Ever wanted to know what all those brilliant lines that make us buy things we don't want or need REALLY mean? High Tech Computer Sales Jargon NEW - Different color from previous design ALL NEW - Parts not interchangable with previous design EXCLUSIVE - Imported product UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition DESIGNED SIMPLICITY - Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it IT'S HERE AT LAST! - Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming FIELD-TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had big argument with distributor YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one that works REVOLUTIONARY - It's different from our competitiors BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a way to sell it FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does DISTINCTIVE - A different shape and color than the others MAINTENANCE-FREE - Impossible to fix RE-DESIGNED - Previous faults corrected, we hope... HAND-CRAFTED - Assembly machines operated without gloves on PERFORMANCE PROVEN - Will operate through the warranty period MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours ALL SOLID-STATE - Heavy as Hell! BROADCAST QUALITY - Gives a picture and produces noise HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it SMPTE BUS COMPATABILE - When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound NEW GENERATION - Old design failed, mabey this one will work MIL-SPEC COMPONENTS - We got a good deal at a government auction CUSTOMER SERVICE ACROSS THE COUNTRY - You can return it from most airports UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE - Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES - We finally got it to fit together SATISFACTION GUARANTEED - Manufacturer's, upon cashing your check MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED - Does things we can't explain LATEST AREOSPACE TECHNOLOGY - One of our techs was laid off by Boeing Submitted by: Brenda M Standefer @ mesa5.mesa.colorado.edu