Archivist's Note: This archive is riddled with technical in-jokes, and you're on your own for most, but one should be explained: The Usenet group "alt.sysadmin.recovery", source of some quotations below, is also denoted by the abbreviations "a.s.r." and "ASR", as "Scary Devil Monastery" (an anagram variant), and by extension as simply "The Monastery". I've also provided explanations for some of the others. (For the remainder, you can figure them out with not much effort. Or maybe for you they're just not funny, or You Had to Be There.) The annotation 'McQ! (4x80)' is a nod to the McQuary Limit -- named for George McQuary -- the Internet-courtesy rule of thumb about .signature blocks whose gist is: Kindly manage to be witty without exceeding four 80-column lines, or prepare to be mocked mercilessly on alt.fan.warlord and elsewhere. -- Cheers, A post is just a post Rick Moen My admin will deny. rick@linuxmafia.com The usual disclaimers apply McQ! (4x80) As news spools by. -- Cheers, DISCLAIMER: I didn't do it. Rick Moen You can't prove it. Nobody rick@linuxmafia.com saw me. The sheep are lying. McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, The X11 approach to device independence is Rick Moen to treat everything like a MicroVAX on acid. rick@linuxmafia.com -- Don Hopkins, _The UNIX Hater's Handbook_ McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "The only good goth is a shoggoth...." Rick Moen -- Alistair J.R. Young, in r.a.sf.w.r-j rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, (Regarding "In God we trust":) "Don't ask me how you set the Rick Moen trust-level of a god." "At a PGP signing party?" rick@linuxmafia.com -- Per Leijonhufvud & Peter de Silva, in ASR McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "You have acquired a scroll entitled 'irk gleknow mizk'(n).--More-- Rick Moen This is an IBM Manual scroll.--More__ rick@linuxmafia.com You are permanently confused." -- ADOM (a roguelike game) McQ! (4x80) -- This message falsely claims to have been scanned for viruses with F-Secure Anti-Virus for Microsoft Exchange and to have been found clean. McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "A Discordian is a Taoist with a very strange sense of humour Rick Moen and the inability to sit still." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Rabbi Kwan Chi Sun Lieberwitz, _Jews for Buddha Cabal_ McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Evolution: Life's a niche, and then you die. Rick Moen rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Not only does the English language borrow from other languages, Rick Moen it sometimes chases them through dark alleys, hits them over the rick@linuxmafia.com head, and goes through their pockets." -- Eddy Peter McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "This is mad, egotistical, sick, twisted, and stretches the bounds of Rick Moen good taste right off the tongue, past the uvula, and down around rick@linuxmafia.com the duodenum. It has other merits, but that should McQ! (4x80) indicate positive interest." -- The Cube, http://www.forum3000.org/ -- Cheers, "Normal? Normal is a setting on my dryer." Rick Moen -- heard at BayCon 2001, http://www.baycon.org/ rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Facta tua Restitueri ad Status Pristinus Eius. Rick Moen (May your data be restored to rick@linuxmafia.com its original pristine condition.) McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Quantum materiae materietur marmota Rick Moen monax si marmota possit materiari? rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Learning Java has been a slow and tortuous process for me. Every Rick Moen few minutes, I start screaming 'No, you fools!' and have to go rick@linuxmafia.com read something from _Structure and Interpretation of McQ! (4x80) Computer Programs_ to de-stress." -- The Cube, www.forum3000.org -- "Is it not the beauty of an asynchronous form of discussion that one can go and make cups of tea, floss the cat, fluff the geraniums, open the kitchen window and scream out it with operatic force, volume, and decorum, and then return to the vexed glowing letters calmer of mind and soul?" -- The Cube, forum3000.org -- Cheers, I have a mind like a steel trap. Rick Moen Rusty, and illegal in thirty-seven states. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Orthodoxy is my doxy. Heterodoxy is someone else's doxy." Rick Moen -- William Warburton, Bishop of Gloucester (1698-1779) rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "All my life, I wanted to _be_ someone. I guess I should have Rick Moen been more specific." -- Jane Wagner rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Yes, I _am_ an agent of Satan, Rick Moen but my duties are largely ceremonial. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "He was clearly a man of many qualities, even if most of them Rick Moen were bad ones." -- Douglas Adams, describing Zaphod Beeblebrox rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Get the facts first. You can distort them later." Rick Moen -- Mark Twain rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental, Rick Moen and should not be construed." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rick Moen YOU! Out of the gene pool. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "To summarize the summary of the summary: Rick Moen People are a problem." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Douglas Adams McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "He who hesitates is frost." Rick Moen -- Inuit proverb rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Where I come from, there's nothing in the 'middle of the road' Rick Moen but a yellow line and dead armadillos." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Jim Hightower, Texas Commissioner of Agriculture McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem." Rick Moen -- William of Ockham (attr.) rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- "If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants." (Isaac Newton) "If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders." (Hal Abelson) "In computer science, we stand on each other's feet." (Brian K. Reed) -- Cheers, Open-source SourceForge retakes the lead: Rick Moen http://gforge.org/ Thank you, Tim Perdue. rick@linuxmafia.com (Archivist's Note: For context, Perdue had been the original architect of the SourceForge codebase, which was then taken proprietary by his employer in 2002. After he was laid off, he cleaned up the pre-proprietary codebase and released it, as a clearly superior alternative, renamed to "GForge" for trademark reasons. This .signature of mine aimed to give Perdue's project a small mindshare boost. Since that happened, the active open source version departed from the GForge effort and is now FusionForge.) -- Cheers, I once successfully declined a departmental retreat, Rick Moen saying that on that day I planned instead to advance. rick@linuxmafia.com -- Alan J. Rosenthal, in The Monastery McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, I have /usr/sbin/coffee mounted from /dev/mug right now, Rick Moen and you can't have it. Oh no, I just tried to seek past rick@linuxmafia.com end-of-beverage. *sigh* -- Graham Reed, in The Monastery McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Skud: Real Programmers don't use Python. Rick Moen Thorfinn: Real Programmers don't use *whitespace*. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "My file system's got no nodes!" Rick Moen "How does it shell?" rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rick Moen "vi is my shepherd; I shall not font." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Psalm 0.1 beta McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, A: No. Rick Moen Q: Should I include quotations after my reply? rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rick Moen This .signature intentionally left blank. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, I've been suffering death by PowerPoint, recently. Rick Moen -- Huw Davies rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Ceterum censeo, Caldera delenda est. Rick Moen rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, First they came for the verbs, and I said nothing, for Rick Moen verbing weirds language. Then, they arrival for the nouns rick@linuxmafia.com and I speech nothing, for I no verbs. - Peter Ellis McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Wall Street has all the emotional stability of a Rick Moen thirteen-year-old girl. -- Louis Rukeyser rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, When it comes time to hang the capitalists, they'll Rick moen fall all over each other trying to sell us the rope. rick@linuxmafia.com -- V.I. Lenin McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Dogs may have kept us company on the hunt, but it was Rick Moen the cats who insisted we invent houses and discover fire. rick@linuxmafia.com -- Khiem Tran McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Accordions don't play Lady of Spain; Rick Moen _people_ play Lady of Spain. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Ah, September, when the sysadmins turn colors Rick Moen and fall off the trees.... rick@linuxmafia.com -- Dave Van Domelen McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, The other day, upon the stair, Rick Moen I met a man who wasn't there. rick@linuxmafia.com He wasn't there again today; McQ! (4x80) I think he's from the CIA. -- Cheers, * Contributing Editor, Linux Gazette * Rick Moen -*- See the Linux Gazette in its new home: -*- rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) (Archivist's note: This .signature dates back to when SSC, Inc., the Gazette's one-time Web host, decided it owned the periodical's name and obliged the magazine's staff to move to a new domain hosted elsewhere. However, please see also: http://linuxmafia.com/~rick/faq/index.php?page=kicking#linuxgazette) -- Cheers, "A raccoon tangled with a 23,000 volt line, today. The results Rick Moen blacked out 1400 homes and, of course, one raccoon." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Steel City News McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "This is Unix. Stop acting so helpless." Rick Moen -- D.J. Bernstein rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) (Archivist's note: Since the Dan Bernstein programmer cult seem to regard me as their special devil figure because of my posted critiques, it seems fun to rile them up by quoting the gentleman in public.) -- Cheers, No trees were destroyed in the sending of this message. Rick Moen We do concede, though, that a large number of electrons rick@linuxmafia.com were terribly inconvenienced. McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, My grandparents went to a planet with no bilateral Rick Moen symmetry, and all I got was this lousy F-shirt. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Never criticize anybody until you have walked a mile Rick Moen in their shoes, because by that time you will be a rick@linuxmafia.com mile away and have their shoes. -- Brian Servis McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Never anger a bard, for your name sounds funny and Rick Moen scans to many popular songs. rick@linuxmafia.com -- Stephen Savitzky McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "< > Kernel support for JAVA binaries (obsolete) (NEW)" Rick Moen -- Linux kernel v2.2.19 configuration rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who Rick Moen know ternary, those who don't, and those who are now rick@linuxmafia.com looking for their dictionaries. -- Ron Fabre McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Plus ça change...." Rick Moen http://linuxmafia.com/~rick/pictures/1861-versus-2004.jpeg rick@linuxmafia.com P.S.: http://www.sorryeverybody.com/gallery/1/ McQ! (4x80) (Archivist's note: Seems like it's really difficult to get UTF-8 plaintext files to be rendered properly by Web servers. Sorry about that.) -- Virtual Regards, Rick Moen Sysimperator, dominus regis deusque machinarum. rick@linuxmafia.com -- Cheers, There are 10 types of people in this world, those who know quaternary, Rick Moen those who only recently figured out Ron Fabre's "ternary" .sig, those McQ! (4x80) who're completely confused, and those who hate self-referential jokes. -- Cheers, Hardware: The part you kick. Rick Moen Software: The part you boot. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rick Moen Ita erat quando hic adveni. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rick Moen Frater Magnus vos spectat. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Katrina's Law: Any sufficiently advanced incompetence Rick Moen is indistinguishable from malice. rick@linuxmafia.com (coinage attrib. to Paul Ciszek) McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Due to circumstances beyond our control, we regret to Rick Moen inform you that circumstances are beyond our control." rick@linuxmafia.com --Paul Benoit McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Chip Salzenberg: "Usenet is not a right." Rick Moen Edward Vielmetti: "Usenet is a right, a left, a jab, rick@linuxmafia.com and a sharp uppercut to the jaw. McQ! (4x80) The postman hits! You have new mail." -- Cheers, Rick Moen Support your local medical examiner: Die strangely. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rick Moen "Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Elizabeth Tudor McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Now, it's time to hack the real world, and let other Rick Moen people write Web sites about it. rick@linuxmafia.com -- Donald B. Marti McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, $n=99;sub b{"$n bottle${[s=>]}[$n==1] of beer"} Rick Moen print$b=b, $w=' on the wall', rick@linuxmafia.com ",$b! Take one down, pass it around, ",b($n--),"$w! "while$n McQ! (4x80) -- Ben Okopnik -- Cheers, Rick Moen Recedite, plebes! Gero rem Imperialem! rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rick Moen Clamo, clamatis, omnes clamamus pro glace lactis. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, Rick Moen ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rick Moen Tua mater tam antiquior ut linguam Latine loquatur. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rick Moen Vah! Denuone Latine loquebar? rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will Rick Moen annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. -- Herm Albright rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "What a pity [Standard Oil exec] H. H. Rogers's money is tainted." Rick Moen -- some commentator of the day "It's twice tainted: rick@linuxmafia.com 'Tain't yours, and 'tain't mine." -- Mark Twain, replying. McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, Rick Moen which, when you looked at it in the right way, did rick@linuxmafia.com not become still more complicated. -- Poul Anderson McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Always remember: Clones are people two! Rick Moen rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, The box said "Windows 95, Windows NT Rick Moen 4.0, or better", so I installed Linux. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, For good netiquette, Rick Moen be wise and choose a four-line rick@linuxmafia.com .sig (haiku is good). McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, My pid is Inigo Montoya. You kill -9 Rick Moen my parent process. Prepare to vi. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, When encryption is outlawed, Rick Moen only outlaws will xr2d3fsxd df#$%xx` rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, The Viking's Reminder: Rick Moen Pillage first, _then_ burn. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, The Technical Support Credo: Rick Moen Remember, there _are_ no stupid questions, rick@linuxmafia.com only stupid people asking questions. McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Linux: Good, fast, AND cheap. Rick Moen rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM! Rick Moen SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM! rick@linuxmafia.com (_Nobody_ expects the Spammish Repetition!) McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Everything is gone; Rick Moen Your life's work has been destroyed. rick@linuxmafia.com Squeeze trigger (yes/no)? McQ! (4x80) -- David Carlson (winner, haiku error message contest) -- May those that love us love us; and those that don't love us, may God turn their hearts; and if he doesn't turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles so we'll know them by their limping. McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Heedless of grammar, they all cried 'It's him!'" Rick Moen -- R.H. Barham, _Misadventure at Margate_ rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Disclaimer -- These opiini^H^H damn! ^H^H ^Q ^[ .... :w : :wq :wq! Rick Moen ^d ^X ^? exit X Q ^C ^? :quitbye CtrlAltDel ~~q :~q logout save/quit rick@linu :!QUIT ^[zz ^[ZZZZZZ ^vi man vi ^@ ^L ^[c ^# ^E ^X ^I ^T ? help xmafia.com helpquit ^D ^d !! man help ^C ^c :e! help exit ?Quit ?q CtrlShftDel -- Cheers, "Ceterum censeo Linux propaganda est." Rick Moen -- Seth David Schoen rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, There are only 10 types of people in this world -- Rick Moen those who understand binary arithmetic and those who don't. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "I am the very model of a modern Unix sysadmin, Rick Moen I've information relevant to programs in slash usr bin, rick@linuxmafia.com I know the tricks of emacs and the vi bugs historical, McQ! (4x80) From a to ZZ upper case, in order categorical." H. Hahn -- Cheers, Higgledy-Piggledy / Kibo Ubiquitous, Rick Moen Greps for his name in the / Happynet spool. rick@linuxmafia.com Interdimensional / Cyberspace deity: McQ! (4x80) Didaktyliaios / Dada is cool. -- Lewis Stiller -- Cheers, Rick Moen ROMANI, ITE DOMVM! rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "All power is delightful, but absolute power Rick Moen is absolutely delightful." - Kenneth Tynan rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Linux: It is now safe to turn on your computer. Rick Moen rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, The cynics among us might say: "We laugh, Rick Moen monkeyboys -- Linux IS the mainstream UNIX now! rick@linuxmafia.com MuaHaHaHa!" but that would be rude. -- Jim Dennis McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Founding member of the Hyphenation Society, a grassroots-based, Rick Moen not-for-profit, locally-owned-and-operated, cooperatively-managed, rick@linuxmafia.com modern-American-English-usage-improvement association. McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rick Moen This space for rant. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "By reading this sentence, you agree to be bound by the Rick Moen terms of the Internet Protocol, version 4, or, at your rick@linuxmafia.com option, any later version." -- Seth David Schoen McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rick Moen Ban the Bomb. rick@linuxmafia.com Save the world for conventional warfare. McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Why, yes, _of course_ I'm an elitist. Rick Moen Isn't everyone? rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rick Moen Potestatem capite! rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rick Moen Emacs is a decent operating system, rick@linuxmafia.com but it still lacks a good text editor. McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, A host is a host, from coast to coast. Rick Moen And nobody talks to a host that's close, rick@linuxmafia.com Unless the host that isn't close is busy, hung, or dead. McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "I'd say it's latke-esque. Sort of like Rick Moen Kafka-esque, only less depressing." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Deirdre Saoirse Moen McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rick Moen Linux for Intel: Party like it's 2037! rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rick Moen Bu^so^stopu min per kulero. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) (Archivist's note: It's an extremely colloquial phrase, rendered into Esperanto. If you really want to know, you can look it up.) -- Cheers, "Linux means never having to delete your love mail." Rick Moen -- Don Marti rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) (Archivist's note: Smirking at the ILOVEYOU network worm for MS-Windows.) -- Cheers, "The front line of defense against such sophisticated Rick Moen viruses is a continually evolving computer operating rick@linuxmafia.com system that attracts the efforts of eager software McQ! (4x80) developers." -- Bill Gates -- Cheers, It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. Rick Moen It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, rick@ The hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning, linuxmafia.com It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. -- Cheers, If C gives you enough rope to hang yourself, then C++ gives you enough Rick Moen to bind and gag your neighbourhood, rig the sails on a small ship, rick@linuxmafia.com and still have enough to hang yourself from the yardarm. McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "On the face of it, Microsoft complaining about the source license Rick Moen used by Linux is like the event horizon calling the kettle black." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Adam Barr, former Microsoft Corp. programmer McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rick Moen Fac me cocleario vomere. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rick Moen Never ask a sysadmin "What's up?" rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Not using Microsoft products is like being a non-smoker Rick Moen 40 or 50 years ago: You can choose not to smoke, yourself, rick@linuxmafia.com but it's hard to avoid second-hand smoke." -- M. Tiemann McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Java is COBOL 2.0." Rick Moen -- Deirdre Saoirse Moen rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Censeo Toto nos in Kansa esse decisse." Rick Moen -- D. Gale rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Right to keep and bear Rick Moen Haiku shall not be abridged rick@linuxmafia.com Or denied. So there. McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "That scruffy beard... those suspenders... that smug ex- Rick Moen pression.... You're one of those condescending Unix users!" rick@linuxmafia.com "Here's a nickel, kid. Get yourself a real computer." McQ! (4x80) -- Dilbert -- Cheers, Bad Unabomber! Rick Moen Blowing people all to hell. rick@linuxmafia.com Do you take requests? McQ! (4x80) -- Unabomber Haiku Contest, CyberLaw mailing list -- Cheers, "Open your present...." Rick Moen "No, you open your present...." rick@linuxmafia.com Kaczinski Christmas. McQ! (4x80) -- Unabomber Haiku Contest, CyberLaw mailing list -- Cheers, "Teach a man to make fire, and he will be warm Rick Moen for a day. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm rick@linuxmafia.com for the rest of his life." -- John A. Hrastar McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Long ago, there lived a creature with a Rick Moen voice like a vacuum cleaner. We know little rick@linuxmafia.com about it, but we do know that it ate cats. McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Look at Rick: He has Whitfield Diffie's key Rick Moen and John Gilmore's brain." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Chris di Bona McQ! (4x80) (Archivist's Note: It might ruin the surreal effect of that quotation to provide context, but: At the time, I was in a restaurant, handling John Gilmore's PDA for some reason, and about to drive Whitfield Diffie's car home for him, for which reason I had Diffie's car key.) -- Cheers, "Besides, Debian runs Web sites, Red Hat runs Rick Moen Quake, and Windows runs Half-Life." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Bryce Kerley (on Slashdot) McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Reality is not optional." Rick Moen -- Thomas Sowell rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "It ain't so much the things we don't know that get us Rick Moen in trouble. It's the things we know that ain't so." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Artemus Ward (1834-67), U.S. journalist McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "There is hardly anything in the world that some man cannot make a Rick Moen little worse and sell a little cheaper, and the people who consider rick@linuxmafia.com price only are this man's lawful prey." - J. Ruskin (attr.) McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rehab is for quitters. Rick Moen rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Before enlightenment, caffeine. Rick Moen After enlightenment, caffeine. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Re-elect Gore in '08. Rick Moen http://www.hyperorg.com/blogger/misc/gorespeech.html rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) (Archivist's Note: Originally, this was the somewhat more melodic phrase "Re-elect Gore in '04", but passage of time and loss of euphony should not stand in the way of a good troll. It would have been good to find a pithy way to say "What do you mean, rigged election? The man won by a clear 5-4 majority!", but I think I missed my window of opportunity.) -- Cheers, We write precisely We say exactly Rick Moen Since such is our habit in How to do a thing or how rick@linuxmafia.com Talking to machines; Every detail works. Excerpt from Prof. Touretzky's decss-haiku.txt @ http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/ -- Cheers, Microsoft Corporation Gandhi-o-meter, revision 2001-05-03 beta01. Rick Moen "They ignore you." "They laugh at you." "They fight you." "You win." rick@linuxmafia.com WE ARE HERE.>> ^^^^^^^^^^ McQ! (4x80) (Archivist's note: Wry comment on Microsoft Corporation's then-current series of rather nasty comments about Linux and open source, against which MS alternatives the firm's usual armamentarium had proven ineffective.) -- Cheers, Bah humbug. Shop late. Rick Moen Happy unChristmas. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rick Moen FORTH heart if honk then. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, The genius of you Americans is that you never make Rick Moen clear-cut stupid moves, only complicated stupid moves rick@linuxmafia.com that make us wonder at the possibility that there may be McQ! (4x80) something to them that we are missing. --Gamel Abdel Nasser -- Cheers, "Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first Rick Moen woman she meets, and then teams up with three complete strangers rick@linuxmafia.com to kill again." -- Rick Polito's That TV Guy column, McQ! (4x80) describing the movie _The Wizard of Oz_ -- Cheers, "I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate Rick Moen those who do. And, for the people who like country music, rick@linuxmafia.com denigrate means 'put down'." -- Bob Newhart McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Ever wonder why the _same people_ Rick Moen make up _all_ the conspiracy theories? rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, You can't lick the system -- but you can certainly Rick Moen give it a damned good fondling.... rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "I used to be on the border of insanity. However, due Rick Moen to pressing political concerns, I recently had to invade." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Kurt Montandon, in r.a.sf.w.r-j McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. Rick Moen rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Cthulhu loves me, this I know; because the High Priests tell me so! Rick Moen He won't eat me, no, not yet. He's my Elder God, dank and wet!" rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done. Rick Moen rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Best "In coming here today, you demonstrate, together with many others Regards, who did not come, that the people truly desire peace and oppose Rick M. violence. Violence erodes the basis of Israeli democracy. It must be condemned and isolated." -- Yitzhak Rabin, 4 Nov 95 (last speech) (Archivist's Note: In case the supreme irony is lost on people, be aware that Prime Minister Rabin was murdered a few seconds after he made that statement.) -- Cheers, "There's a sucker born every minute. eBay is the delivery room." Rick Moen -- David Crowe rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "In 1993, the World-Wide Web was an infosystem based on hypertext. Rick Moen In 1994, the World-Wide Web was an infosystem based on hype." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Lars Aronsson McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, The shortest distance between two puns is a straightline. Rick Moen rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Remember: The day after tomorrow is the third day Rick Moen of the rest of your life. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rick Moen Age, baro, fac ut gaudeam. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Don't use Outlook. Outlook is really just a security Rick Moen hole with a small e-mail client attached to it." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Brian Trosko in r.a.sf.w.r-j McQ! (4x80) -- Resize your browser so the following line touches both margins!
Best Regards, Rick Moen, rick@linuxmafia.com -- Cheers, find / -user your -name base -print | xargs chown us:us Rick Moen rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, kill -9 them all. Rick Moen Let init sort it out. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Send a policeman, and have it arrested." Rick Moen -- Otto von Bismarck, when asked what he rick@linuxmafia.com would do if the British Army landed. McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, The difference between common sense and paranoia is that common sense Rick Moen is thinking everyone is out to get you. That's normal; they are. rick@linuxmafia.com Paranoia is thinking they're conspiring. -- J. Kegler McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Emacs is a good operating system, but I prefer Linux. Rick Moen rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Hi! I'm a .signature virus! Copy me into your ~/.signature to help me spread. Hi!p I'm a .signature spread virus! Copy into your ~/.signature to help me Hilp I'm .sign turepread virus! into your ~/.signature! help me! Copy Help I'm traped in your ~/signature help me! -- Joe Slater -- Cheers, "Azathoth need not be present to win." Rick Moen -- Charles O. Baucum, Jr. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "We're sorry; you have reached an imaginary number. Rick Moen Please rotate your 'phone ninety degrees and try again." rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Live Faust, die Jung. Rick Moen rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Please return all dogmas to their orthodox positions." Rick Moen -- Brad Johnson, in r.a.sf.w.r-j rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?" Rick Moen -- Steven Wright rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Paranoia is the delusion that your enemies are organised. Rick Moen rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, A good man has few enemies; a ruthless man has none. Rick Moen rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "That article and its poster have been cancelled." Rick Moen -- David B. O'Donnel, sysadmin for America Online rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, English is essentially Pictish that was attacked out of nowhere by Rick Moen Angles cohabiting with Teutons who were done in by a drunk bunch of rick@linux Vikings masquerading as Frenchmen who insisted they spoke Latin and mafia.com Greek but lacked the Arabic in which to convey that. -- Bill Hammel -- Cheers, Your eyes are weary from staring at the CRT. You feel Rick Moen sleepy. Notice how restful it is to watch the cursor rick@linuxmafia.com blink. Close your eyes. The opinions stated above are McQ! (4x80) yours. You cannot imagine why you ever felt otherwise. -- Cheers, Higgeldy Piggeldy "Phooey on Freud and his Rick Moen Hamlet of Elsinore Psychoanalysis -- rick@linuxmafia.com Ruffled the critics by Oedipus, Schmoedipus, McQ! (4x80) Dropping this bomb: I just loved Mom." -- Cheers, A mosquito cried out in pain: The cause of his sorrow Rick Moen "A chemist has poisoned my brain!" Was para-dichloro rick@linuxmafia.com Diphenyltrichloroethane. McQ! (4x80) Archivist's Note: para-dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane is the insecticide better known as "DDT". -- Cheers, Reality and I had a fundamental difference of opinion. Rick Moen We're currently undergoing a trial separation. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "I've seen Sun monitors on fire off the side of the multimedia Rick Moen lab. I've seen NTU lights glitter in the dark near the Mail rick@linuxmafia.com Gate. All these things will be lost in time, like the root McQ! (4x80) partition last week. Time to die..." -- Peter Gutmann, a.s.r. -- Cheers, "I prefer to think of 'fax' as a shortening of 'fac simile sed Rick Moen longe', a Latin command meaning 'make it the same, only far away.'" rick@linuxmafia.com -- Ed Hopkins McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Yes, we will want simultaneous translators.... No, not when Rick Moen the PM meets the leaders of the English-speaking nations.... rick@linuxmafia.com Yes, the English-speaking nations can be said to include the McQ! (4x80) United States." -- Bernard Wooley, "Yes, Prime Minister" -- Cheers, "So, how are things at the Campaign for Freedom of Information?" Rick Moen "Sorry, I can't talk about that." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Sir Humphrey and Sir Arnold, "Yes, Prime Minister" McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Moebius strip for sale. See other side. Rick Moen rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, .sig fault Rick Moen rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "The seminar on Spam Canceling has been canceled again. The Rick Moen person who supposedly canceled it says it wasn't him." rick@linuxmafia.com Znqr Lbhybbx, Usenet Cabal J.D. Falk jdfalk@cybernothing.org McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Cron's disease: Symptoms include an obsessive-compulsive behaviour Rick Moen at regular intervals throughout the day, week, or month." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Clinton A. Pierce, in the scary devil monastery McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Curiosity is the very basis of education and if you tell me Rick Moen that curiosity killed the cat, I say only that the cat died nobly." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Arnold Edinborough McQ! (4x80) -- "Phnglui mgwlnafth Cthulhu rlyey wghnagl fthagn." "In his flat in Bromley, drunk Cthulhu waits knitting? I think a few subtle typos may have crept into that one." "That explains why this shoggoth I summoned is only 3mm tall." McQ! -- Peter da Silva and Peter Gutmann, in The Monastery -- Cheers, "I can see an opening for the Four Lusers of the Apocalypse: Rick Moen 'I didn't change anything', 'My e-mail doesn't work', rick@linuxmafia.com 'I can't print', and 'Is the network broken?'" McQ! (4x80) -- Paul McAuley in the scary devil monastery -- Cheers, "I'd hate to have a Peugeot 404. I can just see it now... Rick Moen I'd park it somewhere, then never find it again." rick@linuxmafia.com - Kirrily 'Skud' Robert McQ! (4x80) -- Superpolylogarithmic subexponential functions! / Faster than a polylog but slow- er than exponential. / Even though they're hard to say, they're truly quintess- ential. / Superpolylogarithmic subexponential functions! / Um diddle diddle did- dle, um diddle ay! / Um diddle diddle diddle, um diddle ay! -John S. Novak, III -- Cheers, I've been given a revelation by my e-mail spelling checker, which, Rick Moen when I wrote "fundies," suggested that I really meant "fun dies." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Estron McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "If these walls could talk... they'd probably say 'No! Rick Moen Not the nails again! Not the hammer! NOT THE HAMMER!!!!'" rick@linuxmafia.com -- Jennifer A. Ford McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone Rick Moen has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top." rick@linuxmafia.com -- English Professor, Ohio University McQ! (4x80) -- "As someone here (I forget who) said, little incidents like this are expected. If you have a group 'alt.fan.red-things', it's inevitable someone will show up and say 'red things suck'." "THINGS TO DO: newgroup alt.fan.vacuum-pumps" McQ! (4x80) -- Richard Boye' and Alistair J.R. Young, in rasfwrj -- Cheers, "The American Republic will endure, until politicians Rick Moen realize they can bribe the people with their own money." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Alexis de Tocqueville McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "You know, I've gone to a lot of psychics, and they've told me Rick Moen a lot of different things, but not one of them has ever told me rick@linuxmafia.com 'You are an undercover policewoman, here to arrest me.'" McQ! (4x80) -- New York City undercover policewoman -- Cheers, "History doesn't always repeat itself. Sometimes it just screams, Rick Moen 'Why don't you listen to me?' and lets fly with a big stick." rick@linuxmafia.com --John W. Campbell Jr. McQ! (4x80) -- "The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the computer will say, 'Specify type of goat.'" -- Rich Jeni -- Cheers, "Your program just attempted an illegal instruction. No worries, mate." Rick Moen -- Australian error messages, #14 in a series rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Here, sanity ... niiiiiice sanity, come to daddy ... okay, Rick Moen that's a good sanity ... {*THWONK!*} _Got_ the bastard." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Anthony de Boer, in The Monastery McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, there's going Rick Moen to be one big-ass fight over where to set the thermostat. rick@linuxmafia.com -- Jim Rosenberg, in The Monastery McQ! (4x80) -- Haiku are "IP"; Permission's hereby Keen Unixes are, too. GNU Granted to deal in this poem Is better, and free. Without restriction. -- Seth David Schoen -- Cheers, This .sig inspected by: Rick Moen 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0 rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, This .sig inspected by: Rick Moen 13,256,278,887,989,457,651,018,865,901,401,704,640 rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) (Archivist's note: Concerning the prior two entries, please see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AACS_encryption_key_controversy .) -- Cheers, "I want you to remember just one question, and this is it: Rick Moen Graduates, what would you do with your life if you knew rick@linuxmafia.com you could not fail?" -- Sen. Jackie Speier, in McQ! (4x80) http://www.sfsu.edu/~news/2006/spring/comm06.htm#address (Archivist's note: Longtime reformist politician Jackie Speier is one of my personal heroes, and among other challenges she's lived through was shot five times by People's Temple staff in the same attack that murdered her boss, my then-Congressman Leo J. Ryan.) -- Cheers, "Of course, NIMBYism is perfectly fine for other Rick Moen places, but we certainly shouldn't allow it in rick@linuxmafia.com _our_ town." -- Rick M., going meta on his $SPOUSE McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, English is essentially a bizarre dialect of Chinese, Rick Moen pronounced entirely in the first tone. rick@linuxmafia.com --John Cowan, http://ccil.org/~cowan/essential.html McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, English is essentially Anglo-Saxon with Rick Moen all the cool bits taken out. rick@linuxmafia.com --Thomas Leigh, http://ccil.org/~cowan/essential.html McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, English is essentially an imprecise dialect of Java, Rick Moen without the object orientation. rick@linuxmafia.com --Julian Morrison, http://ccil.org/~cowan/essential.html McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, English is essentially Plattdeutsch as spoken Rick Moen by a Frisian pretending to be French. rick@linuxmafia.com -- Andreas Johansson, http://ccil.org/~cowan/essential.html McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, English is essentially what happens when you can't decide whether Rick Moen the Greeks or the Romans had the better civilization, so you ask rick@linuxmafia.com everybody they ever beat up on to sort it out. McQ! (4x80) -- John M. Ford, http://ccil.org/~cowan/essential.html -- Cheers, English is essentially a language in which "up" has Rick Moen forty-seven dictionary definitions, but rick@linuxmafia.com antidisestablishmentarianism is considered a "hard word." McQ! (4x80) -- John M. Ford, http://ccil.org/~cowan/essential.html -- Cheers, English is essentially a text parser's way of getting Rick Moen faster processors built. rick@linuxmafia.com -- John M. Ford, http://ccil.org/~cowan/essential.html McQ! (4x80) -- "Zees American words are too much. Zen our culture you'll wrench; With 'le parking' 'le weekend' & such. Wiz our children we'll be out of touch." Eef you anglicize French, -- L'Academie Francaise in a nutshell McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, To you, this thought Alot Rick Moen I gently allot: Isnot rick@linuxmafia.com Aword. McQ! (4x80) -- Your font is: Proportional Monospaced ^ Matt McIrvin's amazing Font-o-Meter! -- Cheers, Peter G. Neumann: "Mars has been a tough target." Rick Moen Harlan Rosenthal: "That's because the Martians keep rick@linuxmafia.com shooting things down." RISKS Digest, v. 20, #59&60 McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Mia kusenveturilo estas plena da angiloj. Rick Moen rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Harahefet sh'eli mele'ah betzlofahim. Rick Moen rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Tá m'árthach foluaineach lán d'eascainn. Rick Moen rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) (Archivist's note: All three are translations of a rather famous phrase from a Monty Python skit -- in, respectively, Esperanto, Hebrew, and Gaelic.) (Archivist's note: Seems like it's really difficult to get UTF-8 plaintext files to be rendered properly by Web servers. Sorry about that.) -- Cheers, Ceci n'est pas une pipe: | Rick Moen rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, EMACS May Alienate Clients and Supporters Rick Moen rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, But then voting season comes, and reminds you that all Rick Moen those Americans that are individually sane and normal tend rick@linuxmafia.com to be collectively crazy and very odd. -- Linus Torvalds http://torvalds-family.blogspot.com/2008/10/stranger-in-strange-land.html -- Cheers, "The market can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent." Rick Moen --- John Maynard Keynes (attr.) rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "My generals are always right about other people's Rick Moen wars and wrong about our own." -- LBJ rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "You do not examine legislation in light of the benefits Rick Moen it will convey if properly administered, but in light of rick@linuxmafia.com the wrongs it would do and the harms it would cause if McQ! (4x80) improperly administered." -- LBJ -- Cheers, "I'm sorry Dan, what's right isn't always popular, Rick Moen and what's popular isn't always right." rick@linuxmafia.com -- George R. Moscone, Nov. 27, 1978 McQ! (4x80) (Archivist's Note: These were the last words of San Francisco Mayor George Moscone, just before he was murdered by Supervisor Dan White. I had been a volunteer campaign worker in Mayor Moscone's campaign -- and also for my congressman, Leo J. Ryan, likewise assassinated near Jonestown, Guyana by People's Temple staff, shortly before Moscone's murder.) -- Cheers, "There once was a man from Nantucket, Rick Moen who lost his .sig in a bucket. rick@linuxmafia.com Five lines was too long, / columns 80 just strong, McQ! (4x80) so he didn't know where to tuck it." -- alt.fan.warlord -- Cheers, Crypto lets someone say "Hi! I absolutely definitely have Rick Moen a name somewhat like the name of a large familiar rick@linuxmafia.com organization, and I'd like to steal your data!" and lots McQ! (4x80) of users will say "OK, fine, whatever." -- John Levine -- Cheers, Híggledy-pìggledy / XML programmers Rick Moen Try to escape those / I-eighteen-N woes; rick@linuxmafia.com Incontrovertibly / What we need more of is McQ! (4x80) Unicode weenies and / François Yergeaus. (Archivist's note: Seems like it's really difficult to get UTF-8 plaintext files to be rendered properly by Web servers. Sorry about that.) -- Cheers, Notice: The value of your Hofstadter's Constant Rick Moen (the average amount of time you spend each month rick@linuxmafia.com thinking about Hofstadter's Constant) has just McQ! (4x80) been adjusted upwards. -- Cheers, They sought it with thimbles, they sought it with care; Rick Moen They pursued it with forks and hope; rick@linuxmafia.com They threatened its life with a railway-share; McQ! (4x80) They charmed it with smiles and soap. -- Rick Moen There was an old man Said with a laugh, "I rick@linuxmafia From Peru, whose lim'ricks all Cut them in half, the pay is .com Looked like haiku. He Much better for two." --Emmet O'Brien -- Rick Moen "The Internet sees your competence and wisdom as damage, rick@linuxmafia.com and will route around it." -- Anil Dash McQ! (4x80) http://twitter.com/anildash/status/2897466042 -- Rick Moen Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean rick@linuxmafia.com to stand by the president or any other public official. McQ! (4x80) -- Theodore Roosevelt -- Rick Moen "The plural of 'Pokemon' is 'vermin.'" rick@linuxmafia.com -- FakeAPStylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen "Names of fictional places are capitalized: rick@linuxmafia.com Narnia, Oz, San Francisco, etc." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Use 'login' for the noun, 'log in' for the action, rick@linuxmafia.com and 'Loggins' when you're footloose in the danger zone." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Use 'verbal' to compare words with some other form of rick@linuxmafia.com communication ('poor verbal skills'), use 'oral' to be McQ! (4x80) more popular." -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Use the inverted pyramid structure for your story, rick@linuxmafia.com as this pleases Apophis, the Egyptian god of darkness McQ! (4x80) and chaos." -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Robots should be referred to only by gender-neutral rick@linuxmafia.com pronouns, no matter how sexy they may be." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "'Lego' is the plural. There is no singular, because rick@linuxmafia.com what the hell can you do with only one of them?" McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "The seemingly odd usage of 'ironic' in Ms. Morissette's rick@linuxmafia.com song is due to errors during translation from the McQ! (4x80) original Canadian." -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Use 'quirky' to describe potentially dangerous crazy rick@linuxmafia.com people that you don't want to upset." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Always remember to close all parentheses. We're rick@linuxmafia.com not paying to air condition the entire paragraph." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "If accuracy / Is what you crave / rick@linuxmafia.com Then you should call it / Myanmar Shave." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Always capitalize 'Satan'. You don't want to get dead rick@linuxmafia.com goats from those people." -- FakeAPStylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen "The correct spelling is 'Mr. T.' People who type out rick@linuxmafia.com 'Mister' are fools to be pitied." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "While it's tempting to call them 'baristi' because of rick@linuxmafia.com the Italian roots, the plural of 'barista' is McQ! (4x80) 'journalism majors.'" -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "'Among' if you're in normal society; 'amongst' if you're rick@linuxmafia.com in a period drama made by the BBC." -- FakeAPStylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen "If you start a sentence with an action, place the actor rick@linuxmafia.com immediately after, or you will anger Christian Bale." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "The plural of Blackberry is 'Blackberries.' The plural rick@linuxmafia.com of Blackberry users is 'Dingleberries.'" McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "The numbers one through ten should be spelled out, rick@linuxmafia.com while numbers greater than ten are products of the McQ! (4x80) Illuminati and should be avoided." -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Take note; the semicolon is never to be used correctly." rick@linuxmafia.com -- FakeAPStylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen "The rules for numbers below ten do not apply to 6. rick@linuxmafia.com He is not a number, he is a free man." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Commas are probably the most misunderstood of all rick@linuxmafia.com punctuation. They frequently dress in black, listen McQ! (4x80) to sad music, and cut themselves." -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Avoid using 'decimate', as someone will pipe up about it rick@linuxmafia.com meaning 'remove 1/10th of', and those people are dicks." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Do not abbreviate 'Maine'. They will call the newsroom rick@linuxmafia.com and whine in that ridiculous fake accent of theirs." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "To make 'pants' singular, use a pair of scissors." rick@linuxmafia.com -- FakeAPStylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen "People who spell 'voila' as 'viola' should be rick@linuxmafia.com responded to with voilence." -- FakeAPStylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen "For the titles of most compositions, use quotation marks. rick@linuxmafia.com If Bob Fosse is involved, use jazz hands." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "A 'homonym' is a nym attracted to nyms of the same sex." rick@linuxmafia.com -- FakeAPStylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen "The phrase 'sources high in the administration' can give rick@linuxmafia.com unintended connotations, depending on your readership." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Infinitives may be split only after extensive counseling, rick@linuxmafia.com and a trial separation." -- FakeAPStylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen "We believe you mean 'dundant', ma'am." rick@linuxmafia.com -- FakeAPStylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen "Due to circumstances beyond your control, rick@linuxmafia.com you are captain of your fate, and master of your soul." McQ! (4x80) -- Ashleigh Brilliant -- Rick Moen "The word 'totally' is redundant except when rick@linuxmafia.com describing how rad something is." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Do not bracket nonrestrictive phrases with commas. rick@linuxmafia.com Nonrestrictive phrases yearn to be free and feel the McQ! (4x80) wind in their hair." -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Do not confuse 'lyme disease' with 'lime disease', rick@linuxmafia.com an affliction caused by over-consumption of mojitos." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Having the right word is much more satisfying than just rick@linuxmafia.com sleeping around with any old word that comes along." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Answer rhetorical questions. They act like they don't rick@linuxmafia.com need one, but, deep down, they do." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "And you say, 'Just a moment, I've almost finished rick@linuxmafia.com _If on a Winter's Night a Traveler_ by Italo Calvino.'" McQ! (4x80) -- Italo Calvino, _If on a Winter's Night a Traveler_ -- Rick Moen "Columbus, too, thought he was a flop, probably, when they rick@linuxmafia.com sent him back in chains. Which didn't prove there was no McQ! (4x80) America." -- Saul Bellow, _The Adventures of Augie March_ -- Rick Moen "This is the difference between this and that." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Gertrude Stein, _A Novel of Thank You_ McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen this way this way this way this way this way this way this rick@linuxmafia.com way out this McQ! (4x80) way out O -- Ronald Sukenick, _Out_ -- Rick Moen "Fine. The use of the passive-aggressive voice rick@linuxmafia.com is to be discouraged. Whatever, MAN." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Passive voice is used when the receiver of an rick@linuxmafia.com action is more important than the performer. Ex: McQ! (4x80) Your mom was banged." -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Use standard abbreviations for foreign money: EUR for rick@linuxmafia.com euros, AUD for Australian dollars, CBP for Canadian McQ! (4x80) beaver pelts, etc." -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Only three living individuals are addressed as 'the': rick@linuxmafia.com the Batman, the Doctor, and the Erik Estrada." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "For 1-5 pizza boxes, use the suffix -heap. For 6-10, rick@linuxmafia.com use -henge. 10+ pizza boxes is a pizziggurat." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "References to online retailer Amazon.com should always rick@linuxmafia.com include '.com' even though they actually make money." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "The suffix '-bate' means 'to lessen.' rick@linuxmafia.com Yeah, we were surprised, too." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rick@linuxmafia.com rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem. McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen "Avoid using foreign-language phrases in your articles, rick@linuxmafia.com unless they have a certain je ne sais quoi." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "When attributing a quotation to Paris Hilton, rick@linuxmafia.com the preferred term is 'blame'." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "The word 'axiomatic' is George Will's thing, and rick@linuxmafia.com he will straight up cut you, if you try to use it." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Remind testy sources they shouldn't pick fights rick@linuxmafia.com with someone who buys ink by the barrel, by throwing McQ! (4x80) barrels of ink at them." -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Use 'Holy Grail' for the cup of Christ and rick@linuxmafia.com 'holey Grail' for the strainer of Christ." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "A superscript is a script that was rocketed to rick@linuxmafia.com Earth as an infant from its doomed homeworld." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "It is important to close all parentheses. We've rick@linuxmafia.com all been trapped in a Mike Royko aside since 1978." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Cheers, I don't have a solution, but I Rick Moen certainly admire the problem. rick@linuxmafia.com -- Ashleigh Brilliant McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, To whom it may concern: you Rick Moen are a very special person. rick@linuxmafia.com -- Ashleigh Brilliant McQ! (4x80) -- The sight of his guests filled Lord Cray / At breakfast with horrid dismay, So he launched off the spoons / The pits from his prunes At their heads as they neared the buffet. -- Edward Gorey McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, If God had approved of the metric system, Rick Moen he'd have given us ten fingers. rick@linuxmafia.com -- Ashleigh Brilliant McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Living on earth may be expensive, but it Rick Moen includes an annual free trip around the sun. rick@linuxmafia.com -- Ashleigh Brilliant McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, My sources are unreliable, but their Rick Moen information is fascinating. rick@linuxmafia.com -- Ashleigh Brilliant McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, All I want is a warm bed and a Rick Moen kind word, and unlimited power. rick@linuxmafia.com -- Ashleigh Brilliant McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, what's the difference between chattr and chmod? Rick Moen SomeLamer: man chattr > 1; man chmod > 2; rick@linuxmafia.com diff -u 1 2 | less McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rick Moen Debian - even Hell freezes faster rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Welcome to our special issue on violence in the Rick Moen workplace..., I mean system administration. rick@linuxmafia.com -- Don Marti, Linux Journal, Dec. 2000 McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rick Moen There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, #ifdef NOT_A_GODDAMN_YANK Rick Moen { 0x10, "Minimise Delay" }, #else rick@linuxmafia.com { 0x10, "Minimize Delay" }, #endif /* ipchains.c */ McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen "Never substitute a slash for a solidus. rick@linuxmafia.com You don't want to get letters from Victorian bankers." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen Well, my terminal's locked up, and I ain't got any mail, rick@linuxmafia.com And I can't recall the last time my program didn't fail; McQ! (4x80) I've got stacks in my structs, I've got arrays in my queues, I've got the: Segmentation violation -- Core dumped blues. -- Rick Moen "Do not use the phrase 'Jungian archetype' outside of rick@linuxmafia.com restaurant reviews." -- FakeAPStylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen "Subjects and verbs should always agree, even if rick@linuxmafia.com they just agree to disagree." -- FakeAPStylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen "Starting every sentence in your health story about rick@linuxmafia.com conjunctivitis with a conjunction is what they call McQ! (4x80) poeticism." -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "When referring to Spider-Man, 'Web head' can now rick@linuxmafia.com be written as 'webhead'." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Do not be afraid to use exclamation points rick@linuxmafia.com in your writing. They can sense fear." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "It is no longer necessary to write new stories rick@linuxmafia.com about Facebook privacy issues; just change the dates." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Use quotation marks for all direct quotes, unless you rick@linuxmafia.com are some kind of fancy pants, Mr. Cormac McCarthy." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "'Pop Tarts' is a trademark, and should not rick@linuxmafia.com be used to describe generic products such as McQ! (4x80) Taylor Swift or Miley Cyrus." -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "In stories about pirates, remember the rick@linuxmafia.com adjectival form is 'piradical'." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Omt ndlss vwls." rick@linuxmafia.com -- FakeAPStylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen "ATM machine (n): Machine that makes ATMs." rick@linuxmafia.com -- FakeAPStylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen "Imperial units should be used only when measuring rick@linuxmafia.com general levels of rebel scum." -- FakeAPStylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen "The four seasons are Spring, Summer, Winter and Fall. rick@linuxmafia.com For California publications, change to Mudslide, McQ! (4x80) Hillfire, Flood, and Earthquake." -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "An easy way that you can save space is to edit out the rick@linuxmafia.com overused word 'that.' That's just not a word that needs McQ! (4x80) that much use." -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "In stories about anti-war protests, distinguish rick@linuxmafia.com participants who love peace from those who are McQ! (4x80) just big Mercedes fans." -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Use 'bologna' for the meat, 'baloney' for rick@linuxmafia.com anything creationists say." -- FakeAPStylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen "'Horrible tragedy': Use this phrasing to differentiate rick@linuxmafia.com the described event from hilarious tragedies." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Avoid dangling participles unless referring to James Bond, rick@linuxmafia.com in which case dangle them over shark tanks or fire pits." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Throw small projectiles at your copy editor now and rick@linuxmafia.com then. A jumpy copy editor is an accurate copy editor." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Cheers, "One of the reasons it takes such a long time to make a picture Rick Moen like 'Jaws' is because it's not the time it takes to take the rick@linux take that takes the time; it's the time it takes between takes mafia.com that takes the time that takes the takes." -- Roy Scheider -- Rick Moen "'Rape' is a green, leafy vegetable, similar to rick@linuxmafia.com lettuce. 'Child molestation', however, is not." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Do not refer to inhabitants of Lesbos as 'Lesbians', rick@linuxmafia.com even if they did experiment that one time in college." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "When asking paranormal experts for verifiable evidence, rick@linuxmafia.com also wish for a flying pony, because hey, you never know." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "A co-dependent clause will stay with a main clause long rick@linuxmafia.com beyond the point that it's healthy for either of them." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "pay wall - Method used by newspapers and other publications rick@linuxmafia.com to keep online readership down to low, manageable levels." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "It is perfectly acceptable to split an infinitive, rick@linuxmafia.com especially if you haven't brought enough for everybody." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "The correct plural forms are as follows: rick@linuxmafia.com surgeons general, brothers-in-law, Spiders-Man." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "You can never go home again, Oatman, rick@linuxmafia.com but I guess you can shop there." McQ! (4x80) -- Martin Blank, "Grosse Pointe Blank" -- Rick Moen "peasant - Seen as derogatory. Don't use in relation to rick@linuxmafia.com farm laborers. OK for third-shift copy editors, though." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Never diagram a sentence when under the influence of rick@linuxmafia.com alcohol or strong narcotics, even if it IS hilarious." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Do not simply write that an official is laying 'in state.' rick@linuxmafia.com Be specific: What kind of state? Death? Arousal? Kentucky?" McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Do not use square brackets unless rick@linuxmafia.com you're writing about Pat Boone or Al Gore." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "It's too bad that everyone who has a solution for rick@linuxmafia.com everything is at home commenting on the Internet." McQ! (4x80) -- Kelly Oxford -- Rick Moen "Shakira molests air and calls it dancing." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Kelly Oxford McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen "A photograph is worth more than a thousand words. rick@linuxmafia.com Especially a photograph of at least 1001 words." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "The Tea Party is to politics what rick@linuxmafia.com 'Jersey Shore' is to television." McQ! (4x80) -- Kelly Oxford -- Rick Moen "I'm pretty sure the Mayans just got rick@linuxmafia.com tired of writing that calendar." McQ! (4x80) -- Kelly Oxford -- Rick Moen "Told my friend she shouldn't smoke weed while she's rick@linuxmafia.com pregnant because her baby's never going to want to McQ! (4x80) come out." -- Kelly Oxford -- Rick Moen "No hay mayor desprecio que no hacer aprecio." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Spanish proverb McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen We Await Silent Tristero's Empire. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen "I've been to Alaska, it was like a long rick@linuxmafia.com 'Home Improvement' episode with taxidermy." McQ! (4x80) -- Kelly Oxford -- Rick Moen "I'm not a cynic: I'm a hypocrite. rick@linuxmafia.com Hypocrites believe in something." McQ! (4x80) -- Roy Zimmerman, "Creation Science 101" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIwiPsgRrOs -- Rick Moen "The race is not to the swift, nor the battle rick@linuxmafia.com to the strong..., but that's the way to bet." McQ! (4x80) -- Damon Runyon, riffing off Ecclesiastes 9:11 -- Rick Moen "Top tip: Pay for your homeopathic medicine with a rick@linuxmafia.com glass of water that's had a $100 note dipped into it." McQ! (4x80) -- Josh Price -- Rick Moen "If a guy says, 'I feel like I've known you forever' rick@linuxmafia.com on a first date, it means he's never talked to a McQ! (4x80) woman for that long before." -- Kelly Oxford -- Rick Moen "'Lego'" is the plural. The singular is 'Legum'." rick@linuxmafia.com -- FakeAPStylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen "You can stop running that response to Virginia's rick@linuxmafia.com letter about Santa. She's probably dead by now." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "So, this SEO copywriter walks into a bar, grill, rick@linuxmafia.com pub, public house, Irish bar, bartender, drinks, McQ! (4x80) beer, wine, liquor." -- Michael Karlsson -- Rick Moen "Celebrities promoting alt-med therapies should rick@linuxmafia.com be listed in descending order of deaths caused." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "Has Google looked at the appropriateness of indexing rick@linuxmafia.com #WikiLeaks? The answer is yes, and we decided to McQ! (4x80) continue. Because it's legal." -- Eric Schmidt -- Rick Moen "'Decimate' when referring to killing one rick@linuxmafia.com in ten. 'Octomate' when referring to the McQ! (4x80) cephalopod dating site." -- FakeAPStylebook -- Rick Moen "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Ambrose Bierce McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen Remember Thor Five! rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) (Archivist's note: This was a rallying cry in James Blish's award-winning science-fiction series of novels _Cities in Flight_.) -- Rick Moen "I once requested an urgent admission for a homeopath, rick@linuxmafia.com who had become depressed and taken a massive underdose." McQ! (4x80) -- Dr. Phil Peverley -- Rick Moen "It may be necessary to explain to your younger readers rick@linuxmafia.com that Mubarak is not a Pokemon." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook (Archivist's note to posterity: Above was topical in the year 2011.) -- Rick Moen "A shprakh iz a dialekt mit an armey un flot." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Max Weinreich, linguist McQ! (4x80) (Archivist's note to the Yiddish-challenged: 'A language is a dialect with an army and a navy.' Weinreich was raised in Russian-ruled Latvia, where he founded the YIVO Institute for Jewish Research, one of the bastions of the Yiddish language, in 1925. He fled the outbreak of WWII and re-founded YIVO in New York City during the war.) -- Rick Moen "If you watch Black Swan backwards, it's a movie about rick@linuxmafia.com a psychotic girl who benefits from ballet therapy." McQ! (4x80) -- knnth_dh -- Rick Moen ("Personal to sci-fi fans: If '2001' is _Analog_, rick@linuxmafia.com 'Tron: Legacy' is _Thrilling Wonder Stories_.) McQ! (4x80) -- Roger Ebert's review of Tron: Legacy -- Rick Moen "Julianne Moore probably took the role of Sarah Palin rick@linuxmafia.com because actors win awards for playing handicapped people." McQ! (4x80) -- Kelly Oxford -- Rick Moen "What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?" rick@linuxmafia.com -- The Doctor McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen The Doctor: "I feel disoriented." rick@linuxmafia.com Sarah Jane Smith: "This is the disorientation centre." McQ! (4x80) The Doctor: "That makes sense." -- Rick Moen "No. 'Eureka' is Greek for 'This bath is too hot.'" rick@linuxmafia.com -- The Doctor McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen "Gosh that takes me back... or is it forward? rick@linuxmafia.com That's the trouble with time travel - you never can tell." McQ! (4x80) -- The Doctor -- Rick Moen Vila: "Why don't you go?" Avon: "_You_ are expendable." rick@linuxmafia.com Vila: "And you're not?" Avon: "No, I am not. McQ! (4x80) I am not expendable, I'm not stupid, and I'm not going." -- Blake's Seven -- Rick Moen "There are three states of legality in Irish law. There is all this rick@linux stuff that comes under 'That's grand', then it moves into 'Ah, now mafia.com don't push it', and finally it comes under 'Right, now you're takin McQ! (4x80) the piss', and that's when the police come in." -- Dara O'Briain -- Rick Moen "They say men can never experience the pain of rick@linuxmafia.com childbirth. But they can, if you hit them in the McQ! (4x80) goolies with a cricket bat for 14 hours." -- Jo Brand -- Rick Moen "Old professors never die, they just lose their faculties." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Stephen Fry McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "This is the first time in my lifetime that Irish people are Rick Moen able to go 'What? You're going to England? It's full of rick@linuxmafia.com terrorists. Come to Ireland. We've no terrorists at all. McQ! (4x80) They're all playwrights, now.'" -- Dara O'Briain -- Cheers, "I installed a skylight in my apartment. Rick Moen The people who live above me are furious." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Steven Wright McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "On American pronunciation: You say erbs and we Rick Moen say herbs. Because, you know, there's an H in it." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Eddie Izzard McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Rick Moen Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Peter Kay McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' Rick Moen And I say, 'I hope so.'" rick@linuxmafia.com -- Bill Bailey McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "The first thing I do in the morning Rick Moen is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Dorothy Parker McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Please proofread your feature titles. We don't need more letters Rick Moen from people reminding us that Mothra's Day isn't until August." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Fake AP Stylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Conjoined sentences have two or more clauses. Once popular Rick Moen sideshow attractions, modern surgery has made them rare." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Fake AP Stylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "You're not cleared for that information, Friend Citizen. Rick Moen (Remember: Rumors are treason, and make the Computer UnHappy.") rick@linuxmafia.com -- Paranoia McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "If you play a Ke$ha song backwards, you hear messages from Satan. Rick Moen Even worse, if you play it forwards, you hear Ke$ha." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Lord_Voldemort7 McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Typographers will tell you to eliminate widows Rick Moen and orphans. Typographers are MONSTERS." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Fake AP Stylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Misplaced modifiers are always in the last place you look." Rick Moen -- Fake AP Stylebook rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, ["Exit, pursued by a bear."] Rick Moen -- The Winter's Tale, Act III, Scene III rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Q: Why did Douglas Hofstadter cross the road? Rick Moen A: To make this joke possible. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Now, at this point, I should have remembered that profound Rick Moen truism: 'Some people, when confronted with a Unix problem, rick@linuxmafia. think, "I know, I'll use sed." Now, they have two problems.'" com McQ! (4x80) -- Jamie Zawinski, Unix-Haters mailing list, 1992-12-12 -- Cheers, "When closing parentheses, it's polite to post Rick Moen a sign saying when they will reopen." rick@linuxmafia.com -- FakeAPStylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Junk science, n.: genital studies." Rick Moen -- FakeAPStyleBook rick@linuxmafia. com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Never bury the lede. Cremation is the Rick Moen only way to make sure it's really dead." rick@linuxmafia. -- FakeAPStyleBook com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Any claim that includes a requirement that you Rick Moen have to really, really believe for it to work is rick@linuxmafia. essentially unfalsifiable. -- Rebecca Wolfe com McQ! (4x80) -- Rick Moen "So as not to offend readers, use rick@linuxmafia.com 'the N-word' instead of 'Nebraska'." McQ! (4x80) -- FakeAPStylebook -- Cheers, "I am not now, nor have I ever been, Rick Moen a member of the demigodic party." rick@linuxmafia.com -- Dennis Ritchie McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Unless you're doing a story on the Muppets, Rick Moen you are not a gonzo journalist." rick@linuxmafia.com -- FakeAPStylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Science editors: There are no such things as Rick Moen 'indigo children.' The correct term is 'Jedi'." rick@linuxmafia.com -- FakeAPStylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rick Moen Every time you make a typo, the errorists win. rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Rick Moen "So, every time a new iPhone's about to come out, rick@linuxmafia.com one will get left in a bar? Apple's like a clumsy, McQ! (4x80) alcoholic Easter Bunny." -- Rex Huppke -- Cheers, "'LEGO' is the plural. The singular is 'Legum.'" Rick Moen -- FakeAPStylebook rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Do not forget the extra 'r' in Febuarry." Rick Moen -- FakeAPStylebook rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Valentine's Day (Feb. 14) should not be Rick Moen confused with Vanhalentine's Day (every day)." rick@linuxmafia.com -- FakeAPStylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, Remember: "its" means "it is", and "it's" Rick Moen is the possessive form of "it". rick@linuxmafia.com -- FakeAPStylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Hungry: wanting food. Hungary: European country. Rick Moen Hung Gary: Works in classifieds, gentlemen." rick@linuxmafia.com -- FakeAPStylebook McQ! (4x80) -- Cheers, "Debian ist ein Textadventure." Rick Moen -- Klaus Knopper rick@linuxmafia.com McQ! (4x80)