Date: Fri, 2 Apr 1999 10:44:49 -0800
From: Rick Moen <rick@hugin.imat.com>
To: crackmonkey@zork.net
Subject: [crackmonkey] Courtesy of the Joint Scandinavian Public Relations Office

NASA Procedures for Viking Attacks


Subject: Procedure for Viking Attack 

Procedure to Follow in the Event That Building 245 is Attacked by Vikings 

Since the decline of the Carolingian Empire in the 10th century, Building 
245 of the NASA Ames Research Center has been subject to periodic raids 
by Viking marauders. These marauders generally attack in search of gold, 
religious coins, and other forms of plunder. The NASA Ames Barbarian 
Affairs Office has established the following procedures for defense 
against Viking raids: 

Defense Against Viking Raids 

1.0  Complete a DARC-820AD - 'Identifying a Barbarian Attack' - to
     determine if the visitors are Viking raiders. 

  1.1  Are the strangers wearing weapons, helmets, and armor? 

  1.2  Do the strangers lack trade goods or other evidence that they 
       might only be peaceful merchants? 

  1.3  Do the strangers have NASA Ames visitor ID badges? 

    1.31 If so, do these badges identify the visitors as Viking raiders? 

2.0  Fill out Viking Raid Logbook in Division Office. 

3.0  Complete an FF-1066AD - 'Report of Viking Raid' 

  3.1  Section I - Identity of the attackers 

    3.11 Nationality (if not Norwegian, Swedish, Danish, or Frisian, 
         check 'Other'). 

    3.12 Name of leader (include name of family and clan) 

    3.13 Under 'Religion' check either 'Pagan' or 'Converted'. 

  3.2  Section II - Program Office Review 

    3.21 Check 'Unclassified'. 

    3.22 Originating NASA Organization (NASA Ames Research Center/SST). 

    3.23 Type in Division Chief. 

    3.24 Type in Mail Code under 'Office Code'. 

    3.25 Type in Mail Code under 'Program Office and Code'. 

  3.3  Write cover letter to NASA Headquarters. 

4.0  Assemble the FF-1066AD package. Separate and assemble the FF-1066AD,
     with four (4) copies of cover letter as follows: 

  4.1  First Page (white) - attach cover letter to the back. On the side,
       write: DO/218-2. 

  4.2  Second Page (green) - attach cover letter to the back. On the side,
       write: S/200-7. 

  4.3  Third Page (pink) - attach cover letter to the back. On the side,
       write: SS/245-1. 

  4.4  Fourth Page (yellow) - attach cover letter to the back. On the side,
       write: Branch Code and Mail Stop (SST/245-3). 

5.0  Finish DARC-820AD - staple copies of letter to Headquarters (Step
      3.3) to the back. 

6.0  Forward DARC-820AD and FF-1066AD package to Division Office for
     signatures. 

  6.1  Division Chief will forward DARC-820AD and letters to secretary, 
       to file in author's file. 

  6.2  Division Office will sign FF-1066AD, date all copies, and 
       forward them as follows: 

    6.21 Original: to Document Control Clerk. 

    6.22 Others: to Branch Office and Directorate Office. 

7.0  Take refuge in the hills until the raiders are gone. 

-- 
Cheers,                                     The Viking's Reminder:
Rick Moen                                   Pillage first, _then_ burn.
rick (at) hugin.imat.com