From: jbradley@earthlink.net (GRAVY) Subject: Beatles tech songs With apologies to John, Paul, George, Ringo, and perhaps Ogden Nash... jb [contributed by Ken Kohn] Write in C When I find my code in tons of trouble, Friends and colleagues come to me, Speaking words of wisdom: "Write in C." As the deadline fast approaches, And bugs are all that I can see, Somewhere, someone whispers: "Write in C." Write in C, Write in C, Write in C, oh, Write in C. LOGO's dead and buried, Write in C. I used to write a lot of FORTRAN, For science it worked flawlessly. Try using it for graphics! Write in C. If you've just spent nearly 30 hours, Debugging some assembly, Soon you will be glad to Write in C. Write in C, Write in C, Write in C, yeah, Write in C. BASIC's not the answer. Write in C. Write in C, Write in C Write in C, oh, Write in C. Pascal won't quite cut it. Write in C. ================================================= Eleanor Rigby Eleanor Rigby Sits at the keyboard And waits for a line on the screen Lives in a dream Waits for a signal Finding some code That will make the machine do some more. What is it for? All the lonely users, where do they all come from? All the lonely users, why does it take so long? Guru MacKenzie Typing the lines of a program that no one will run; Isn't it fun? Look at him working, Drinking a coke as he waits for the code to compile; It takes a while... All the lonely users, where do they all come from? All the lonely users, why does it take so long? Eleanor Rigby Crashes the system and loses 6 hours of work; Feels like a jerk. Guru MacKenzie Wiping the crumbs off the keys as he types in the code; Nothing will load. All the lonely users, where do they all come from? All the lonely users, why does it take so long? ================================================= Unix Man He's a real UNIX Man Sitting in his UNIX LAN Making all his UNIX .plans For nobody Knows the blocksize from du(1) Cares not where /dev/null goes to Isn't he a bit like you And me? UNIX Man, please listen(2) My lpd(8)is missin' UNIX Man The wo-o-o-orld is your at(1) command He's as wise as he can be Uses lex and yacc and C UNIX Man, can you help me At all? UNIX Man, don't worry Test with time(1), don't hurry UNIX Man The new kernel boots, just like you had planned He's a real UNIX Man Sitting in his UNIX LAN Making all his UNIX .plans For nobody Making all his UNIX .plans For nobody ================================================= Something Something in the way it fails, Defies the algorithm's logic! Something in the way it coredumps... I don't want to leave it now I'll fix this problem somehow Somewhere in the memory I know, A pointer's got to be corrupted. Stepping in the debugger will show me... I don't want to leave it now I'm too close to leave it now You're asking me can this code go? I don't know, I don't know... What sequence causes it to blow? I don't know, I don't know... Something in the initializing code? And all I have to do is think of it! Something in the listing will show me... I don't want to leave it now I'll fix this tonight I vow! .end. -*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*- The GRAVY letter by James Bradley, now in beta. -*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*- Beta subscriptions are free. Whenever Electronic Commerce becomes an Easy To Use Reality GRAVY will go commercial. Subsequent subscriptions will require the exchange of valuable consideration in an amount too small for you to notice. Beta testers will be handsomely rewarded when this transition happens. -*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*- GRAVY will come to be supported by a web site and a list server. One other letter will also be available from the site at launch, the GOODNEWS letter of encouraging positive anecdotes, edited by Zan Gaudioso. Other letters shall become available in the wake of huge commercial success. -*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*- CONTRIBUTIONS are welcome. Send via email to jbradley@earthlink.net. PLEASE DO NOT SEND COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL. -*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*- FORWARDING by any non-automatic electronic means is authorized and encouraged with this footer intact. Other rights are reserved, to the extent we own them. -*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*- To SUBSCRIBE to the GRAVY Letter, or to UNSUBSCRIBE, send email to jbradley@earthlink.net, with SUBSCRIBE or UNSUBSCRIBE in the SUBJECT line. -*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*- James Bradley Email: jbradley@earthlink.net 123dotdot Tel: 213 953 0700 3603 Seneca Ave. Fax: 213 953 0800 Los Angeles, CA 90039 &8-P -*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*- This footer is proof that text is deliverable to everyone right now.