[conspire] (off-topic rant:) Things I learned while getting a new refrigerator

Wed May 1 08:34:58 PDT 2013

As much trouble as it is to DIY, "pros" like this sure make it seem
attractive.

On Apr 30, 2013 8:14 PM, "Ross Bernheim" <rossbernheim at speakeasy.net> wrote:
>
> Proof that Murphy was an optimist!
>
> Goof-ups seem to be the norm for appliance installations. My new washer
and dryer were not as
> bad as your adventures.
>
> I am dreading the future replacement of both refrigerator and dishwasher
in the future. The fridge
> has a small space to fit into and a narrow doorway to get into the
kitchen.
>
>
> Ross
>
>
> On Apr 30, 2013, at 12:20 AM, Rick Moen <rick at linuxmafia.com> wrote:
>
> >
> > o  Lawyers are afraid of water.
> > o  Deliverymen are afraid of copper.
> > o  A work order is merely an opening to negotiation.
> > o  Mothers-in-law cannot count.
> > o  Mobile telephone numbers are invisible.
> >
> >
> > The evening of Saturday, April 13th,  I notice that some items in my
> > refrigerator's freezer compartment didn't seem to be very frozen.  I
> > make a figurative note to self to investigate and maybe adjust the
> > controls some time soon after I caught up on sleep.
> >
> >
> > I.  Failure, Part Un.
> >
> > Adequate sleep was not to be, because mother-in-law Cheryl, who
> > lives with us, cannot count:  At 7 AM Monday morning, Cheryl wakes me up
> > two hours early, by bellowing into the master bedroom 'Rick, the freezer
> > isn't working.  We need to do something about it.'  I stagger out,
> > and it soon transpires that 'we' means just Rick, Cheryl's role being
> > limited to standing in the way and asking poorly thought out questions.
> > Based on a dumb (but plausible when not really awake) hypothesis that
> > freezer overstuffing had blocked airflow, I swap out some contents,
> > clean, adjust the controls, and set an ice cube tray to reveal later
> > whether the freezer is doing its thing.
> >
> >
> > II.  Failure, Part Deux.
> >
> > By Tuesday evening, it emerges that the freezer's thing no longer
includes
> > freezing anything.  Control-twiddling does not avail.  I correct some
> > yoyo's prior 'help' in pushing the appliance almost to the back wall
> > (which thereafter impaired airflow).  I vacuum-clean the condensor
> > coils, etc.  No go.  I write a second figurative memo to prevent further
> > 'help' using wooden blocks.
> >
> > Wednesday the 17th:  Cheryl has been more helpful, and finds a
> > well-regarded local appliance vendor, Pacific Sales of Redwood City.
> > Over lunch, I go there.  We require a side-by-side because Deirdre and
> > Cheryl cannot reach down to a bottom freezer drawer.  Also, ideally we
> > need a 'counter depth' model that doesn't project so deep into the
> > kitchen.  All the desirable models have both icemaker and water
> > dispenser, which like electric car windows seems like just something
> > more to break but we are reasonably happy with a Whirlpool GSC25C4EYY
> > for $1499 + tax, so we buy it even though they're backordered on this
> > popular model and cannot promise delivery for two weeks.  What the heck,
> > we still have a functional refigerator:  It's just the freezer portion
> > that's wonky.  I shell out for the Whirlpool.  I waffle on whether we
> > want to pay for water hookup, because I don't know if my 1956 house has
> > the water line.  Our rep Brett says, if we install a water line, be sure
> > to have the plumber include a shutoff valve behind the refrigerator.
> >
> > That evening, the non-freezer compartment also shows signs of failure,
> > and the refrigerator is running continuously, trying to compensate.
> > Thursday, our Pacific Sales contact calls back:  Hey, we can deliver
> > Friday or Saturday!  I've checked:  There's no existing water line.  So,
> > I arrange for Guy Plumbing to install the water line Friday.  Delivery
> > will be Saturday.
> >
> >
> > III.  Hydrophobia.
> >
> > Over the telephone, Guy Plumbing's dispatcher asks 'Do you have hardwood
> > floors?'  I didn't quite hear the question, she thinks I said yes, and
> > she firmly tells me their insurance won't let them do plumbing with
> > hardwood floors.  (People with hardwood floors have to just use
> > outhouses, I guess.)
> >
> > I don't entirely get this, but clarify that we have tile flooring in the
> > kitchen.  Oh, that's all right, then.
> >
> > Friday, I drive home over lunch to make sure things aren't going
> > sideways with the plumber.  I repeat the bit about a shutoff valve
> > behind the fridge.  He says 'Appliance installers are a bit peculiar and
> > inflexible about what they think they need.  If they have a problem,
> > have them call me.'  There's a very obvious needle valve under the
> > kitchen sink.  Fine.
> >
> > I arrange with Pacific Sales for the delivery people to do the line
> > hookup.  It's now part of the work order.
> >
> >
> > IV.  Scheduled Doesn't Mean Scheduled.
> >
> > Saturday the 20th, a week into this decreasingly chilly saga, we're
> > sitting around waiting for the delivery.  I've moved spoilables into an
> > icechest and am now buying two 10lb bags of ice daily.  Just before 5pm,
> > smelling a screwup, we call Brett at Pacific Sales.  He says:  That's
> > funny.  We sent the paperwork but somehow it wasn't added to the
> > delivery schedule.  He says he has to call us back and is trying to line
> > something up for Sunday.  Fifteen minutes later, he calls to say he's
> > arranging for Best Buy to do the delivery on Monday, as Pacific Sales
> > will be closed Sunday and Monday.  Grr, OK, best that can be done.
> >
> >
> > V.  Gosh, We Knew We Were Forgetting Something.
> >
> > Monday late afternoon, nobody is showing up.  More calls.  The Best Buy
> > people say:  'Oh, we had your delivery order, but it didn't include your
> > _address_.'  WTF?  How can it be considered a delivery order without an
> > address?   In what universe does that make even the tiniest amount of
> > sense?  And wouldn't you, y'know, call one of the two mobile numbers
> > written on the order?
> >
> > They promise they'll furnish a $75 Best Buy coupon for being such total
> > prats -- which they never provide -- and say we're this-time-for-sure
> > the very first delivery for Tuesday morning.
> >
> >
> > VI.  Copper is the Colour of Death.
> >
> > Tuesday 8:30am, an unfamiliar number rings my mobile and there's nobody
> > there.  I call back, it rings through, and there's nobody talking.  I
> > hang up and call back a second time, and it's a Best Buy deliverman
> > speaking monosyllables (the most he can manage), who says they're just
> > finishing up their _first_ delivery of the morning and will arrive in 10
> > minutes.
> >
> > 20 minutes later, they finally show.  The gorillas remove the old
> > refrigerator, splashing dirty water from the spill tray onto my kitchen
> > floor.  They ask me how to do their jobs and ask to borrow an Allen
> > wrench.  (Because, y'now, if you're working with tools, it would never
> > do to have them.)  I say, imperial or metric set?  Metric.  I fetch.
> >
> > The gorilla ignores the fact that all the parts of the refrigerator are
> > covered by plastic protective wrapping that must be removed, and fastens
> > the handles.  That's what he wanted my Allen wrenches for.  (Later, I
> > have to detach the handles to remove the plastic, then reattach the
> > handles.  Thanks, guy!)
> >
> > The gorilla takes a peek into the refrigerator nook, then says the
> > Amazing Words of the Day:  'Oh, that's copper.  I'm not allowed to touch
> > copper.  I'll be fired if I do.'  Quote unquote.
> >
> > I'm having another WTF moment about company policy.  Having the shutoff
> > valve under the kitchen sink is no obstacle, but Element 29 is a total
> > deal-breaker.  Their having been _paid_ to do hookup does not avail.
> >
> > I don't understand this, but I see a simple task and a delivery gorilla
> > holding a wrench.  I say 'So, no problem if I touch the copper, right?'
> > No problem.  He also has no problem fumbling along the back of the
> > Whirlpool to find the attachment nib, unscrews its cap, and fumbles the
> > cap into the innards of the refrigerator.  (Thanks, guy!)  I pull the
> > water line over without immediately fatal effects, screw its fitting
> > onto the nib, and use the gorilla's wrench to fasten it tight.  He beams
> > in the reflected glory of someone actually doing something useful, then
> > leaves.  I spend the next hour removing packing materials, and getting
> > the refrigerator going arriving at work 1/2 hour late.
> >
> >
> > VII.  The Mystery of Water and Copper Solved.
> >
> > The gorilla's absolute prohibition against touching copper having been
> > very particular, I am able to quote his odd utterance verbatim to my
> > coworkers.  My hillbilly colleague Colin explains:
> >
> > o  The whole thing's driven by corporate fear of liability lawsuits.
> >
> > o  The plumbing company fears legal liability for leak damage to
hardwood floors.
> >
> > o  The appliance company assumes that delivery people are idiots.
> >
> > o  Hookups for water to refrigerator can be either plastic pipe or
> >   flexible copper coils.  If the gorilla breaks the plastic pipe, that
> >   break will be obvious instantly and ended using the shutoff valve.
> >   By contrast, the gorilla kinking a coil of copper tubing could cause
> >   a really slow water leak that could cause immense damage to flooring
and
> >   subflooring before being noticed.
> >
> > o  So, delivery people are simply forbidden to ever touch copper.  If
> >   they don't touch it, they can't break it.
> >
> >
> > VIII.  Denouement.
> >
> > The refrigerator works great, and easy access to filtered water and
> > automatically generated ice is corroding my crypto-Protestant
> > asceticism.
> >
> > However, if I ever have to buy another refrigerator, I'm frakking well
> > going to rent a pickup and appliance dolly, and do it myself.
> >
> >
> >
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>
>
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