Date: 19 Jun 2003 20:26:45 GMT From: Steve Christensen To: rick@linuxmafia.com Subject: [alt.religion.kibology] Re: Mysterious bagpiper: what to do? Organization: best of usenet humor Subject: Re: Mysterious bagpiper: what to do? From: "Paddy Smith" Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology John D Salt wrote: > > See, this is where Highland hordesmen are trickier to deal with > than Terrorists. If it's Terrorists, you know to ASSUME > CONDITION ORANGE, or some other bright and distinctive colour. > With the Scots Menace, though, all the alert states are in > tartan, so it's MUCH harder. Can you tell an Abercrombie from a > Hunting Cameron in a dim light? I know I can't. SCOTS MENACE ALERT SCALE ALERT STATE with comments state: BLACK WATCH This state is characterised as LOW THREAT of invasion and/or extra-Caledonian activity by Highland clansmen, and by a tasteful dark green with blue panels. Remain vigilant, keep sheep indoors. state: CAMPBELL OF ARGYLL This is an attractive grey-green and yellow alert state, with MEDIUM THREAT of raids by hairy ginger-bearded men eating oats for dinner. Report all suspicious unattended foxskin packages to a person in authority, and avoid crowded areas during Old Firm matches. state: ROYAL STUART This is a serious condition of HIGH THREAT from generalised Jacobite uprisings, sword dancing, and garish tourist-friendly travel rugs in hideous untraditional reds. Stock up on soap and fresh vegetables, avoid areas prone to caber attack and report all sightings of bobbled headgear immediately. HTH. -- Moderators accept or reject articles based solely on the criteria posted in the Frequently Asked Questions. Article content is the responsibility of the submitter. Submit articles to ahbou-sub@duke.edu. To write to the moderators, send mail to ahbou-mod@duke.edu.