From: griffith@netcom.com (Jim Griffith)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: Breaking news story
Keywords: topical, chuckle
Date: Wed, 9 Jul 97 3:20:01 EDT


	AIR FORCE DENIES STORIES OF UFO CRASH

	Valles Marineris (MPI) - A spokesthing for Mars Air Force denounced
	as false rumors that an alien space craft crashed in the desert,
	outside of Ares Vallis on Friday.  Appearing at a press conference
	today, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser, stated that "the object was, in
	fact, a harmless high-altitude weather balloon, not an alien
	spacecraft".

	The story broke late Friday night when a major stationed at nearby
	Ares Vallis Air Force Base contacted the Valles Marineris Daily
	Record with a story about a strange, balloon-shaped object which
	allegedly came down in the nearby desert, "bouncing" several times
	before coming to a stop, "deflating in a sudden explosion of alien
	gases".  Minutes later, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser contacted the
	Daily Record telepathically to contradict the earlier report.

	General Rgrmrmy The Lesser stated that hysterical stories of a
	detachable vehicle roaming across the Martian desert were blatant
	fiction, provoked by incidences involving swamp gas.  But the
	general public has been slow to accept the Air Force's explanation
	of recent events, preferring to speculate on the "other-worldly"
	nature of the crash debris.  Conspiracy theorists have condemned
	Rgrmrmy's statements as evidence of "an obvious government
	cover-up", pointing out that Mars has no swamps.

------
[I finally got one accepted!  My thanks to stevelan@pogo.WV.TEK.COM (Steve
 Lancaster), who came up with the idea - Jim]

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