The Top Ten Lines You'll Never Hear
                     On Star Trek: The Next Generation.
                     -----------------------------------

               (unabridged; compliments of The ECHO  491-7695)

10) Worf: Klingons do _NOT_ play tiddlywinks!

9) Picard: It's too bad we don't live in an enlightened, civilized era Like
they had in the 20th century.

8) Geordi: Did you hear Wesley almost got kicked out of the Academy again?
They caught him smoking pot!

   Data: (Looks puzzeled) Pot? (Brightens) Ah. Marijuana--a narcotic obtained
from the hemp plant Cannabis. Weed, Mary Jane, Grass, Reefer, Panama Red, ...

7) Troi: (To someone she is counseling) You've obviously mistaken me for
someone who cares! Now get out!!

6) Worf: Ouch! I've got a paper cut!

5) A Starfleet Admiral: Don't worry about it, Picard, there's plenty of other
ships in your quadrant.

4) Riker: Not tonight--I have a headache.

3) Worf: Do we have to beam down right now? The Smurfs are on subspace T.V.!

2) Geordi: We've modified the Warp Coils by reversing the polarity of the
Inverse Geometric Phase Integrator and adding a broad-band Neutrino Flux
Generator to the Hyper-Magnetic Field controls.
   Riker: What will that do?
   Geordi: Not a damn thing, but it sure as Hell _sounds_ impressive!

1) Picard: Oh, screw the hailing frequencies! Fire all Phasers!