From baur@venice.sedd.trw.com Tue Dec 28 00:37:56 2004 Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny.reruns Subject: A new version of rm(1) for DOD contractors From: baur@venice.sedd.trw.com (Steven L. Baur) Approved: rhf-reruns@netfunny.com Keywords: computers, unix, original, chuckle, originally appeared in fourth quarter, 1989 Followup-To: rec.humor.d Message-ID: Date: Sun, 14 Nov 2004 19:20:00 PST Documentation for a new version of RM(1) floating around here. (I wrote it). ------------------------------------------------ RM(1) {hfill} RM(1) NAME rm - remove files SYNOPSIS rm [ -fri ] [-A[ABCEFGHMRUbcfjlmnpru2]] file ... DESCRIPTION The command _rm_ deletes each file argument from the system. There are a large number of options: -f Forced remove. Unwritable files are removed without _rm_ asking permission. By default, _rm_ will ask permission before removing unwritable files. -r Recursive remove. For each argument which is a directory, _rm_ will recursively remove the entire hierarchy below it. If this was successful, the directory itself is removed. -i Interactive remove. _rm_ will ask permission before removing anything. -A Remove Ada files. Ada files are those files that have an extension of .a or .ada. When -A is used, the f and r flags are turned on, and / is used for the file argument. There are a host of modifiers. -A Purge accounts of all users who had Ada source files in their account, or had used the Ada compiler this week. -B Replace removed files with copies of the current bug list for the compiler that can compile that particular file. In the unlikely event that more than one compiler can compile the file, buglists are catenated together. WARNING: This can consume an inordinate amount of disk space. -C Remove all Ada compilers from the system. -E Remove all executables produced by an Ada compiler. -F Flame option. After removing files, make a posting to comp.lang.ada describing exactly how well Ada works. -G Replace removed files with copies of the GNU manifesto. -H Honesty option. Send mail to the Ada compiler vendor describing exactly how you felt spending $5000 for a compiler that didn't work. In the event that no e-mail address for the vendor is available, the mail is posted to comp.lang.ada. -M Mail source files to rms@mit-prep.mit.edu before removing. -R Raw eggs option. For every file deleted, print the string "Ada sucks raw eggs" to the system console. -S Script option. Delete shell scripts that call the Ada compiler too. -U USENET option. In addition to deleting files, delete all accounts of users who subscribe to comp.lang.ada. After deleting files and accounts delete comp/lang/ada from the netnews area. -b Beat option. Only valid in conjunction with the -E option. Don't simply delete Ada compilers, beat them to death with a stick first. -c Don't remove Ada source files, instead convert them to C++. The extension is changed .c++. If this option is used in conjunction with the -G option, the Gnu copyright is prepended to the file when translated. -f Force option. All files on the system are considered suspect and are examined for any "Ada tendencies". Files containing any "Ada tendencies" will be deleted. This is the only way to delete makefiles for Ada programs. -j Jerry Falwell option. In addition to deleting files, burn all copies of the Ada Reference Manual. -l Lose option. This can only be used in conjunction with the -C option. Instead of deleting Ada compilers, replace them with a shell script that prints "You Lose!" when invoked. -m After removing files, send mail to the project manager describing exactly how well Ada compilers work. If this option is used, a resume is also posted to misc.jobs.resumes. -n Network option. Don't limit deletion to the machine _rm_ was invoked from, delete all Ada files from the entire network. -p Pascal option. Translate Ada source files to Pascal. The extension is changed to .p. -r Run /usr/games/rogue while deleting Ada files. -u UUCP option. Similar to the -n option. Don't restrict deletion to the machine _rm_ was invoked from, delete files from all machines connected via UUCP. -2 Translate Ada source files to Modula 2. The extension is changed to .m2. FILES $HOME/resume for the -m option. /usr/ada/bugreports/* for the -B option. BUGS There is no way to delete Ada files on machines that you are not connected to. The -A option was written in Ada, so of course it is ugly and non-portable. -- rec.humor.funny.reruns is a moderated newsgroup. If you are seeing postings in the group other than the repostings from netfunny.com then your site's software is misconfigured. Write your site's admin (usenet@yoursite) and ask them to make sure RHF and RHF.reruns are configured as "moderated."