Date: Thu, 1 Apr 1999 19:23:39 -0800 From: Seth David Schoen To: crackmonkey@crackmonkey.org Subject: [crackmonkey] Linux activist installs internal modem Chris J. DiBona writes: > HAr de har har. You'll use DG/UX when Rick uses an internal modem. Linux activist installs internal modem: Rick Moen says the time has come for change SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- Noted Linux activist Rick Arthur Moen has installed an internal modem. "For many years, I insisted that internal modems were worse than worthless," say Moen, the widely-respected founder of the Bay Area Linux Events page. "But I've come to realize that the $4 computer users can save by purchasing such hardware is a significant savings, enough to offset all of the disadvantages and make me recommend internal modems." Moen, who previously maintained a web page criticizing internal modems on various grounds, said he had altered his web page to remove his criticisms, and announced that "the time has finally come" for Linux users to adopt the controversial technology. External modems, Moen now argues, "are bulky, draw too much power, are aesthetically unappealing, and keep you awake at night with their incessantly flashing lights." Modem manufacturers congratulated Moen on the realization. "We've long been emphasizing to our customers that there was no difference between our internal and external offerings," said Chip Sett, spokesman for the Modem Vendors' Institute. "America's modem vendors are committed to producing modems of consistent, equal quality for all our customers, whether they choose to use our internal or external models. Those agents of division who try to sow discord by setting one type of modem against each other are now being defeated; public opinion is turning against them and in favor of a broad recognition of the fundamental equality of all our modems." Coffee manufacturers, however, expressed indignation that their supply of raw materials might soon be depleted. Protests by crowds of resellers of coffee products were expected for San Francisco's Harrison Street. "We've come to rely on discarded internal modems as a major component of our supply of surprisingly strong espresso," commented Kay Fiend, spokeswoman for the National Association of Bay Area Surprisingly Strong Espresso Dealers. "On the advice of activists like Moen, computer users have routinely ground up their useless internal modems and sold them at wholesale to the coffee industry. This is a major setback for us; despite Mr. Moen's unfortunate change of heart, we remain convinced that internal modems are much better used as beverages than as telecommunications devices." Moen, however, argues that the Surprisingly Strong Espresso Dealers are concerned only with their bottom line: "These people have a clear economic interest in retaining their access to a plentiful supply of cheap ground modems. People ought to take their opinion with a grain of silicon." Most members of the Linux community applauded Moen's decision to endorse internal modems. "This is a great step forward for our community," said Theodore T'so, original author of many of the Linux serial drivers. "I hope Mr. Moen will now take the next step and set aside his personal vendetta against so-called 'Winmodems'." (Winmodems are modem devices which require software control to function; some Linux advocates, including Moen, have criticized their reliance on proprietary Windows-only software drivers in order to function, a criticism T'so called "groundless".) Not everyone was impressed by Moen's change of heart, however. Some Bay Area Linux users continued to insist that internal modems were inferior, due to factors such as their lack of Light-Emitting Diodes (LEDs), commonly used as a status or diagnostic tool. And Dr. Seymour Conn, chief technical advisor for the Electronics Industry Association, said that the ability to tell what a modem was doing simply by looking at it was "a major advantage of more sophisticated peripherals, which the public will not relinquish easily." Ian Kluft, vice president of the Silicon Valley Linux Users Group, insisted that Moen was on the right track: "Most of today's external modems are much too complicated. Our new Linux users are not rocket scientists. They can't be expected to search through complex technical manuals in order to learn to read indicators on their modems. Internal modems simplify life by keeping that complexity and confusing display out of the user's view." Late Thursday, Moen was putting his new advocacy to the test by replacing all of his external modems with new internal models. "I thought that, if I'm going to tell other people they should be eliminating pricey and distracting external modems from their lives, I ought to set a good example by cutting them out of mine," Moen said, as he struggled to open a tiny mini-tower case to install the circuit board, a top-of-the-line internal Boca Modem. At press time, Moen was unavailable for further comment on the results of his undertaking. A CABAL spokesman said that Moen was still in the process of attempting to configure PPP, a widely used Internet protocol, and would be finished "any minute now." -- Seth David Schoen / schoen@uclink4.berkeley.edu He said, "This is what the king who will reign over you will do." And they said, "Nay, but we will have a king over us, that we also may be like all the nations." (1 Sam 8) http://ishmael.geecs.org/~sigma/ http://www.loyalty.org/ ===================================================================== To unsubscribe, send a message to majordomo@zork.net saying "unsubscribe crackmonkey" in the body of the message.