[conspire] Yogi Berra, computer scientist, dead at 90

[Rick Moen]

Making the rounds, put together by some unknown wit.

-------- Forwarded Message --------

On O(n) constants:
"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice.  In practice,
there is."  [Take that, Don Knuth!]

On cut-and-choose:
"You better cut the pizza in four pieces, because I'm not hungry enough to
eat six."

On quantum computation:
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it."

On debugging:
"You can observe a lot by watching."

On speculative execution & the failure of IBM's Model 91:
"We made too many wrong mistakes."

On load balancing:
"Nobody goes there anymore.  It's too crowded."

On the Halting Problem:
"It ain't over till it's over."

On self-referential statements:
"I never said most of the things I said."  [Take that!, Bertrand Russell!]

On memory caches' ability to reduce latency:
"The future ain't what it used to be."

On network synchronization:
"It gets late early out here."

On neural network convergence:
"If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else."

On Google's success:
"I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopaedia.  Let them walk to school
like I did."

On the security of multiparty cryptographic protocols:
"Never answer an anonymous letter."

On the difference between "wall clock time" and "CPU time":
"I usually take a two-hour nap from one to four."

On recursive sorting algorithms & dynamic programming:
"The lousy teams are good, this year."

On cryptographic zero-knowledge protocols:
"There are some people who, if they don't already know, you can't tell 'em."

On cache misses:
"I wish I had an answer to that, because I'm tired of answering that
question."

On Turing Machine diagonalization:
"I knew the record would stand until it was broken."

On parallel system synchronization deadlock:
"You should always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't
come to yours."

----- End forwarded message -----