[This was posted to the rec.humor.funny newsgroup by some obviously very bored U.C. Berkeley students, amazed with the slowness of Internet access over Sprinklink, compared to the much faster on-campus network.] Inspired by Sprintlink's service, and written by 3 very creative guys: (apologies to whoever wrote the real song) Oh, the network outside is frightful, But on campus, it's so delightful, Our packets have nowhere to go, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow. It doesn't show signs of stopping, All our packets, our hosts are dropping; Bandwidth is turned way down low, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow. When we finally connect to a site, It's time to go back to the dorm; But if I could stay here all night, I could submit their Web form. The network is slowly dying, And, I fear, we're still denying, But as long as Sprint is the way to go, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow. -(new lyrics by kube, bhchan, ekim, & norby) kube@csua.berkeley.edu bhchan@csua.berkeley.edu ekim@csua.berkeley.edu norby@csua.berkeley.edu