Here are the "true" meanings behind some of the sales phrases you
might hear being said by some of the "other" computer companies:

      SOFTWARE ENGINEERING GLOSSARY OF PRODUCT TERMINOLOGY

ALL NEW....................Software is not compatible with previous version.

NEW........................Different colors from previous version.

EXCLUSIVE..................We're the only one who has documentation.

UNMATCHED..................Almost as good as the competition.

DESIGN SIMPLICITY..........Developed on a shoe-string budget.

FOOLPROOF OPERATION........All parameters are hard-coded.

ADVANCED DESIGN............Upper management doesn't understand it.

IT'S HERE AT LAST..........Released a 26 week project in 48 weeks.

FIELD TESTED...............Manufacturing doesn't have a test system.

HIGH ACCURACY..............All the directories compare.

YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT.......Finally got one to work.

UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE..Nothing ever ran this slow before.

REVOLUTIONARY..............Disk drives go round and round.

BREAKTHROUGH...............It finally booted on the first try.

FUTURISTIC.................It will only run on a next generation supercomputer.

NO MAINTENANCE.............Impossible to fix.

PERFORMANCE PROVEN.........Works through Beta test.

MEETS QUALITY STANDARDS....It compiles without errors.

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED....We'll send you another pack if it fails for any
                           reason.

STOCK ITEM.................We shipped it once before and can do it again.