Subject: The Ultimate Chain Letter
From: Michael Nelson <[email-masked]>
To: [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked]
Date: Tue, 22 Sep 1998 21:54:46 +0000 ( )

Hello, my name is Alfonso Merkin. I am suffering from a rare and deadly
diseases, poor scores on final exams, lack of sexual activity, fear of being
kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not sending out
50 billion fucking forwards sent to me by people who actually believe that
if you send them, that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with lung cancer
brought on by second-hand smoke from the cigarettes smoked by the big bad
men who kidnapped her and took pornographic pictures of her for use on their
child pornography web site will get 6 fucking cents every time you send me
the letter.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone
you send "his" email to $1000? How fucking stupid are you? Ooooh, looky
here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every
Victoria's Secret model in the catalog!  What a bunch of bullshit. So
basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people out there who
have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and
sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by
Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the
Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book
of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. Fuck
them.

If you're going to forward something, at least send something mildly
amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and
this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel
from some "omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't fucking care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing
to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.

-Please forward this to at least 50 of your best friends!

--
		 "Life is not a dress rehearsal" -- unknown

Michael Nelson             San Francisco, CA             [email-masked]