Date: Sat Jul 16 1994 13:54:58 From: Rick Moen To: Chris Mangus Subj: Re: Skeptibunker's creed. UFO ------------------------------- Here's an article I wrote about a kinda-sorta hoax that I carried out last year on Compu$erve (although nothing I said was incorrect, and I never actually mislead anyone). Some might enjoy it: IT'S ALL A PLOT by Rick Moen One of the more diverting places on CompuServe (the international data service) is the Paranormal Issues section. Just type "GO ISSUES", pick section #10 (Paranormal Issues), and you're there, looking at hundreds of public messages on a motley collection of topics. (Cue Rod Serling voice, here.) You have now entered a dimension of weird claims and bizarre responses. You have entered. . . The Conspiracy Zone. Now, one would think that, in a fringe-science forum, conspiracy theorising would mostly revolve around the Roswell/Secorro/Corona 1947 crashed-saucer claims. Indeed, much of it does, but, possibly because of an emphasis on political issues elsewhere in this forum, a curious obsession with JFK assassination theories not only regularly takes over the message section, but also -- to my utter fascination -- spills over into Roswell discussions. What we're talking about here are theories even wilder than gonzo UFOlogist Bill Cooper's assertion that JFK's driver had turned around and shot him: We're talking _weird_. Now, I was present, off and on, as Mr. Token Skeptic ("Toke", for short), and tended to annoy many of the regulars -- who have us skeptics all figured out -- by being reasonable and pleasant. (They hate it when you do that.) As the theories got progressively wilder, a sudden thought occurred to me, and I mentioned it: All sufficiently large-scale conspiracy theories are interchangeable: If you think big, you can overcome absolutely any problem of evidence, by simply inventing a larger conspiracy: Absence of evidence proves how effective They are at concealing it. Contrary evidence shows that They are spreading disinformation. Anyone contradicting you is obviously one of Them. The response? I might as well have tried to make a splash in day-old concrete. Nobody noticed a word of the foregoing. So, I decided to make my point in a way that _would_ get attention: The JFK conspiracy messages I'd seen on Paranormal Issues, I said, were interesting, but there was an element curiously missing -- the NSA. The National Security Agency, a Federal institution many times larger than the CIA, is charged with all U.S. government communications security and signals intelligence, and is heavily interconnected with the business of other intelligence agencies. Yet, none of the theorists on "Issues" had mentioned it at all. Isn't that odd, I asked. I remarked that I could think of only three alternative explanations for this strange omission: 1. NSA was so very good at covering up its involvement in the JFK affair that, even though our resident theorists had sniffed out nefarious skullduggery in the FBI, CIA, Secret Service, etc., NSA had eluded them -- in spite of NSA's mammoth size and importance. This I said sounded unlikely. 2. NSA had its hands so clean, and had so little connection with or knowledge of the conspiracy efforts of other Feds -- again, in spite of its size and involvement with other agencies -- that there was nothing for our intrepid conspiracy-finders to uncover. Once more, I said this wasn't too plausible. 3. The only reason our theorists omitted NSA is that they actually knew next to nothing about intelligence affairs, and so, like most Americans, didn't even think of the NSA because they knew little about it. This would of course call into question what business they had commenting on intelligence matters in the first place. At this point, I sat back to watch. Wouldn't the forum regulars smell a skeptical rat? I rather expected they would. Toke was having some pretty obvious fun with them, having, after all, teased them a little in the past. Well, no, that's not quite what happened. Instead, several of the regulars took the concept and ran with it -- popping up newer, grander conspiracy theories that now included a role for the NSA. Now, I got my chance to underline dramatically the point I'd tried to make earlier: The conspiracy buffs had just dealt with an evidential obstacle _by expanding their theories_. This, I explained, was the trait that made large-scale conspiracy theories worthless -- and interchangeable: If there were evidence that proved them wrong, the theorists would never see that as long as they continued to finesse away all problems via newer and bigger plots. I didn't expect to be thanked for this insight, but wasn't quite prepared for the howls and imprecations that ensued: Mean Toke. Bad Toke. You fooled us! Oh, the horror, and so on. It went downhill from there: Within the week, word was out that this Moen fellow told _deliberate lies_ in order to sow _disinformation_ among honest, solid-citizen conspiracy buffs. He's one of those rotten shifty- eyed skeptic types, probably on the government payroll and definitely one of Them. Never mind whether what I said _made sense_. What was important was whether I could be personally trusted, after committing the crime of tricking people -- and, worse, admitting it. (That said people had been come out looking foolish in public was, of course, mere coincidence.) Anyhow, I wanted to welcome you, the reader, to The Conspiracy. The pay isn't great, and we have troubles keeping our story straight, but it's good to be on the side of the heavy guns, isn't it? Be sure not to tell anyone, though. - end -