Subject: Re: Question.
From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Date: 2000/05/15
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email, news.admin.net-abuse.misc

In article <[email-masked]>, 
[email-masked] (John F Hall) wrote:

> I agree that the Internet is like a "spoken" medium - I certainly use
> colloquial language when using it.

Right.  The medium lends itself to that.  Less formal than writing a
letter, but not quite as conversational as the telephone (at least yet).  

> I think though the resistance to "spam" is more than that.  I have a
> definite sense that the junk e-mails are entering my "personal space"
> in a way that other advertising - not even TV advertising that is
> equally entering my home - does not.  I'm not sure why it is - partly
> it's the intrusion, that I can't go on until the mail has been
> handled, but also because it does attempt to be "personalised".  As I
> said in another message last week, the use of my first name, etc., by
> a total stranger doesn't make me feel "closer" - rather, I regard it
> as an impertinence, and it simply grates and annoys.

It takes time to build a relationship to the point of being able to work
on a first-name basis.

Let me give you the caveman example:  Og and his tribe are sitting
around the campfire, telling stories.  Suddenly, Lorto, a spammer from
an nearby tribe, bursts into the campfire circle, stomps out the fire,
and shouts[1]:

     FREE E-COMMERCE WHEN YOU HOST WITH US!!
 
     Tired of expensive e-commerce software, set up fees and 
     leasing contracts? Here is the deal: You host your site 
     with us and you get free E-Commerce, including a merchant
     account, real-time software and shopping cart.
 
     NO ONE CAN BEAT OUR PRICE! IF YOU FIND A BETTER DEAL FOR
     OUR PACKAGE ANYWHERE ELSE, WE WILL MATCH OUR COMPETITOR'S
     PRICE PLUS GIVE YOU THE FIRST MONTH FOR FREE.

and so forth, finally ending with:

     In addition you get a FREE listing in our mall and FREE
     advertising to promote your store. We drive traffic to
     your site and help you to become a successful online
     business.
 
     Please reply to:
 
     mailto:[email-masked]?subject=INFO-PLEASE to receive 
     our FREE e-mail information package without obligations.
 
     *********************************************************
     Remove at mailto:[email-masked]?subject=remove
     *********************************************************

Now the mood of the evening is disrupted, the fire is out, and, to boot,
before departing, Lorto pissed in the water supply.  In the time of Og's
tribe, this was tantamount to a declaration of war.

Og's tribe aren't particularly warlike, so they try to reason with
Lorto.  Lorto's reply is puzzling:

"Hey, if you don't like my message, just ignore it.  Spam is safe for
the environment, and my stomping out your fire helps save trees!  I
thought that was your piss bucket, so sue me!  That's where I keep
mine!"

So, the next time Lorto charges into Og's camp, he gets a rather rude
surprise:  He can hardly begin his spew before a half-dozen members of
the tribe hold him down, while the rest beat him senseless with mallets.
Lorto goes screaming into the night vowing revenge:

    "XXX BARELY LEGAL TEENAGE BABES WANT YOUR HOT LUST XXX"

Spam isn't about content, but there is a LOT to say about the unwanted
nature of spam content.

Experiment:  Sitting at your computer, measure the distance between your
monitor and the tip of your nose.  Now, have a friend stand with his/her
nose exactly that distance from you.  Have him/her shout that first
blockquote above at you from that location.  Imagine a total stranger
doing that.  The point here is that, when you sit at your computer, the
monitor is INSIDE your personal space, just as a person would be if
standing that same distance from you.  That is why spam FEELS intrusive.
You MUST deal with it, or NOT remain in front of the monitor.

That, is why spam feels so bad.

> I have also found that my toleration of junk phone calls has dropped
> sharply, since I started receiving junk e-mails.

My ire at phone solicitation is at an all-time high.  However, I receive
remarkably little since beginning the practice of logging on to the 'net
during dinner.  I should note that a move is underway in WA state to
extend the anti-spam laws:  The new laws would also cover phone
solicitation, and increase the protection of private information (by
making the sale of lists of addresses illegal).  VERY tough law.

-Og
-- 
"I believe my theory of relativity to be true. But it will only be proved for 
certain in 1981, when I am dead."                Albert Einstein (1879-1955).
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Og, Caveman BOFH sysadmin.                   "Respectibus lartus malleus Og."

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: [C&C] Warning: Re: Request for Comment "alt.fan.og" 
Newsgroups: alt.config, news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/05/10 

In article <[email-masked]>, Dave Lugo 
<[email-masked]> wrote:

[Good story by Lugo snipped]

Lugo sound'm good caveman name.  Mean'm that compliment.  That true
story his, too.  Different Og, though.  Og tribe not invent lie.   No
caveman use name "Lorto" after that.

Og  (Cave Tech Support/Abuse Minion)

-- 
===========
Og, Caveman                     | "Og use'm stick, scratch dirt, make html."
Og have stone mallet.           |                            --  Dave Lugo in
Og member Lumber Cartel (TINLC) | Message-ID: <[email-masked]>

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: [C&C] Warning: Re: Request for Comment "alt.fan.og" 
Newsgroups: alt.config, news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/05/10 

In article <[email-masked]>, Aussie 
<[email-masked]> wrote:

> WARNING: The following is covered under C&C for your protection.
> 
> Now THAT'S what you _should_ have put at the top of this post as well
> as including the [C&C] warning in the title.  You owe me a new
> keyboard!
> 
> Aussie

Og give long speech.  You sit.  Og tell.

Og tribe not have coffee.  
Og tribe not have cats.  
Og not have keyboard.  (Og use point-and-grunt.)
Og forget give warning.  Og sorry.

Where Og ship new keyboard to?  (Og not have keyboard, mind you.  Og
must carve from stone.)

Og not sure "alt.config" tribe know what "C&C" mean.
Og not care.  Og not explain.

Og read on "alt.config":
"Duplicates alt.romath".
Not happy Og. 
Not read "alt.romath", not find on news server.

Og look for better news server.
Og shall see if duplicates.
Somehow, Og not think so.

Og do 'ego-surf' of search engines.
Just say "Caveman Og" at search engines.
Og popular.  Happy Og.
Og like dancing caveman page.
You go try.
Help that all caveman name "Og".

Og not get spam through UUNet today.
Og not get spam through PSI today.
Og not even get spam through AOL today.
Happy Og.

Og LART on anonymizing open relay server with Og stone mallet.
Og hate open relay.  Swing mallet hard.
Og not waste bandwidth cross-posting headers.  You take Og word.
"alt.config" thank Og now, for not cross-posting that.

Og note that if created, "alt.fan.og" fall right after 
"alt.fan.noam-chomsky".  Also fall right before "alt.fan.oingo-boingo".  
Og think that enough reason to create "alt.fan.og", by itself.

Og go work on Og FAQ and Og charter now.
Og not write full proposal yet for alt.fan.og.
When Og do write, Og GET newsgroup.
No one object.  Your server carry Og group.

--Og

-- 
===========
Og, Caveman                     | "Og use'm stick, scratch dirt, make html."
Og have stone mallet.           |                            --  Dave Lugo in
Og member Lumber Carter (TINLC) | Message-ID: <[email-masked]>

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: Request for Comment "alt.fan.og" 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/05/10 

Og say if you tribe have coffee, and you tribe keep cat, put coffee
down, and shoo cat away.  Og know Og make'm you laugh, spill coffee on
cat and keyboard.  You see'm post from Og, you assume you also see'm
this warning.  Og not warn again.  Og not want ship another stone
keyboard to Australia.

In article <[email-masked]>, Rob Mitchell 
<[email-masked]> wrote:

> In article <[email-masked]>,
>   Brian McNett <[email-masked]> wrote:
> 
>> I hear Og is an anti-spammer.  Is this true?
>> --------------------------------------------
>>
>> Og tribe not invent lie.  Og hate spam.
>>
>> Og subscribe'm RBL.  Og have stone mallet.  You not send Og e-mail he
>> not want'm.  Og burn down Internet connection of spammer.  Hit
>> spammer with stone mallet.  ISP let spammer spam, not close'm
>> account, Og hit ISP with stone mallet, burn ISP down, leave smoking
>> ruin!
>>
>> You spam'm Og newsgroup, Og put you USENET dead!
> 
> Ooommm, me like.  Me want join Og & use big stone mallet not little
> pansy-ass wooden mallet & bash chickenboner down into crater like
> dinosaur dung-hole.
> 
> Rob

Spammer head too hard, wooden mallet break.  Og know.  Og tribe have
spammer once.  Og use wooden mallet.  Wooden mallet not work on
cave-spammer.  Og use stone mallet.  Now, no spammer in Og tribe.

Og show you make stone mallet.  Og have stone.  Og have stick.  Og have
rope.  Og tie rock to stick with rope, seal with sap from tree.  Og make
mallet.  Mallet Og tool.

You have rock.  You have stick.  You have rope.  You make mallet just
like Og.  Now mallet you tool.

Later Og teach'm you how build own Linux box.  How configure'm sendmail.
Og teach'm in e-mail, though.  This off-topic for NANAE.

Og go LART on open relay server again!  When spammer ever learn not spam
Og?  Og was BOFH before gods make'm hell!

--Og

-- 
===========
Og, Caveman                     |  "Og use'm stick, scratch dirt, make html."
Og have stone mallet.           |                            --  Dave Lugo in
Og member Lumber Cartel (TINLC) | Message-ID: <[email-masked]>

From: Suresh Ramasubramanian ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: C&C Never Troll'm Og (was: Re: "Epidemic" is cured) 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/06/22 

Ereshkigal proclaimed in
<[email-masked]>: 

>In article
><[email-masked]>, Caveman OG wrote: 
>>I kindly suggest that you start begging forgiveness *now*,
>>rather than having to plead mercy *later*.
>>
>>--Og 

>*sigh*  Will you marry me?  ;)  I like a man with a large......LART. 

Og's been asked this question several times before - and I 
believe he's already got a _very_ jealous spear-thrower.  ;)

And yeah, his... LART is king^H^H^H^H caveman-sized.  ;)

-- 
Suresh Ramasubramanian + Lumber Cartel - India <tinlcI>
mallet @ cluestick.org + Wallopus Malletus Indigenensis
        You spamma my mailbox, I nukea da ass.

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: I feel so special! I made Andy's list! 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/06/25 

In article <[email-masked]>, 
Shakib Otaqui wrote:

[something FAR too literate for Spamdrew to understand]

Now Stanford would understand "Mikado", but for Brunner it'll have to be
"HMS Pinafore".

Avalanche Professional (with apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan)

<Andrew>
I have a program that I wrote called Avalanche Professional:
For bulk e-mail delivery, one-hundred-percent successful.
For bulk e-mail delivery, one-hundred-percent successful:
I have a program that I wrote called Avalanche Professional.

<chorus>
For bulk e-mail delivery one-hundred-percent successful:
He has a program that he wrote called Avalanche Professional.

<Andrew>
The filters at your ISP my software can evade them.
If "antis" on NANAE complain, I'll happily lawsuit them
"Paul Vixie and his RBL" that man is my competitor;
You'll see my day in court will come, I'll sue you all you lousy bums....

<Andrew>
I have a program that I wrote called Avalanche Professional:
For bulk e-mail delivery, one-hundred-percent successful.
For bulk e-mail delivery, one-hundred-percent successful:
I have a program that I wrote called Avalanche Professional.

<chorus>
For bulk e-mail delivery, one-hundred-percent successful:
He has a program that he wrote called Avalanche Professional.

--Og
-- 
"I would love to be quoted as being hated  |               Mike Godwin,
 by Martha Siegel. That would make my day."|          EFF Legal Counsel
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Og, Caveman, sysadmin.  CyberCreek Avalanche is 1000% illegal spamware.

From: Paul Anderson ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: n00 Minion, Redux! 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/08/27 

On Sat, 26 Aug 2000, Caveman Og wrote:

> In article <[email-masked]>, Afterburner 
> <[email-masked]> wrote:
> 
>> Calavera
> 
> Og think am reference to "Grim Fandango" from Lucas Arts.
> 
> Og think am too many references to "Calavera" online.  Not come up
> with answer using search engine.
> 
> Welcome, Calavera.
> 
> Now, we must kick off this welcome in grand NANAE style (tingnanaes).
> 
> I propose a polite thermonuclear exchange, just to warm things up a
> bit.
> 
> Then, we can all tell cute cat stories.
> 
> Paul Anderson can recite a limerick.

Og toys with me; spare Calavera.
Egyptians were thinking of Hera.
His pleas to the gods,
Against all the odds,
Were useless, you see, I'm from Terra.

<I'm going to hell for this ;-) >

Laetificus maximus, Og.
Accendo ferveo, philog.         (Okay, you be better)
Alienari multo,
Abeo aliquando.
Quisquiliae talis de Og.

> Suresh and I will exchange quips in Latin.
> 
> Bits and pieces of the old "New Minion" threads will be resurrected,
> as we demonstrate to Calavera the depths of our (tino) hospitality on
> NANAE.
> 
> /me hands a spear to Calavera.
> 
> Oop! this is news, not chat, sorry.  Here, take this spear.
> 
> --Og

-- 
No matter what you say,
No matter what you do:
You are annoying,
BOFH, and proud.

From: Caveman Og ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: NOTICE: KELLYFREEHOLD.COM SPAM "JOE JOB" 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2001-02-06 17:52:52 PST 

In article <[email-masked]>, [email-masked] 
wrote:

> So what is spammer half-life exactly?

Before, or AFTER Og nuke'm?

--Og

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: "Gotcha beat, I use a porcupine quill and inkwell..." [Re: ALL ANTI_SPAMMERS READ THIS!] 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/05/10 

In article <[email-masked]>, "Clifton T. Sharp Jr." 
<[email-masked]> wrote:

> Brian McNett wrote:
>> Og go stake cave-loan spammer at base of cliff.  Make stampede of
>> wild oxen over cliff.
> 
> Cliff objects.

Ha, Ha!  Not you, Cliff!  This thread go on too long.

--Og

-- 
===========
Og, Caveman                     | "Og use'm stick, scratch dirt, make html."
Og have stone mallet.           |                            --  Dave Lugo in
Og member Lumber Cartel (TINLC) | Message-ID: <[email-masked]>

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: Spammer multi-subscribed me to listservs 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email, news.admin.net-abuse.misc
Date: 2000/05/11 

In article <[email-masked]>, Ron Ritzman 
<[email-masked]> wrote:

> If badman take Og balls lay them on tree stump flatten with big
> stone make Og scream and yell Og be kook too.

Og say:

SHUT UP, RITZMAN!!!

Okay, Og see why spammer always become kook.

Og still want Ritzman shut up.

--Og

Og tribe not invent "evil", not invent lie.  Any of Og tribe do bad,
tell lie, Og send into darkness, where there be much gnashing of teeth.
Og put Og mark on bad man, no other tribe take.

-- 
===========
Og, Caveman                     | "Og use'm stick, scratch dirt, make html."
Og have stone mallet.           |                            --  Dave Lugo in
Og member Lumber Cartel (TINLC) | Message-ID: <[email-masked]>

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: Spammer multi-subscribed me to listservs 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email, news.admin.net-abuse.misc
Date: 2000/05/12 

In article <[email-masked]>, Doug Jacobs 
<[email-masked]> wrote:

> Og?  From /.?
> 
> (hope so...it'll be good to have you here.  I'm sure when you get
> malleted by a caveman...you stay malleted. :)

No.  Og not from /.  Oog from /.  Og see why you get confused.  Og know
Oog.  Him troll, study under Ritzman, Og suspect.

--Og
-- 
Fear Og.  Og have root.  Not fear Og, Og teach you fear.
========================================================
Og, Caveman                     | "Og use'm stick, scratch dirt, make html."
Og have stone mallet.           |                            --  Dave Lugo in
Og member Lumber Cartel (TINLC) | Message-ID: <[email-masked]>

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: Spammer multi-subscribed me to listservs 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email, news.admin.net-abuse.misc
Date: 2000/05/12 

In article <[email-masked]>, Doug Jacobs 
<[email-masked]> wrote:

> At least Og not post in ALL CAPS like he (or his namesake) did on /. .
> 
> The weird thing was...it actually worked.  Combined with his posting
> style, it made his posts look incredibly clueless, but underneath
> lurked wisdom.

Poster on /. name Oog.  Not Og.  Not share Og posting style.

Og like Slashdot.  Make CmdrTaco honorary caveman.  Og hack source-code
for Slash.  Ugh, that sound like thing caveman do, yes?

--Og
-- 
Fear Og.  Og have root.  Not fear Og, Og teach you fear.
========================================================
Og, Caveman                     | "Og use'm stick, scratch dirt, make html."
Og have stone mallet.           |                            --  Dave Lugo in
Og member Lumber Cartel (TINLC) | Message-ID: <[email-masked]>

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: C&C Re: Feel the love 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/05/11 

Remember, this is Og.  Put down drink and shoo cat away.

In article <[email-masked]>, 
Robert Haneberg <[email-masked]> wrote:

> Og forget that spamhavens that stupid, too.  They encourage abuse of
> own resources.  Apparently stuck in cave with no flint.

Og not forget.  Og just boggle how stupid spammer is.  How stupid
spamhaus is.  How stupid spamhaven is.  Og thought there was such thing
as "evolution".  How all these stupid people still alive?  Og boggle.
Boggle Og.

===
Og not provide tech support for luser who get flint all wet.  You keep'm
flint dry, otherwise fire not work!

Og not provide tech support for luser who not keep fire in pit!  You let
fire out of pit, burn down whole forest.  Maybe burn down Og!  Og take
fire account away from luser, if Og find luser abusing fire!  Og not
care if chief say you have fire:  Og take you fire, you sleep in cold
cave!

Og make fire.
Place clay pot over fire. 
Place water in pot. 
Water boil make steam!

Og make little wheel.
Place little wheel over pot.
Steam turn Og wheel.
Og like.

Og find lodestone.
Lodestone attract iron.
That how Og know is lodestone.

Og find copper.
Og work copper into wire.
Og wrap wire into coil like snake.

Og place lodestone on wheel.
Wheel make Og lodestone spin.
Lodestone spin past Og copper-wire.
Og make lightning!

Tribe think Og is god.

--Og

Fear Og.  Og sysadmin.  Og has root.  Not fear Og, Og make you fear Og!
-- 
===========
Og, Caveman                     | "Og use'm stick, scratch dirt, make html."
Og have stone mallet.           |                            --  Dave Lugo in
Og member Lumber Cartel (TINLC) | Message-ID: <[email-masked]>

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: C&C Re: Feel the love 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/05/12 

In article <[email-masked]>, 
[email-masked] (Ronald D. Edge) wrote:

> Og from New Mexico, maybe?

Scary!  Fire burn Los Alamos Nuclear Lab!  Og tell'm you not let fire out 
of pit!!!  Why not listen Og?

-- 
Og motto:  Respectibus lartus malleus Og.
========================================================
Og, Caveman                     | "Og use'm stick, scratch dirt, make html."
Og have stone mallet.           |                            --  Dave Lugo in
Og member Lumber Cartel (TINLC) | Message-ID: <[email-masked]>

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: Feel the love 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/05/12 

In article <[email-masked]>, Rob Mitchell 
<[email-masked]> wrote:

>>> Since you have such a talent for it, have you ever considered giving
>>> language up altogether and just grunting and pointing?
> 
> Caveman OG says he has a point-and-grunt interface that works rather
> nicely.

Is still in prototype.  Run under Linux.  Run under BSD.  Soon, Og port
to Mac OS X.  On Linux or BSD, need X11, use KDE, GNOME, or
Enlightenment.  Require speech-recognition hardware.  (Og write his own
drivers for, make source open.)  Right now, is only work with Og grunts
(grunter dependency).  Point portion work wonderfully.  Is touch-screen.
Bit heavy-duty for caveman use, so hold up just fine. 

Og follow with whistle-and-click interface for dolphins.  You no laugh.
Dolphins smarter you.  Og observe dolphins implement full TCP/IP
protocol in dolphin vocal noises!  Dolphins do that as joke on Og.  Og
think this good joke!  Og find dolphin-speak too complex to model at
moment.  Dolphin's verbal abstraction layer require massive reverse
engineer.  Wait faster processing Og.

--Og
-- 
Fear Og.  Og have root.  Not fear Og, Og teach you fear.
========================================================
Og, Caveman                     | "Og use'm stick, scratch dirt, make html."
Og have stone mallet.           |                            --  Dave Lugo in
Og member Lumber Cartel (TINLC) | Message-ID: <[email-masked]>

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: Feel the love 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/05/12 

In article <[email-masked]>, [email-masked] 
(Kelly Thompson) wrote:

> I love Og.  Welcome to nanae, Og. 

Og thank.  Og lurk nanae long time.  Not post.

Og not too forward ask you throw spear good?  Og tribe need more good
spear-throwers!

--Og
-- 
Og motto:  Respectibus lartus malleus Og.
========================================================
Og, Caveman                     | "Og use'm stick, scratch dirt, make html."
Og have stone mallet.           |                            --  Dave Lugo in
Og member Lumber Cartel (TINLC) | Message-ID: <[email-masked]>

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: IP Tranz -- Another Trailer-Based Business Software
Solution from AMERICAINT.COM 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/05/13 

In article <[email-masked]>, Dave Lugo 
<[email-masked]> wrote:

> OG,
> 
> www.americaint.com appear'm multihomed 

[trace snipped]

Og think'm multihoming is good idea, in general.  In this case, LART'm
both!  LART'm Florida IP Access Group, too.

> I sent a LART to qwest.net, but the autobot response was rejected by
> my MTA; it seems that mail.arl.qwestip.net(205.171.7.9) is on the
> RSS....
>  
> http://maps.vix.com/cgi-bin/nph-rss?205.171.7.9

<spew!>  Qwest corporate on RSS!  ROFLMAO!  Og need'm get seat-belt for
chair!

-- 
Og motto:  Respectibus lartus malleus Og.
========================================================
Og, Caveman                     | "Og use'm stick, scratch dirt, make html."
Og have stone mallet.           |                            --  Dave Lugo in
Og member Lumber Cartel (TINLC) | Message-ID: <[email-masked]>

 From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
 Subject: C&C: Cave-Loan Spam 
 Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
 Date: 2000/05/12 

      [Warning:  This Og.  You put'm down drink and shoo'm cat
      away. Og say'm you do RIGHT NOW!  Og not responsible cat 
      rip'm shirt, you spew'm drink on keyboard!  Og not ship'm
      any more stone keyboards to Australia!]

Okay, Og get'm spam.  You know'm that, otherwise Og not here.  Today, Og 
get'm spam with HTML.  HTML so bad, not even display in HTML-enabled 
e-mail!  (Og use'm HTML-enabled e-mail only when want'm laugh.)

Og LART already fired.

Og not show'm spammer message.  Og troll'm!  Text is by Og, HTML is by 
spammer.  That REAL spammer HTML!  Og not fake'm!  Watch'm Og go!

<HTML><FONT  SIZE=3 PTSIZE=10>><BR><BR>
>Subject: Lower'm Monthly Payment, Consolidate'm Debt, Fast Giant
>Stone-Coin for Cave Imp.<BR>
><BR>
>We help'm!  Thousand program available for credit challenged as well as 
>good credit candidate.  Fill'm out short on line application  
><A HREF="http://www.mortgagequotetoday.com">http://www.mortgagequotetoday.com
></A>  and get'm free mortgage quote from cave-lender in you area 
>today!<BR>
><BR>
>CLICK'M HERE for fast Application <A HREF="http://www.mortgagequotetoday.com">
>http://www.mortgagequotetoday.com</A><BR>
><BR>
>Be remove from future mailing reply this e-mail<BR>
><BR>
>Under Bill s.1618 TITLE III pass by 105th U.S. Congress, you all'm 
>bunch of helpless sheep in face of us spammer as long we include'm 
>Contact information (even if bad contact information) and remove link 
>(not even have be real link'm), mailto:[email-masked]">
><BR>
><<BR>
><HTML>

--Og
-- 
Og motto:  Respectibus lartus malleus Og.
========================================================
Og, Caveman                     | "Og use'm stick, scratch dirt, make html."
Og have stone mallet.           |                            --  Dave Lugo in
Og member Lumber Cartel (TINLC) | Message-ID: <[email-masked]>

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: C&C: Cave-Loan Spam 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/05/13 

Okay, this still Og.  You watch'm cat, keep'm coffee on coaster!

In article <[email-masked]>, Tom Lane 
<[email-masked]> wrote:

> Um ... Og, isn't Latin a bit of an anachronism for you?

You not get'm.  Not anachronism, Og ATAVISM!  You look'm up (use'm OED,
best dictionary ever made)!  Og 12,000 year old!  All around Og change.
Og not change.  Og live'm through Roman Empire.  Og fight Rome with
Goths, overrun Rome.  Og practically RESPONSIBLE for entire "Dark Ages"
thing.  It need'm doing.  Og call'm it "tough love".  Romans make saying
about Og.  Og like'm saying.  Og make'm saying Og motto.  Mean'm "[You]
Respect [a] LART [from] mallet [of] Og".  (Actually, "malleus" mean
"maul".  Bigger than "mallet", which derive from former....  Oh, you not
need language lesson from caveman....)

See message: <[email-masked]>, where
Og make flaming crater of troll.  Og master of invective.  Og champion
of rhetoric.  (Og captain of neolithic debate team, back when Og in
school (mostly 'cause Og swing'm mean mallet).)  Og not have'm syntax
pat, but Og still well-speak'm.

Og really into whole "Darwinism" thing.  Og help'm "Darwin" along.  Og
call'm 'tough love'.  (See'm fall of Roman Empire, above.)  Sometime
mean'm push'm forward, sometime mean'm hold'm back.  Some time mean'm
wipe'm all out, start'm over.  Right now, Og fight'm spam.  Og work
protect'm network until network strong enough resist on own.  Spam not
be problem forever.  More to it, but Og not have time stop and teach.
Og take'm further discussion elsewhere.  Too off-topic for NANAE.

--Og
-- 
Og motto:  Respectibus lartus malleus Og.
========================================================
Og, Caveman                     | "Og use'm stick, scratch dirt, make html."
Og have stone mallet.           |                            --  Dave Lugo in
Og member Lumber Cartel (TINLC) | Message-ID: <[email-masked]>

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: C&C: Cave-Loan Spam 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/05/14 

In article <[email-masked]>, 
[email-masked] wrote:

> I thought the Y1K bug caused the Dark Ages!
> Og sounds suspiciously like Tonto, doesn't he?  :)

What you think'm Og do during year 999?  Try'm solve Y1K problem!  Only
not have'm TCP/IP networks:  Communicate'm too slow.  Word not get out
about bug until 1066!  What a year that was!

Who you think give'm actor speech coaching for Tonto role?  Real sound'm
Native American too well-spoken for movie studio.  Hollywood not care
insult'm Native American, want'm Tonto sound'm primitive.  Hire
real-live primitive teach'm.

--Og
-- 
Og motto:  Respectibus lartus malleus Og.
========================================================
Og, Caveman                     | "Og use'm stick, scratch dirt, make html."
Og have stone mallet.           |                            --  Dave Lugo in
Og member Lumber Cartel (TINLC) | Message-ID: <[email-masked]>

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: Is this Sam Kurhi? 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/05/14 

In article <[email-masked]>, Nohbody 
<[email-masked]> wrote:

> That's not to say someone couldn't have copied a Benchmark spam's
> boilerplate and appropriated it for his own use.  (Gee, a spammer
> stealing....  Who'da thunk it?</sarcasm>)

<pedant value="walloping" />Go'm back re-read'm XML DTD.  Not use'm
implied close tag correct.

<ObReference value="sarcasm">Spammer definition of success, circa 1994:
"Hey, AOL didn't sue me, I must be dong something right!"  Spammer
definition of success, circa 2000: "Hey, I got sued by just about
everyone, I must be doing something right!"</sarcasm>

Theory of evolution say if behavior is detrimental to individual, that
individual suffer.  Not produce many young.  Either change behavior, or
die.  Over time, fewer individual engage'm, behavior coded out gene
pool.  Over the long term, a genetic predisposition to the behavior will
be weeded out.

Internet speed'm evolution, make'm bad behavior exaggerated, and
obvious.

Spammers not copy scumbag Sam long:  Spammers copy, end up just like
Cantor & Seigel (not have'm 'net access from anyone, find'm kicked off
professional association).  Spammer's copy, end up like AGIS, end up
like Sanford.  (Sanford repent'm, but reputation already establish'm not
go away.)

Soon you not see'm any variety in spam at all.  Already you see'm
spammers you all same method try'm protect'm from public, place'm same
"murk" notice in spam, do'm same kook behavior when poke'm.

Spammers all evolve'm look same, write same, speak same (become'm very
easy to filter'm).  Become'm so inbred, they all die in next outbreak
"ILOVEYOU" virus!

--Og
-- 
Og motto:  Respectibus lartus malleus Og.
========================================================
Og, Caveman                     | "Og use'm stick, scratch dirt, make html."
Og have stone mallet.           |                            --  Dave Lugo in
Og member Lumber Cartel (TINLC) | Message-ID: <[email-masked]>

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: [C&C] Spammer wants complaint withdrawn 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/05/12 

Remember, this is Og.  Put down drink, shoo cat away.

In article <[email-masked]>, [email-masked] (Taki Kogoma) 
wrote:

> HERETIC!!!!

Og no heretic.  When Og make first mallet, Og not have ax, not able cut
tree, not able make mallet of wood only.  Og have rock, Og have stick,
Og have rope.  That way Og make first mallet.  Og plan make axe, cut
tree, make mallet only of wood.  But Og happy Og stone mallet.  Make axe
much work, spend all day pounding rock make it break just so.  Too much
work make ax just to have wooden mallet.  Og do make axe, but Og use axe
to create first lumber cartel (twnflc).

Beside, spammer head too hard.  Wood mallet break.  Now, Og mostly just
keep stone mallet as way remember old days.  Today Og want, Og go to
hardware store and buy STEEL mallet with cutting edge on one end and
carbon-fiber composite handle!  Store call'm sledge-maul!  Og like'm.
Make'm split lumber for cartel (TINLC) really easy.  How 'bout Og use
sledge-maul on spammer!  You still call'm heretic?  Og think not. 

Security at ISP see Og enter with sledge-maul, not stop Og.  You see
hairy 12,000-year-old man walk into your place, you not stop'm, either!
Og walk straight up to offending server and reprogram in most brutal way
possible!  Sometime Og send Og spear-throwing girl instead.[1]  Og not
do this often, not want create fuss over Og.  Do this so rarely, ISPs
not ever report Og sightings.  Og sysadmin these days, make same effect
not ever enter building.  If Og happen to you ISP, you ISP not know what
happen, never blame Og.

Spammer never say "Og killed my account", only "What the fsck!  My
account is now a smouldering crater!  How'd that happen?".  Og not put
up Web site invite spammer sue Og.  Spammer see Web site invite spammer
sue, spammer turn kook.  Very entertaining at first, but you see one
kook you see all kook.  Og know.  Og see every kook for last 12,000
year!

--Og

[1] Og take'm good care Og spear-throwing girl.  She still one really
hot babe!  Og tell'm truth.  Og tribe not invent lie.  Og not make
mistake, marry wrong woman, leave her, then find trophy wife in old age.
Og marry prize FIRST!

-- 
Fear Og.  Og have root.  Not fear Og, Og teach you fear.
========================================================
Og, Caveman                     | "Og use'm stick, scratch dirt, make html."
Og have stone mallet.           |                            --  Dave Lugo in
Og member Lumber Cartel (TINLC) | Message-ID: <[email-masked]>

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: [C&C] Spammer wants complaint withdrawn 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/05/12 

In article 
<[email-masked]>, 
[email-masked] wrote:

> It srikes me as funny when Og speaks with modern, instead of caveman
> language.  I visualize Og dressed in a suit and tie, massive hair
> combed neatly, and thick five-o'clock shadow on his face from shaving
> with flint and quartz.  Add shiny new and uncomfortable shoes.

Og not shave.  Og wear suit and tie, tie long white hair back, beard all
combed out, look'm like sing with ZZTop!

--Og
-- 
Fear Og.  Og have root.  Not fear Og, Og teach you fear.
========================================================
Og, Caveman                     | "Og use'm stick, scratch dirt, make html."
Og have stone mallet.           |                            --  Dave Lugo in
Og member Lumber Cartel (TINLC) | Message-ID: <[email-masked]>

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: [C&C] Spammer wants complaint withdrawn 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/05/12 

In article <[email-masked]>, [email-masked] 
(Alan Krueger) wrote:

> "She's got LARTs, she knows how to use them."

ROFLMAO!

Sound'm like Og spear-throwing girl!  Maybe Og sing'm and release as
MP3.

Og go WAY OT, this time...

-Og
-- 
Fear Og.  Og have root.  Not fear Og, Og teach you fear.
========================================================
Og, Caveman                     | "Og use'm stick, scratch dirt, make html."
Og have stone mallet.           |                            --  Dave Lugo in
Og member Lumber Cartel (TINLC) | Message-ID: <[email-masked]>

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: C&C Og recieve'm luser flame! 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/05/15 

In article <[email-masked]>, 
[email-masked] (Leah) wrote:

> That's the job I want!  Where do I send my resume? :}

{blush}  Job of Og-wife happily filled last 12,000 year.  Sorry.  Not
expect'm need fill vacancy long-time.  Or ever.

Og spear-throwing girl say'm just now she let'm Og appoint "honorary"
spear-thrower status to

**Og spear-thrower shove'm Og aside, take'm keyboard**

Listen up, girls!  Og spoken for.[1]  But you (tiny) prove'm you throw
spear, hit'm target.  You (tiny) prove'm on daily basis.  You (tiny)
probably not average'm pay as well as man in same job.  We (tsaalou!)
take'm many time more abuse, cause'm lusers think female is softer than
male (even female lusers).

You honorary spear-thrower if:

You female.
You sysdamin, abuse minion, or yes, even tech support.
You bigger, badder BOFH, than for any "real" value of B.
You speak'm sendmail, procmail, BIND, whois, trace, ping.
(List above not fully exclusive; you speak'm more, or speak'm
equivalent other tools, that make'm qualified, too.)
You count'm hexidecimal in sleep.
Own'm mallet.
(Above qualifications not all-inclusive.  You make'm good argue to me.)

Final qualification be'm spear-thrower:
You one hot techno-talkin babe! (for any value of "babe")

[1]Won this prize 12,000 year ago!  My trophy husband.

**Og get'm keyboard back**

Og swoon'm.  Og woman simply awesome.  Og smart, have'm "IQ" around 
170.  Spear-Thrower not even fit'm on IQ chart.  Og never condescend
woman on basis of gender (Spear-Thrower kick'm Og butt, make'm Og
leave'm cave, sleep'm in tree), but Spear-Thrower just as firm lay down
law:  Is open season on lusers.  (Og tell'm you.  Og much gentler than
Spear-Thrower.)  You clueless man, woman, or small furry creature from
horsehead nebula, Spear-Thrower not care'm.  LART'm all and let
Goddesses sort'm out, she say.  (Spear-Thrower and Og disagree'm on
religion.  She call'm Godesses, Og call'm Gods.  Og resign from debate;
Spear-Thrower make'm scientific case for gradual obsolescence of
Y-chromosome.)

--Og

You watch'm Xena: Warrior Princess, you get'm fair clue what
Spear-Thrower like (only Lucy Lawless not as pretty as Og wife, even at
12,000 year old).[1]

[1] Xena LART is East-Indian weapon call'm "chakram".  Edge not need'm
be knife-sharp.  Throw'm just like "frisbee", or spin'm on index finger
like'm Sikh do.  Fly'm[2].  Do'm loop.  Throw'm into wind, make'm hover.
(Show not'm that far off from truth, actually.)  Medieval Europe have'm
similar LART, call'm "hurlbat".  Look'm like bat, with handle.  Throw'm.
Not need'm aim, just throw.  Fly'm.  Not descriminating LART, do'm much
collateral damage.  (Og wife have line on modern supplier of ancient
armaments.  Keep'm wall full of LARTs.  LART'm with tool based on
where'm luser is.  LART'm Japan with katana and wakizashi.  (Her
swordplay'm very good, but you see'm only right before'm she cut'm you
in two.  She not draw'm sword without kill'm something with[2].  You
never want see'm, trust Og.)  Og traditionalist, just stick'm with
mallet.

[2] Flight not invention of Wright Brothers.  Place'm MAN in flight
under power of motor, they do.  But man have'm flight in form of toys
and weapons for 10,000 year.  Caveman take'm stick, make'm hook in,
affix'm to end of spear, make'm spear go farther.  Make'm boomerangs,
make'm darts, make'm throw-knife.  If Gods not intend'm man to fly, Gods
never give'm man so many example.  You see'm flight evolve'm in plants.
See'm in FISH.  Have'm flying mammals, flying lizards.  GODS invent'm
flight, give'm to man.  What Gods not intend'm man have, not provide
example of for man see'm.  (Og get'm too close Og religion, stop now.)

[3] Og-wife version of UDP is rather bit more "permanent" penalty than
exisitng UDP.

-- 
Og motto:  Respectibus lartus malleus Og.
========================================================
Og, Caveman                     | "Og use'm stick, scratch dirt, make html."
Og have stone mallet.           |                            --  Dave Lugo in
Og member Lumber Cartel (TINLC) | Message-ID: <[email-masked]>

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: C&C Og recieve'm luser flame! 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/05/16 

In article <[email-masked]>, Jenny Holmberg 
<[email-masked]> wrote:

> Got all that.  But I'd prefer to be an axe-wielder instead of a
> spear-thrower, if that's alright with you.

That'm fine with Og.  Spear-thrower recommends this source for high-tech
version of ancient war axe:

http://www.coldsteel.com/badax.html

You still need'm spear, go'm:

http://www.coldsteel.com/assjav.html
http://www.coldsteel.com/borspr.html

Og not represent'm these folks, and him not do'm business with.
Spear-Thrower say them okay, and prices okay.  Get'm small spear for
$10.  Price goes up from there.

In honor of'm Lumber Cartel (tinlc), they even carry'm plain old stick:

http://www.coldsteel.com/walkabout.html

Solid Hickory.  Better thing come out'm Hope, Arkansas than current
President, let'm Og tell.  Hand-turn'm on lathe.  $30 sound'm pricey,
but you write'm bad-mojo, deep-magic code, need'm look like sourceress,
this'm for you.

>> You watch'm Xena: Warrior Princess, you get'm fair clue what
>> Spear-Thrower like (only Lucy Lawless not as pretty as Og wife, even
>> at 12,000 year old).[1]
> 
> I prefer Callisto.  She has *such* a lovely smile when she's in her
> Psycho-Barbie mood....

Ooooogf!  Spear-Thrower say'm she approve.

--Og
-- 
"I believe my theory of relativity to be true. But it will only be proved for
certain in 1981, when I am dead."              -- Albert Einstein (1879-1955).
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Og, Caveman BOFH sysadmin.                   "Respectibus lartus malleus Og."

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: C&C Og recieve'm luser flame! 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/05/16 

In article <[email-masked]>, [email-masked] 
(Kelly Thompson) wrote:

>> You sysdamin, abuse minion, or yes, even tech support.
> 
> I'm RBL Project Manager.  Will that do?  I answer the RBL Hotline,
> which is kinda like tech support. 

Above seems to be "kick-ass" qualification.

> I have a mallet and a pair of vise grips on my desk. 
> 
>> (Above qualifications not all-inclusive.  You make'm good argue to
>> me.)
> 
> I can cook. 

Own'm mallet, and also can cook....  Og-wife, she invent'm cooking.
(Not mean'm just roast'm meat over fire; cave folks have'm that back
when Neanderthals still about.)  You cook, you part of GRAND tradition.
Spear-Thrower approve'm.

> FC(idiosyncratic)VO "hot" and "babe". 
>
> Do I pass? 

Pass?  Go to head of class.  Og spear-thrower put'm you charge of TEAM
of spear-throwers!  (Actually not need'm do that; you already RBL
Project Manager.)

We hand'm out spears at next lumber cartel convention (tanlcc).

--Og

See'm other post in thread for where get'm spear for place'm on wall.
-- 
"I believe my theory of relativity to be true. But it will only be proved for
certain in 1981, when I am dead."              -- Albert Einstein (1879-1955).
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Og, Caveman BOFH sysadmin.                    "Respectibus lartus malleus Og"

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: C&C Og recieve'm luser flame! 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/05/16 

In article <[email-masked]>, 
[email-masked] (Steve Sobol) wrote:

> A picture of the RBL team appears on-screen.
> 
> The caption says "LART."

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/bomb/sfeature/cloud.html

That LART.

--Og
-- 
"I believe my theory of relativity to be true. But it will only be proved for
certain in 1981, when I am dead."                Albert Einstein (1879-1955).
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Og, Caveman BOFH sysadmin.                   "Respectibus lartus malleus Og."

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: C&C Christ's AUP 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/05/16 

In article <[email-masked]>, 
[email-masked] (Dave Romerstein) wrote:

>> Og not like'm intolerance.
> 
> There's something very zen about this sentence....

Yup, Og try'm zen.  Get'm quite good.

Take'm axe.  Take'm bucket.  Go chop wood.  Go tote water.

Be the chopping of wood.  Be the toting of water.

That "zen".

You mind way universe experience self.  Go.  Be.  Become the vastness!

sub enlightenment {
   for (values(%nirvana) != $empty) {
        push (values(%nirvana), $vastness)
   }
}

So say Og.

--Og
-- 
"I believe my theory of relativity to be true. But it will only be proved for
 certain in 1981, when I am dead."              < Albert Einstein (1879-1955).
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Og, Caveman BOFH sysadmin.                   "Respectibus lartus malleus Og."

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: OT: spammauler make og page 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/05/18 

In article <[email-masked]>, "SpamMauler" 
<[email-masked]> wrote:

> Just a quick and dirty, but kinda fun....
> 
> http://www.somtel.com/~nic/og/oghome.htm

You wan't take words "unofficial" off'm page?  tr/dino/mastodon/  Og
never seen "dino".  They live'm 65million year ago.  Og only live'm
12,000 year.  You replace'm Cro-Magnon with more modern, neolithic
caveman.  You REALLY want'm take "unofficial" off'm page, you consult'm
with Og.

Otherwise, Og like'm.

Next time though, you remember'm C&C.  You owe Og new stone keyboard.

--Og
-- 
"I would love to be quoted as being hated  |               Mike Godwin,
 by Martha Siegel. That would make my day."|          EFF Legal Counsel
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Og, Caveman, sysadmin, BOFH              "Respectibus lartus malleus og."

From: Caveman OG ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: New Minion 
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Date: 2000/05/23 

In article <[email-masked]>, Rob Mitchell 
<[email-masked]> wrote:

> Would "Og" be one of the old ones, in that sense?

No, but you want'm invoke ancients on USENET, you try call upon "Chuq"
or "Spaf".  Not work if you not known to them.

You want'm REALLY invoke ancients, you ask Og in e-mail.  Not reveal'm
names of ancients of ancients.  Even Og look'm to Og shaman to speak
with.

--Og
-- 
"I would love to be quoted as being hated  |               Mike Godwin,
 by Martha Siegel. That would make my day."|          EFF Legal Counsel
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Og, Caveman, sysadmin, BOFH              "Respectibus lartus malleus og."