Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1999 11:13:48 -0800 From: Nick Moffitt To: crackmonkey@zork.net Subject: [crackmonkey] [glen@qnx.com: Liverpool Supporter Standards] Stop me if you've heard this one before... ----- Forwarded message from glen mccready ----- Forwarded-by: Lloyd Wood earliest-From: Virgil Porter A Liverpool Football Club scout returns from Bosnia raving about a new teenage superstar he's seen in the war torn country. Roy Evans, Liverpool's manager, is convinced and is so desperate for no one else to snatch the teenager up that he signs the boy without going and looking at him for himself. The boy arrives in Liverpool for Saturday's game, and is on the bench. With ten minutes to go Fowler gets injured and is stretchered off. Roy points to the new Bosnian boy: "This is your big chance, son. Go out there and do the business for us!" The lad strips off his shell suit and takes to the pitch. In those dying minutes he's a revelation, scoring a hat trick. The Kop goes mad. After the game Evans gives the new boy a big hug in the changing room. "Great performance son. Go and give your parents a ring at home and tell them how well you've done. You're on the team permanently. They'll be so proud of you. You can use the phone in my office". The lad goes into the boss's office and rings his mum. "Mum, I've just had the best debut; I scored a hat-trick... you don't sound very happy though; why are you crying? Is everything okay?" "No, son, today has been the worst yet. Your dad has been shot, they've raped your sister, and the house has been burnt to the ground." "God, mum, that's terrible; I'm really sorry." "So you should be. It was your idea for us to move to Liverpool!" ----- End forwarded message ----- -- * Progress (n.): The process through which Usenet has evolved from smart people in front of dumb terminals to dumb people in front of smart terminals. -- obs@burnout.demon.co.uk (obscurity) ===================================================================== To unsubscribe, send a message to majordomo@zork.net saying "unsubscribe crackmonkey" in the body of the message.