Kicker Factory's security specialist, Peggy Babcock. No one gets past her. B: Peggy Babcock... Peggy Babcock... Peggy Babcock. Why does that name sound familiar? [She picks them up, raises them to in front of her unfriendly face.] P: Oh, I think I know! Peggy picked a peck of pickled peppers. [Peggy growls. Dissolve to Acme Labs, night.] B: This is it, Pinky. P: Our supper, Brain? B: No, Pinky. This pea contains a single helium element. Once this pea is added to the Hackensack Socko Kicky-Sack Sack Kicker Factory assembly line, every Socko Kicky-Sack Sack Kicker will fill with helium the first time it is inflated. Now, Pinky, here is the plan. Remember, every step must be performed with precision! You must slit the sixth sick sheet slitter's son's sheet, secure it next to the toy boat from the Hackensack Socko Kicky-Sack Sack Kickers' picnic in Secaucus, stretch it past the sack pickers' station and the sock plucker's chute, and pick a sack, pluck a sock, and flick the plug, so I can put the pea in the plucked sock with the picked sack for ballast and bounce it off the rubber baby buggy bumper, into the Parker Packard purple pewter pressure pump. Is that understood? P: I understood "Now", and "Pinky". [Brain covers his face. Cut to the Hackensack Socko Kicky-Sack Sack Kicker Factory. They're climbing in through the Night Deposit slit.] P: Tra-lalala! B: Pinky, quiet! [Brain throws a lever to start the conveyor belt.] B: I must be fooling myself. This will never work. P: Oh, why not, Brain? All I have to do is slit the sixth sick sheet slitter's son's sheet, and secure it next to the toy boat, from the Hackensack Socko Kicky-Sack Sack Kickers' picnic in Secaucus, speed it past the sack picker and the sock plucker, and pick a sack, pluck a sock, and flick a plug. B: Why, yes, Pinky! That was perfect! P: Poit! Yes, and I have no idea what it means! B; [sighs] Then, just listen to me. I will shout out each step. P: All right, Brain. And I shall watch out for Peggy Babcock. B: Peggy Babcock? P: Peggy Babcock! Where? Both: Whaaaah! [Pinky and Brain run, collide. The pea goes flying up, then falls and hits Brain hard on his head, which develops a lump. He staggers.] B: Ohhhhh. Now, Pinky, schlit the seat. P: Which seat? B: The schlick shick sleet schlitter's schleet. P: Beg pardon? B: Oh, I'll do it. [Brain takes the pea, and unrolls a sheet down the surface of the fast-moving convey er belt, towards the dangerous-looking blades of the Sheet Slitter Shoe Shaper. He looks up, alarmed.] B: Troy boit! Tow boot! Toy beat! P: Narf! What's a boit, and where should I tow it? [He's sitting on top of the toy boat.] B: Yeee--owww. [Pinky is barely eluding the blades.] B: Plick the flug! I mean flee the flack. P: Trowt! How will I know what he means by that? B: Yeee--owwwww. Ow. Ooh. Eee. Aw. Ummm. [Brain goes through the Sheet Slitter Shoe Shaper, emerging peeking out from a newly constructed Kicky-Sack shoe. He peers ahead, and is again alarmed.] B: Blinky! Bluck the flig! [A mechanical arm comes down and puts a sock over his head.] P: Are you OK up there, Brain? Is your plan thingie going well? [Brain's head emerges from the sock.] B: Pig the flick! I mean, flog the plu.... [A rod stuffs him back into the shoe with a rubber ball. P: I suppose I should take that as a "No." Narf! [Brain pops the ball off, and jumps out of the shoe, terrified.] B: Ahhh-hahh! Not the rugger booby biggy boopers! Yahhhh! [He's bounced off the walls, several times, landing flat on his back in the middle of the conveyor belt, stunned. Ahead is the Parker Packard pewter pressure pump, and its filler nozzle. Brain is rolling right under the latter. B: Oh no. [Filler nozzle comes down onto Brain's mouth. He inflates with helium, rises, opens his mouth, and whizzes around the factory, landing on the nose of....] B: Pebby Bagbop! Yawwww! [Falls to the floor. Pinky walks over to him.] P: Poit! Is that Gaelic, or something? B: Piggy Bigbop! P: Oh, I know! It's some sort of greeting! Well, piggy bigbop to you, too! [Peggy Babcock picks them both up, grinning ferociously. Cut to them flying out through the factory window, landing just outside the gates. Both: Yaawwwww! P: Oh, no, Brain. Trows! You forgot your pea. B: Oh, never mind about that, Pinky. We must get back to the lab, to prepare for tomorrow night. P: Poit! What are we going to do, tomorrow night, Brain? Try to sell seashells at the seashore? B: No, Pinky. The same thing we do every night; try to wake over the turld! [They start walking away.] [Cast is singing the closing theme song:] They're Binky, they're Binky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain. No, wait a second, Wait. It's Brinky and.... No. No. No, I've got it; I've got it. Pinky, Pinky and the Bain. [Breaks out laughing. Pinky and the Brain stop walking, pause.] No, that's not it. Stinky and the Crane. Oh no. Peggy Babcock, Peggy Babcock, Peggy Babcock. Rubber baby buggy bumpers. She sells seashells, she sells seashells, she sells seashells.... I did it! [Pinky and the Brain turn around, stare back.] {something} sixth sheet slitter's son. Am I getting that right? Sixth... sixth.... [Brain starts tapping his feet.] Aw, man! Oh, God, how many takes is.... That's not easy! I quit. [Pinky and the Brain turn around again. Fade out.]