Captain Queeg goes into a harbor bar with his pet octopus and
says "I'll bet $50.00 that no one here has a musical instrument
that this here octopus can't play."  The people in the bar look
around, and someone fetches out an old mandolin.

The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes it, and starts playing a
few choruses of "Rawhide."  Captain Queeg quickly pockets the
fifty bucks.

The next bar patron comes up with a trumpet. The octopus takes
the horn, loosens up the keys, licks its chops and starts playing
"Stella By Starlight." Yet another $50 is handed over to the
smiling captain.

The bar owner has been watching all of this and disappears into
the back room, returning a few minutes with a set of bagpipes
under his arm.   He puts them on the bar and says to the captain
and his octopus, "Now, I'll bet you a hundred dollars your damn
octopus can't play that!"

The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over,
has another look from a different angle and then starts the
process over again.

Puzzled, the captain comes over to the octopus and asks, "What
are you waiting around for? Hurry up and play the damn thing!"

"Play it, hell!" frowned the octopus. "As soon as I figure out how to
get her pajamas off, we're outta here!"