Subject: keew siht gnidnapxe spots esrevinU ehT
From: [email-masked] (John Atkinson)
Date: Sat, 31 Jan 98 19:30:03 EST
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny

_New Scientist_ has a competition each year in which
readers are invited to let their dreams unfold and
tell the world the headline they would most like to
see (in _New Scientist_) in the year to come.

Here are this year's winners:

Pope Joan-Paula I approves new contraceptive
(Valerie Moyses).

Indestrooktibul spel chequer virrus on rimpoge
(Cheryl Chapman).

Time travel to be discovered next year (J. White).

Statisticians show that 80 per cent of damned lies
are true (J. White).

Found--the gene that causes belief in genetic
determinism (Stephen Thompson).

Water into wine--ancient catalyst rediscovered (Ray
Heaton).

I learnt touch typing in utero, says fetus (Helena
Petre).

Half-dead cat found in box--RSCPA seeks Austrian
scientist (Peter Rowland).

Tony Blair cloned--regional assemblies to get one
each (George Oldham).

"Dolly" Thatcher wins 10 seats in Parliament (Kevin
Ennis).

Fleischman and Pons awarded Nobel prize (Kevin
Ennis)

Mir operating manual discovered behind refrigerator
in Moscow supermarket (Alastair Johnson).

The Universe stops expanding this week--keew siht
gnidnapxe spots esrevinU ehT (Raymond Broersma).

Butterflies exterminated in Sumatra--"We WILL stop
hurricanes," vows Clinton (Bonnie Ralph).

Genetically spliced yeast makes old malt whisky from
remaindered books (Ronald Smith).

Meteorite hits lottery winner (Patrick Rowley). 

Fermat's last memo discovered--"Sod the margin,
look on the other side of the page" (Chris Moore).

Goodbye Dolly--biotechnology triumph mown down
by tourist's car (Richard Collender).

"Face" on Mars proves to be optical illusion--NASA
now investigating "vase" on Mars (Bruce Alcorn).

Immune system boosted by real ale (Gerald Leach).

Microsoft help helps (Mike Haslam).

"Guilt" gene isolated and destroyed--millions enjoy
Christmas (Melissa Lewis)

[Note - reprinted by permission of _New Scientist_.  My thanks to them for
	their cooperation - ed.]

-- 
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This joke's link: http://comedy.clari.net/rhf/jokes/98/Jan/headlines.html