An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his
paintings on display at that time. "I have good news and bad news," the
owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work
and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death."
 
"When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."
 
"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. 
 
"What's the bad news?"
 
"The guy was your doctor..."
 
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A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete
checkup. Afterward the doctor comes out with the results.

"I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying,
and you don't have much time left."
 
"Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?"

"Ten," the doctor says sadly.

"Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!"

"Nine..."